Most Guys Who Give Up on Dating Give Up Far Too Soon

Many guys dabble in talking to girls, flirting, and trying various ways to approach – only to soon give up. But if you want success, you must stick with it!

I’ve been thinking about this more lately, this idea that the vast majority of men “give up” on dating way, way too soon.

Right. Compounding effects… a few early good experiences give confidence; confidence is more attractive than anything else; more good experiences —> virtuous cycle.

Meanwhile, a few early bad experiences —> low confidence —> big attraction hit (few girls like the unconfident guy) —> more bad experiences, or the guy just totally withdraw and gets no experiences.

Usually the unconfident guys end up having very few real world experiences, don’t really “go for it” with girls at all, then end up looking for reasons why they’re all alone. They read stuff online from a bunch of women talking about “it just happens!” (because that’s how it happens for women; as a man, you have to go out and make it happen), decide it hasn’t happened to them because of [whatever shortcoming], and just retreat further in.

Hopefully at some point the guy has a rock bottom moment, shakes out of it, and says, “Screw this. I’m going to get what I want!” and starts throwing himself into it and learning as he goes.

Not all guys do though… which is very sad.

(we used to have societies where everyone was constantly encouraging young men to be go-getters. That’s totally broken down now. Human instincts only go so far… without guidance, it is very easy to get lost in the weeds)

— Girls Chase 🏃‍♀️💨 (@GirlsChase) October 21, 2024

Primarily this is due to the encouraging/discouraging effect of early experiences.

When you take a guy out on an approach bootcamp to get him meeting girls in-the-flesh, for instance, you want to engineer the bootcamp so he’s getting wins as fast as possible:

• Take him to venues you know the girls are receptive to meeting men.

• Send him into girls you can tell are likely open to meet someone or even actively shooting approach invitations.

• Give him simple things to do right away that he is not doing on his own that will immediately get him new, exciting progress with girls he is not used to hitting:

  • Smile on approach
  • Tease her right away
  • Move her right away
  • Isolate her after 5-10 minutes of conversation
  • Propose a venue bounce after 20-30 minutes

The reason you do this is to build momentum into his approaching, that way he keeps going out after the bootcamp ends. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take a guy out and take his money and then he never does it again after that outing. I want to help him to begin building a habit that’s going to change his life.

Most men aren’t going to take bootcamps, which means most men are going to be learning on their own. No problem if a guy is super driven or is a skilled learner who already knows how to set himself up for victory and habit formation.

Men who don’t fall in either camp though all too often end up quitting before they even get going – and that’s just sad.