I responded to a few reports on our Field Reports Board recently (over on the forum) in which newer guys fell into the trap of asking women they’d just approached too many questions.
Here’s an excerpt from one report – I’m just going to post what the forum member said and skip the girl’s replies just to give you a sense of the question frequency here:
[opens]
"Hi, so what's your name?"
"How are you doing today?"
"Pretty good, I just, uh, got out of the coffee shop. I was just reading a book and chilling today. You?"
"Oh awesome, the Korean corndog place?"
"But they look like corndogs."
"Okay okay. Well, girls are usually interested in hotdogs."
"So what kind of boba are you going to get?"
"Oh, I've been to that place. I really liked the watermelon."
"Are you guys boba addicts?"
"I'm part of the, uh, boba anonymous addiction recovery group."
"Maybe. Maybe I'm just replacing one vice with another."
"Yeah. Are you from around the area or...?"
"Oh, that's pretty prestigious."
"Yeah, I also grew up around the area. I went not to <her school>, I went to <school name>."
"Yeah, did you just graduate?"
"Oh awesome, what did you study?"
"Oh nice...so you like money, and numbers? <Teasing her>"
That is 9 questions out of 18 separate remarks. 50% questions.
Here’s an excerpt from a second report:
But we get to talking and again my problem is my conversational skills be dry as fuck I can't think of anything to say beyond what do you do and where are you from. Anyway she tells me she goes to church and turns out she goes to the same church I used to go to, I ask her for her number and she says she doesn't give that out so I left.
…
But I couldn't think of anything to say my conversation skills are super dry. How do I be better at conversation and get her attraction to continue building? I could just feel these girl's attraction to me slowly waning the more we talked cuz I didn't know how to keep the spark going.
Here again we have an incident where the guy was struggling to get much more going on than asking some basic questions while struggling through conversation.
I just want to be clear: I’m not ragging on our forum members! I did the same thing as them when a newbie. You could’ve called me “Mr. Questions” at times.
It’s tough when you get into a chat with a girl who isn’t giving you much back. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the ‘infinite questions loop’. She’ll answer your questions but she contributes nothing! What do you do except ask MORE questions!
Well, I’m going to give you a strategy for what to do:
You are going to ask ZERO questions!
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