Articles by Author: Cody Lyans | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Cody Lyans

Articles by Author: Cody Lyans

Having a Positive Outlook vs. Solving Every Little Detail

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By: Cody Lyans

As men, we often want to solve every little detail when it comes to women, especially when we are feeling cynical (when we don’t try in life). You don’t think you deserve it, you don’t want to hear confirmation that you suck, you just want to stay deaf, dumb, and blind. How can things ever work out unless you hold the MAGIC answers? How can you ever be good enough unless you can prove it? How can you progress at all if you don’t know everything there is to know?

Positive Outlook

You think you are doomed because you don’t know it all, and so you want all the details; you want to have it all figured out ahead of time. But what if I told you, the details will only get you to the fight. What if I told you that the fight you will then enter will suck and hurt, and all your obsessive planning will be minimally useful from this point on. Would you still rush to know it all, knowing it will only get you out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Sometimes we feel so compelled towards our desire for solutions and the truth that we cannot help but feel the allure of being a cynic, at least temporarily. So in this article I am going to explain to you why positivity is more valuable than every little detail about something you can find... and we’ll also discuss why it’s such an important tool to master and practical applications of it in our dating lives.

Compassion as a Weakness, Compassion as a Strength

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By: Cody Lyans

One of the most important journeys of the more experienced seducer is reaching the point where he embraces true compassion for women.

This is different from the emotion less experienced men feel, where they want to suck up a girl into their world and take care of her and provide for her, and it’s different from the emotion you feel as a more seasoned seducer, when you want to provide her with leg-tremblingly incredible sexual experiences.

It means to be able to do those things when appropriate but also recognize when NOT to do them.

A less dogmatic and more intuitive understanding of what her life is like as a woman requires the ability to differentiate between doting on a woman, and helping her be independently happy; to stop overruling her own thoughts and desires simply to fulfill yours; to stop being inflexible with your frame, even when you might actually be wrong. Truly compassionate men pay attention to these details, and they don’t push them off to the side for an easier journey.

Learning to mind this balance – being the powerful, effective man who is able to bring the things and women he wants into his life, to provide incredible experiences to the people around him, and to command and demand attention, while at the same time being mindful of the power you wield and developing the ability to wield it responsibly and judiciously – is one of the greatest lessons for the advanced student of the social arts.

compassion

Today I will be introducing you to four rules that will help you identify the fine line between real compassion in seduction and pretense.

How to Get the Girl on New Year’s Eve

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By: Cody Lyans

It’s New Year’s Eve, and there’s a good chance you’re headed out to a celebration of some sort; big, little, or somewhere in between. In that celebration, there will probably be some single girls, too... many of whom may be looking to ring in the New Year in a fun way.

It is easy to get swept up in the hype of a big night out, but while girls might be dressing provocatively and partying hard, the case is that on New Year’s it is twice as important to not get swept up by the atmosphere and keep your composure.

get laid new year's eve

The key to getting the girl on NYE is to not jump the gun by expecting a big payoff before you get there. You have to keep your expectations subdued and simply go along with whatever the night has to offer.

Even though I sometimes wish it were true, you can’t always just dive in and grab a girl’s panties with your teeth. Most of the time you just have to go with what the night is actually giving you rather than what you want it to give you.

Advantages on NYE do exist, but you need to be precise about what they are and take advantage of them without taking them too far, which is actually kind of a difficult tightrope walk.

Don’t Ask For a Guarantee

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By: Cody Lyans

Don’t Ask For a Guarantee

If only a woman just saw you better and gave you that chance to say your piece you would have the time and motivation to do your best, right?

We all like to think we are pretty handy, when push comes to shove. We think that if we throw ourselves into something head first or are given the opportunity we will knock it out of the park. Sadly, the reality is that often we choke or let the opportunity pass us by out of a fear of failure. We don’t capitalize on opportunities, and we often even discourage them, treating them like annoyances to be purged instead of chances to grow.

We enjoy thinking of ourselves as champions who will come out on top at the moment of truth, but the reality is usually much more awkward, and the solutions are somewhat unavailable to ordinary perception at first glance, so we try to bury those opportunities instead of trying to grasp them.

No one likes feeling awkward or blind, so we try to suppress our fears of failure through negotiation. It gives an illusion of sophistication or thoughtfulness that is socially accepted. In certain cultures and time periods it is extremely prevalent; arranged marriages, cultural dress, duties, etc. And it is all arranged in a way that takes certain social status away from the woman to limit her options in order to make her more pliable. We forget that it is affecting her life in a negative way to unsuccessfully enhance our own.

Make Her Feel Like a Woman

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By: Cody Lyans

Have you ever had a night out with a girl that really made you feel like a man?

If you are anything like me, it made you feel like you could conquer mountains. All the amazing things about being a man are amplified tenfold when a woman helps you remember that you ARE indeed a man. It is an intoxicating mix of sensations that helps you notice the contrasts of life that at other times blur together, and it releases all that dopamine and those feel-good hormones that make you feel like you have purpose.

You appreciate the fact that you are a man, and it rouses a deep sense of pride in you.

Make Her Feel Like a Woman

Having her on your arm, laughing, smiling and trusting, you strengthen your sense of self like nothing else.

