When to Let Girls CHASE You vs. When to Take the LEAD

It’s a lot of fun when a cute girl’s chasing you. But when and how do you make the switch to taking the lead with a girl who is in pursuit?

On my article about what to do when girls won’t sleep with you at your place, R comments:

Some articles emphasize leading, but other articles (and the name of the site) emphasize making her chase. To me they seem mutually exclusive. Is there any rule or principle on when each is applicable?

It’s a good question.

As I responded to R in that comment section, you can think of chasing as an implicit form of leading.

Observe a woman with a man chasing after her. He pursues, pursues, pursues… and at last she relents and tells him, “All right, you may buy me a drink.” He buys her the drink.

Who is leading and who is following?

Would you say the man is leading?

Obviously not, no. It is the woman – she led him to chase her, then she told him when he was allowed to invest, then told him exactly what to do.

At any point in a real seduction, you must be able to switch between making girls chase you (implicit leadership) vs. explicitly instructing them on what to do / moving things forward directly yourself (explicit leadership).

This can be a delicate balance to maintain, though – and many guys miss one half of the equation or the other.