Over on the forum, a new member asked for insight on a girl he’d slept with who’d gone flakey. More accurately, in his case, she’d already been flakey before they hooked up… and merely continued to flake after it:
This girl was social circle but very fringe (I’ll get to that). We met a year ago and kicked it off one night but I didn’t attempt to escalate. Her friend told my friend she liked me and wanted to go home with me but I didn’t even go for number or anything (big miss on my part).
Despite social circle, she was fringe enough that we didn’t see each other again (except for once in passing) until 4 months ago when our friends offered to set us up. We went out and kicked it off and she gave me an escalation window but once again I didn’t sleep with, just got her number and asked her out.
We set up a date a week later and she flaked an hour before. Rescheduled 2 weeks later and it wasn’t a great date, she had plans after so no chance to escalate. She dodged my next invite so I went silent for 6 weeks and reconnected with her about 2 months ago. She seemed excited and agreed to go out.
We went out about 6 weeks ago, had a super fun night, ended up having sex (finally). I tried to parlay this into another hang out, when I asked her out again she told me she’d check her schedule and get back to me. She never did. Effectively ghosted. I saw her twice since then (ran into her in public) and both times she flirted a little but at this point I’m waiting for her to make the move.
Guess I’m just looking for some input on why she ghosted me after sex/what I can do next time to not make a girl who likes me go cold on me.
Does it seem weird that a girl would act flakey toward a guy, then sleep with him anyway?
Is it odd that after sleeping with a guy, she would continue to flake (or start to)?
Read on, and let’s discuss why this happens, and whether there’s anything you can do.
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