Are You Giving Her Sex or Trading for It?

In the article on using astrology with girls, 340Breeze had a solid comment with an interesting part that I’ll quote in part here (because it’s pretty long):

“Ultimately my question is: when interacting with a woman on a FIRST ‘date’ what is the BEST step by step process where the interaction with a woman ends essentially with the following proposal being issued to the woman: “I’m willing to give you A, but ONLY if you give me B?” where A = (what women value: dominance, sex and orgasms, scintillating conversation, active listening, etc) and B = (all the sex I can stand)? This proposal should be made on EVERY date, but the problem I face is, I don’t always know how to do it in a socially savvy and SMOOTH way on EVERY woman I take out. Because of this lack of finesse, I get nervous (mainly with the less sexually confident women) and hesitate, not because I’m afraid of her saying no, but because I’m afraid of my lack of finesse. This is illogical because who cares if some girl gets offended by my request, but my subconscious mind is fearful because it wants me to be as SMOOTH and subtle as possible. But at the end of the day, if she’s not giving up the vj and FAST then what’s the point in speaking to her?? I want to communicate to women that if they don’t give me sex FAST then I’m uninterested. I could just come out and say it explicitly, but maybe there’s a better way?”

There’s a core worldview here that I think is pretty important to address, because it’s one that I see a lot of guys having, particularly when they’re newer, but even plenty of intermediate and a few advanced guys, too.

That world view is the “sex as trade” world view, where the man offers the woman things she values, and in return the woman provides the man with sex.

And to be fair, this isn’t an “incorrect” way of looking at things – it’s as valid as the next perspective. There are men who use this perspective in effective, elegant, and consistent ways. However, there is another perspective, and it is one that, in my opinion, makes intimacy with women a much easier and less daunting thing to pursue and get.

This perspective is not thinking of sex as something you receive from a woman in exchange for things you give her, but rather, something that you give her... in exchange for her meeting your requirements.