Confidence

Could you be shameless? When you talk to a woman and she attempts to shame you (for any reason), the best thing to do is stand firm… and unashamed.

The world today is a bizarre, polarized place where a whole lot of people get off on acting shocked at opinions that were standard fare even a decade ago.

People make accusations.

They give you funny looks.

If you're just getting used to women now, those shocked reactions, looks, and accusations might be enough to make you want to crawl back into your shell... or simply never share your thoughts on anything again.

Yet here's the thing: if you are unapologetic about who you are and what you think, and you own it, and can't be bullied into shame, people will respect you.

They'll respect you far more than those timorous souls who duck their heads and prostrate themselves before whoever dares accuse them of things.

This can make all the difference between a woman who's disgusted with you, and one enamored with you.

If you're like most guys, you're not going out right now. Yet single women are lonelier than ever, and more receptive to your approaches than ever before.

I'm just about finished an epic "3 potential futures for dating in a post-lockdown world" article that explores the current and potential long-lasting social changes we're looking at, depending on one of three scenarios (lockdowns lift in 2022 as currently promised; rolling annual lockdowns become a normal part of Western disease-fighting; or permanent lockdowns are here to stay, with freedom passes awarded to good citizens).

But then you get into speculating about the future, and as neutral as I try to make an article like that it's hard not to veer into this side or that side, and, frankly, at this point, we're living in a dystopia, and talking about the dystopia we're in is sort of depressing.

And everyone's got enough depression to deal with already.

So instead I want to do something different.

Instead, let me set that huge long massive article aside (and maybe I will or won't publish it at some point) and do something else.

Let me talk to you about what women are going through right now.

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Hey and welcome back.

After finishing my latest series on indirect game, I’ve decided to make a few more posts covering aspects of the topic that did not make it into my series or respond to questions and comments that I have seen in the comment sections.

Today I want to debunk the idea that women are always aware of your intentions, as if they were ultra-intuitive super-computers.

This flawed argument is often used as a sort of counterargument to indirect game.

The argument goes as follows:

“What’s the point of going indirect, if she knows that you are hitting on her anyway?”

Followed up with:

“So, you might as well be direct about your intentions.”

I see this argument often, and every time I read it my eyes hurt.

There are false beliefs involved in this line of thinking.

I always wonder how this idea first appeared.

It seems to be a form of projection of male thinking onto women (yes, we are wired differently). And yet I have no clear idea where such notions came from.

What I can say is that this line of reasoning is wrong:

• The first dimension is that "women can sense what your true intentions are – they can sense you are hitting on them". This is false, although there are some nuances

• Even if we were to assume the above is indeed correct (or that elements of it may at times be true), then it is still not a reason for going direct

So, on both levels, the whole argument is flawed, and this line of thought can be safely thrown into the wastebasket.

This is what this post is about, debunking this line of thought by discussing these two dimensions.

A forum member spends over a year pining over a girl he likes yet never talks to. What can he finally do to get things moving?

I found an interesting post on Skilled Seducer, the Girls Chase forum.

If you’re not yet a member, it’s a great place to go for guidance, to make friends, or share what you’ve learned on your journey.

If you join, you might get personalized advice from guys like myself, Alex, Hector, or even Chase.

I'll use this post to highlight a ubiquitous and unfortunate problem for a great many men, who find themselves pining away, waiting in vain:

The problem of that one special girl.

Solving this problem means rescuing yourself from the chain of torture, paralysis, and perpetual waiting for things that never come to pass.

The common wisdom is if you gloat about sex as a man, women won't want you. But is that always the case? Sometimes, it isn't…

There is a double standard with regard to which sex gets to “play the field” indefinitely and receive praise for succeeding in racking up hundreds of attractive sex partners. As we know, guys who do this – players – supposedly have an easier time in society than their female counterpart: “sluts.”

Players don’t always enjoy as many perks as you might think. For instance, other men may want to keep them out of their social circles, fearing their girlfriends will fall victim to the chad’s debauched depredations.

Still, girls who sleep around have a much harder time, mostly due to other girls’ gossip and backstabbing, which is an attempt on their part to increase the price of access to their vaginas.

But there is another double standard that is going to be the subject of today’s article. That double standard is which sex gets to gloat about the opposite sex partners they’ve shagged or other lurid details of their love lives.

And here it is clear that girls have the upper hand. Guys are, so the thinking goes, meant to be discreet, downplay or even be completely silent about their dalliances and appetites: “Don’t kiss and tell.”

What if a guy were to go against this “rule”?

What effect does a guy gloating about the sex he’s had with a girl or girls in the plural have on other girls who may be present during the gloating?

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We’ve all heard of approach anxiety, but what about approach procrastination?

Approach procrastination is delaying, avoiding, or putting off the act of going out to practice approaching women.

Approach procrastinators say they want to learn pickup, but only get out on the weekend for a short day or night session, then go home to procrastinate for another week, or four.

These chronic approach procrastinators often hang out on forums, or WhatsApp groups, where they are eager to discuss and argue their seduction and self-improvement philosophies. I see them on the streets, or in the malls when I’m running bootcamps, walking in circles for hours, occasionally mustering the courage to do an approach. By that time, their busy wingmen have already tried ten or more times, and are ready to go home and play Xbox.

Because these men never put in the real effort required to meet available and eager women, they become discouraged, which further disincentivizes them to try again. This leads to feelings of missed opportunities, guilt, stress, depression and resentment.

How do I know this? Because I, Tony D, am a serial procrastinator. Over the years I’ve developed a toolset to keep me moving forward and keep me from falling into a torpid state of apathy and sloth. So, I’ll do my best to help you chronic procrastinators in your quest to be awesome with women.

Let’s look at the main causes of approach procrastination

Women will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.