Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

If you’ve been going the same places to meet girls for a while, they can die off or you can find yourself in a rut. That’s when it’s time to shake it up!

Hi guys and welcome back.

Today, I want to discuss a little-known night game topic: whether you should try out new venues or stick to your favorites.

It depends on where you are, and many factors come into play.

Going to a familiar venue (home turf advantage) where you know the crowd, the staff, the venue codes and social culture, understand the logistics and what strategies work, and feel comfortable will make your night easier.

It is an instinctual response to feel anxious in new venues. A new environment makes you more alert, which makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, as it ensures your survival to be alert in a foreign environment.

And, of course, being anxious and overly alert may affect your mood, impacting your results negatively.

If you know the venue well, you'll know how to play it and feel at ease there. You feel at home and safe, thus, feel more liberated. You know what is appropriate versus inappropriate behavior, allowing you to let go. If you are unsure what is acceptable, you may over-restrict yourself and be too risk-averse.

You may also know people at the venue who enhance your feelings of familiarity, making you even more at ease. Similarly, knowing some people may put you in a talkative, social mood, further contributing to a good state.

Good seducers have home turfs-venues they frequent often. From my own experience, most prolific night gamers become regulars at venues they like and usually rotate between three to five venues. They don't go to new places every weekend. Why? There are benefits to being a regular, and it would be unwise not to enjoy them. Advanced gamers know this.

There are venues I like and that I often return to. Moving around, changing cities every three years, I automatically find a few venues I enjoy (clusters, see my previous post), ranging between two and seven venues at any time. Each venue serves a different purpose.

So, should you even try new venues? And when?

When a girl is laughing a lot but also blocking you from moving forward, what do you do? Simple enough: you tell her she’s blowing it – and WAKE her up!

Here’s a tidy little kit of banter lines you can use to enliven the dynamic with a girl.

Sometimes you’ll get a girl where there’s a good playful/flirtatious vibe with, who is also testing you a lot or being resistant to your moves. There are different reasons this may be:

• She likes you but is treating it too much like “a game.”

• She likes you but is self-conscious due to people around.

• She likes you but not enough to go past flirtation.

You can get stuck in a loop here, continuing the playful banter, going nowhere. But then you aren’t moving forward, the banter gets stale, and the girl gets bored and leaves.

You can eject and go talk to other girls. If you’re somewhere social or it’s social circle, perhaps you’ll run into this girl again. If you’re texting her or it’s online dating, maybe she’ll be easier to crack the next time you talk to her.

Or, perhaps if you eject now, that’ll be all she wrote – you won’t get another real shot with her again.

What you can do INSTEAD – to get yourself unstuck from that loop, flip the frame on her, and avoid having to hit ‘eject’ – is to tell the girl she’s blowing it with you, and put the pressure on HER to get things moving.