Now imagine that all these effects also happen to a woman when you help her to feel like one. On a scale of one to ten, how likely do you think it is she will give you her number, a date, a kiss, follow you in a sexual relationship? Will she hold up limitless resistance and string you along? Forget about it! She would not waste an OUNCE of that perfect feeling. She will want to breathe you in and be intoxicated by this world of womanhood you have allowed her to enter, and she will be grateful.

Women are truly beautiful creatures, and this is never more apparent than when you are a man who can make a girl come ALIVE into her womanly whiles.

Classroom Body Language Part II: Positioning and More

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By: Cody Lyans

This is the follow up to “Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations”.

Women don’t see the world logically; when it comes to body language they explicitly avoid logic and instead just “feel” things out. They generally don’t think “Oh it is okay that that guy chose a corner” or “Well he just wasn’t feeling social today”, they generally take things you do as if it relates to them somehow and end up thinking you don’t like girls or are “usually grumpy” or something.

So if you want to get good at body language in a confined space, like in a classroom, you will need to act as if women will never hear your rationalizations for acting passive.

classroom body language

In the absence of girls reading you logically, you need to pay attention to what you do:

  • Positioning
  • Social momentum and how it is affecting your mood
  • How it might relate to her

Most guys just look for where to sit in a very logical way, but it is here at the start that their body language is set into motion to be bland, as they don’t care about what they are doing around women and lack appreciation for their environment and what their positioning communicates. Try to never just randomly pick a spot or let the crowd push you into a corner. It is okay to feel exposed; it will force you to stop playing around and think about your body language.

Great body language will allow you to sit anywhere openly.

Few people know this, but body language relies on social momentum, so never cut and run from exposure; never shroud your shoulders and turn away from everything. Small social interactions fuel body language, and this fuel is necessary to highlight how you feel about women to the women who look at you.

Downplay Her Interest and Really Make Her Want You

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By: Cody Lyans

I’m writing this in the same vein as “Be Intriguing. Be Memorable.” in the hopes of encouraging you to keep your core approach to women simple. This article is about how we need to allow a girl space to show interest without overreacting.

By not trying to take advantage of every opportunity and spring into motion the moment she shows a flash of interest, we not only communicate a lack of desperation but we give a girl the space she needs to expand on her already present good feelings naturally (without effort or thought).

downplay interest

If you give her space to feel her attraction, then the seeds you plant, no matter how small, will come across clearly. A clear and simple approach allows precision, consistency, adaption, and also abides by the Law of Least Effort.

3 Quirky but Great Places to Find Girls

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By: Cody Lyans

When you start having more conversations with women you start to learn what girls look for and how they identify those things.

By talking with girls frequently and having their trust sexually you start to hear about how they think while at the gym, or while at the beach, or traveling, and after this it becomes more and more clear that our fears of approaching in these places are misguided.

places to find girls

I was having some discussions recently about a few of these weird places, and you should know that girls are happier to meet guys than you would think at them.

Women are actively looking and positioning themselves in the best spots they can, so if you see a girl somewhere quirky and your first instinct is fear and to hide away, just stop for a moment. Girls usually go to these places because they really don’t want to go anywhere else to meet guys. So take the fact that she showed up where you are as a good sign, because on some level girls understand that if two cute people cross paths they just might spark up a conversation.

And so long as you follow a few dos and don’ts correctly, you should do well in these situations. Also, keep in mind that the fact that she showed up is a sign that she thinks “guys here might be okay!”

We as guys get nervous, but girls like that because it weeds out 90% of the guys who never think far enough ahead or never find the motivation to follow through.

The simple act of meeting a girl in quirky places can cause her to think great things about you. It might sound crazy, but as much as these places can be scary, the scariness is matched by their level of opportunity.

So buckle up, because meeting girls in unusual settings often means you are in for a different ride and it may just accelerate your learning curve, as girls assume the best rather than shooting you down.

Lowering Expectations, Then Shattering Them

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By: Cody Lyans

We are born into a world that doesn’t expect much out of us. Just be average, fit in, blend with the crowd, and you will be all right. This is fine if you want to be an average Joe with an average Jane by his side living an average life, but it is not so fine if you want more than this.

Yet you may have a tough time breaking out of the “mold” these low expectations place you in. From an early age we are all trained to expect average things of ourselves. Lifting one’s sights to see what is truly achievable takes work.

low expectations

Having low expectations placed on you sucks.

However, when you are a kid there is nothing you can do about it except “grow up”, so you end up agonizing on this desire to change during what should be one of the most care free periods of your life.

We get crammed into school systems, graded like we must perform a service adequately, and pushed into the social confines of routine. We are left to drift away into obscurity until we grow up, and at that point it seems too late to change anything. The system that supposedly is meant to make us match expectations instead lulls us away from the best ways to exceed them.

Another Bad Night? Don’t Get Washed Out – Change It

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By: Cody Lyans

Have you ever just had a bad night?

One of those nights where everything you want to happen just doesn’t materialize, and as a result you get pulled into this space where everything you do is some how miscalculated and wrong?

One of those nights where afterwards you shake your head and feel like “What the hell was that!?”

bad night

Well, I have good news: it gets better, and the better you get the more you avoid these nights.

There are things you pick up along your journey that help you avoid getting washed out like this, and I thought I’d share some things I’ve noticed to help you avoid some of the discomfort when things aren’t going all that well.