How Being on Your Smartphone Can Attract Women

Busy, waiting, or boxed in? If done right, being on your smartphone can be a powerful tool to intrigue and attract women.

A common target of social criticism these days is our obsession with phones. You’ve seen those trite, hipster videos about how all we do is stare at our screens, how we live in a fast-paced, consumerist society, which has caused us to lose touch with in-person communication, leading to our lacking social skills.

I don’t buy it. For a while, I did. It makes sense. We do live in a disposable society that throws things away when they’re no longer needed. Chase elegantly pointed that out in his article on how some guys feel like disposable dicks-on-sticks.

However, he also pointed out how this disposability goes both ways, affecting women, too.

There’s always a flip-side.

The flip-side to our phone-obsessed culture is the ease and convenience it brings. Not only can you line up multiple girls at the same time in a matter of minutes, grab a few dates on a dating app, read amazing dating advice (like the thousands of articles here on Girls Chase) anywhere you want, and communicate with a practically infinite number of people at any time – which actually boosts your social skills – you can also use your phone to blend in during social situations.

When I was still concerned about widespread phone obsession, I also used to be bothered by people who were on their phones during social functions – concerts, parties, dates, hangouts, and nights out at clubs and bars.

There is an obvious downside to it – people don’t pay attention to each other and aren’t forced to communicate, because they can escape.

However, there’s an upside – sometimes the environment around you is dreadfully boring. Sometimes the people your friends introduce to you turn out to be totally annoying. Other times, whether at a bar or a club, there’s no one you’re interested in approaching. Not yet, anyway.

I’m a social guy, but I have introverted tendencies. I also don’t like talking to other guys much anymore. Most guys, in my experience, will be boring at best, annoyingly competitive at worst – even if they’re pretending to be your friend. They’ll often try to status-jockey and tool you.

That leaves the women. I much prefer the company of women, but even they can be annoying from time to time, and my tastes and knowledge of who to approach and when has evolved.

Perhaps if I’m completely honest with myself, I’ve become too picky or selective with who I approach, and I will do some random approaches to shake myself from the pretense that I’m some sort of guru with an ego so big I don’t have to try anymore, which I also dislike.

However, not every moment is opportune for approaching, and if you’re in between approaches and prefer not to be social with guys or girls around you, then what do you do?

A good tactic is to simply sink into your environment. Enjoy the ambience. Watch people. Observe the lights. Smile and be happy that you’re alive. All that Instagram-worthy stuff. It’s good, yes.

But other times, the world on your phone might be more interesting. If all reality is an illusion, which I maintain it is, then how is the fantasy world of your phone any less of an illusion? False is false, right?

Pick the illusion you like best, I say.

But here’s the kicker: getting your phone out can also be a smart social tactic.

Okay, Hector, go on....

Everyone Does It, So It’s Normal

Well, if everyone does it, it’s accepted. If it’s accepted, it’s looked upon neutrally or positively. Anti-social behavior can be attractive if it’s successful, but a large part of social success is blending in while also being different enough that you’re not just another guy on his phone.

Follow basic social cues, be ambitious and edgy enough to draw lust, and then know how to close – that’s seduction boiled down, among many other simplifications.

Not everyone does it right, but because so many people spend so much time on their phones, you’re not doing anything weird or out of place.

Nothing odd about this anymore.

Busy Is Hot

Busy men are attractive. What could you be doing on your phone? Scrolling through some nerdy sub-Reddit or texting your harem? Are you setting up a business deal while you drink a beer?

You’ll find yourself getting the most approach invitations and signs of interest from women when you’re not paying attention. The trick is learning how to spot them and respond quickly, to see them through your peripheral vision – or with the eyes in the back of your head. So I’m not saying to leave the world and disappear on your phone, but rather to maintain high awareness and use your phone simply as an attraction tool.

How absorbed you seem in what’s on your phone is important, which brings us to....

What Should You Do While on Your Phone?

I suggest doing what interests you or something high-value.

Politics interests me. Video games interest me. Hot girls interest me. Also, mystical philosophy. I usually browse websites, Reddit, and Instagram feeds that provide related content.

