Tactics Tuesdays: Retroactive Discounting (Buy-In Tech)

How do you know if a girl likes what you’ve proposed – or if she’s likely to reject or flake on it? By using retroactive discounts to tell… that’s how.

I’ve had guys asking me lately about tactics for generating buy-in with girls.

So here’s one: it’s called ‘retroactive discounting’. Not my term; it comes from the psychology literature. It’s a name for a tactic we’ve all heard before, and possibly used: you offer to do something, and then couch that by saying you’re not sure if she wants to do it / maybe she doesn’t want to do it.

Like so:

We could grab drinks this weekend. Maybe that’s not your thing though.

Retroactive discounting allows you to recover in real time from an overly pushy or forward suggestion (e.g., one you made before checking her interests or schedule). But more importantly, it wraps a second consideration into your request – one where even if the girl is not available she can still express interest in you and commit to wanting to see you again.

You will use this one most often when you are zipping along very fast with girls (at least that is when I’ve always made the most use of it) – in other words, where you are aiming to do as much as possible in as little time as you can.