High-value browsing involves texting other women and friends, and learning about or working on your business/passion – e.g., confirming a business call or writing down notes for a story.

When Should You Do It?

If there are women around who interest you, don’t pull out your phone as an excuse to not approach them. However, if your surroundings bore you or you’re not in a great position to approach – i.e., the girl you like is seated far away from anywhere you can approach, or she seems engrossed in a conversation and approaching would be uncalibrated – feel free to whip it out. Your phone, I mean.

Time to pull out the hardware.

Also, if you are in a conversation or a group where you want to turn attention away from yourself – e.g., someone is annoying you – then pulling out your phone is a smooth but clear message, saying this is more important than you. Most people will get the message and pull attention away from you.

The opposite is also true. If you pull your attention away from a group or person, you might also gain more of their attention. Aloofness, in healthy doses, intrigues people. That’s why it’s best used as a pre-open strategy, much like peacocking.

Also, if you don’t know what else to do – but you aren’t dealing with approach anxiety and don’t need to practice or warm up – then being on your phone can make you seem relaxed. If you’ve spent a lot of time going out, you know that it isn’t always a busy activity. There’s a lot of waiting involved.

Nobody really talks about this aspect of nights out. The waiting. Waiting for the bar to fill. Waiting for more attractive women to enter. Waiting for the right time to say hello to the girl over there.

Talking can be exhausting, so you can’t be doing it the entire time. Approaching too much is also tiring, even for the advanced veterans with thick skin. We only have so much energy.

I like to wait now. As I age, I become more patient. At least with approaching, I’m very patient. I know I can approach anytime, because I’ve proved to myself that I can overcome anxiety almost every time.

While I’m waiting, I should at least make it look attractive. Everyone is busy looking at themselves, yes – but they are also looking at you.

It’s attractive to be comfortable when not doing anything but staring at the ceiling or looking around at the crowd. If you can’t pull that off, then practice doing nothing in bars and clubs. Immerse and familiarize yourself with these environments until they seem like just another place with people, where there’s no pressure to act a certain way.

If you are comfortable either way and aren’t in the mood to meditate or contemplate, then busy yourself with either mindless fun or something ambitious.

How You Do It Matters

Pay attention to the way you look while you play with your phone. Is it obvious you have nothing else to do, or are you choosing to do this over talking to other people? These do look like different activities from an observer’s perspective. It’s obviously a better strategy to be engrossed in your phone, but it can be faked if needed.

Be focused and scan the screen intently. If you’re going for the fun look, lean back in your chair or against the wall and occasionally smile at the screen.

Occasionally, give the room around you a slow scan and see if any eyes are on you or if some girls have magically moved closer to you since the last time you looked.

The trick is awareness.

If you are aware of how you’re coming off to others and aware of what they’re doing, but also don’t look overly concerned with either, you’re in a powerful position. You are someone who knows what he’s doing but is choosing not to do anything.

A boulder on the edge of a cliff doesn’t have any kinetic energy, since it’s not moving – but give it a nudge, and it’s a powerful force. That latent energy is scientifically termed potential energy.

A woman watches you standing in a corner by yourself. You’re dressed nice, you seem calm, but you’re not focused on anything in particular. Then, you reach in your pocket and pull out your phone.

“What’s he checking?” she thinks to herself.

Is it a girl? Is it a friend?

Stories will flutter in her mind. Women are imaginative creatures. The more they think about you, the more they want you.

You continue to look at your phone and smile. You press a few buttons and scroll.

“Oh, it must be a girl. A guy like that? Smiling like that?”

Your eyes change. You stop, and a look crosses your face – that paused look that people have when they know something is happening or someone is watching them. You glance up at her.

Your smooth interactions with your phone got her mind all aflutter.

She stares at you for a second, eyes wide with surprise. She looks down and back at her friends.

But you know – and she knows.

You return to your phone for a minute, then put it away. You glance back at her. She’s still talking to her friends but doesn’t seem too busy.

You take one last look around, then walk towards her.

“Hey.”

She turns.

“Hey.”

“I love your dress.”

“Thank you.”

“What’s your name?”

“Alexandra. And you?”

“The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

Hector