To lead a girl through a seduction, you need to hit two (2) key
points: emotions and logistics. Lead well on these, and the girl is
yours.
Last time, in my article on letting her feel allowed to desire you, we discussed two aspects of mental states related to seduction – namely, building her desire for you and letting her feel allowed to desire you. The first one covered the actual induction of a state of attraction whereas letting her feel allowed puts her in a mental state where she opens up to your influence. Both are equally important in seduction.
Today we will observe seduction in a different framework. Mind you that what we will cover in this post is NOT a different way of doing things, just a different way of looking at seduction.
Contents
1. What Leading is in Seduction
2. How to Lead Her Emotionally
This framework might actually explain different key aspects of seduction, as you will see. Again, these frameworks or models are just used as a way to explain “what is” (the actual seduction process).
What we will discuss today are the “leading emotionally” dimension and the “leading logistically” dimension. Both dimensions are key aspects of seduction that should not be disregarded. They can both take place simultaneously in space and time – i.e., you can both lead emotionally and logistically at the same time.
You probably already have an idea about what “leading” means in terms of seduction, but allow me to expand the concept a little. Also keep in mind that in my report from Bulgaria I also share some real life examples in which the framework covered in this post is applied.
What Leading is in Seduction
Being men, it is often said that it is our role to make things happen, especially when it comes to the mating process. As a result of being the “dominant” sex, we have the duty to make the approach her, engage her, and make the sex happen.
Whether this is due to socialization or biology is kind of unclear; however, it would be wise to say that there are biological grounds for this that have probably been amplified by culture. Whatever the causes and underlying principles, the answer remains the same: it is our duty to lead.
It is our duty to lead, but women also like to be led – being “dragged out of their world” and swept away by a sexy dominant man is a woman’s dream. By dominant, I am not referring to the stereotypical “macho” guy, who occasionally might be a bit possessive toward his girl. This stereotype is rather negative, and in modern culture (at least in the western world) the term “dominant” tends to trigger certain negative connotations.
Being dominant is first and foremost defined by a man’s ability to lead. Being able to lead smoothly will make you come across as a smooth, dominant man – the right type of dominant man. This post is about giving you a guideline on how to be that dominant guy. As mentioned earlier, there are two dimensions to this. Let us begin with the first one.
How to Lead Her Emotionally
We will start with the “lead her emotionally” part. This is very related to the concepts we discussed in my previous post. But instead of focusing on the what, we here focus on the progression. Emotionally leading is all about creating a progression in her mental state from “social” into “sexual.” In most encounters, the vibe between you and the girl will be rather social – although you occasionally will bump into ovulating women and freaky libertines, but in most cases you will have to guide the vibe into a more sexual one. Many have labeled this “escalate the vibe.”
Here are the steps:
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Calibrate to her initial vibe – get “grounded”
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Escalate the vibe
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If her response is negative, then either slow down or take a huge step back (depending on her response) and wait a bit before proceeding
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If her response is positive, then push things forward. Sometimes you get a green light from the get-go. Gosh, I love these encounters
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Seal the deal
Stop gaming when you see this and go for the pull.
The idea here is to transition her from a social vibe to a sexual one in a smooth way that feels not only natural but also comfortable to her.
So, what tools can one use to escalate the vibe and lead her emotionally?
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Escalation – as in physical non-verbal
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Verbal escalation – sex talk or sexual lines
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Humor, cocky lines, teasing – stuff that generally stimulates her mentally (and emotionally)
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Chase frames – displaying mixed signals can trigger strong attraction
But also things such as:
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Emotional connection building – deep diving
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Comfort building – things like “caressing” and hand holding
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Rapport building – for example, “us vs. them” frame, etc.
Occasionally you will deal with some difficulties, in which case you just take a step back, deal with the difficulty at hand, and get back to business.
Some examples of resistance and other “blockers” – and how to deal with them:
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Resistance – in this case, you might want to isolate her, reframe sex as natural and not a big deal, display low-keyness, and eventually persist
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Cockblocking from friends – take a step back, go back into a more inclusive social vibe (fractionate out), befriend her friends, and then go back and try to isolate. When that is done, get back to business and get sexual again (fractionate back in)
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Her mood has changed – take a huge step back, try to move her around a bit (in order to “reset things”) and re-escalate
We can see that the aspect of “building her desire for you” is more or less the actual tool to push things forward… as you escalate the vibe, whereas whenever you face resistance, you need to focus on “letting her feel allowed to desire you.” Both are equally important to leading. The first one actually pushes things forward; the other one works more as the lube, making sure “things” actually pass through.
Let us now discuss how you can lead her logistically.
How to Lead Her Logistically
Logistics, one of the most boring yet most important topics of seduction…
Many beginners make the mistake of believing that all you have to do is make her attracted and all hot and horny, and sex will take place. Well, sure, it can, and I have written a post about exactly that (pulling without logistics); however, 95% of the time it doesn’t happen that way.
Logistics covers all the “external” aspects of the seduction. For example, the situation/scenario in which the seduction takes place: the surroundings, the means used to go from one location to another, etc.
For example, logistics covers…
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Where to meet up (and when)
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Where to isolate (and be more seductive)
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Where to pull her (your place or her place – or maybe an afterparty)
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Booze? Food? Smoke?
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Is she with an annoying dude? How can you get rid of him (or get her away from him)?
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Are her friends in the way (how can you get her away)?
Handling logistics is all about “manipulating” the surroundings in which the seduction is taking place and leading her from location to location.
If I allow myself to theorize... I believe many guys disregard the logistical aspect because, before they got into seduction, hook ups and sex happened for them “accidently” – i.e., they got lucky. This means they also got lucky in terms of logistics. When guys who are new to this material tell a success story, they rarely talk about the logistical details. Do you really look back on your earlier pulls and think, “Oh, so I managed to isolate her from her friends, had my obligatory $20 for a taxi… and also booze and smokes sorted at my place” or “Yes, we met up at this afterparty, and since the bedroom was free – sex took place.”
I guess this is not really the thing you remember, but rather the amazing vibe you two had… and I don’t blame you. Logistics is the necessary yet “not so sexy” part of seduction.
But now you will start thinking more in terms of logistics, and if you are curious about this, I have written numerous posts on the subject.
Logistical leading is all about leading her seamlessly through logistics. Most girls you meet will be “in the wild” – be it a club, street, bar, coffee shop, library… and most of these places are not fit for sex. Some of them are not even fit for intimate conversation or more “heavy” sexualization.
You’re not going to shag her outside the clothing store no matter
how great a thrill seeker she is.
You therefore need to lead her from one place to another, from the meet-up location to, say, an isolated spot before you eventually walk to another place, or jump into a cab or a bus or rickshaw or whatever, and lead her to the seduction location.
This is key because if you fail at logistics, you might not get laid… it is as simple as that. You need to be the man with the plan. If she senses you have no idea what to do, she will question your leadership. Remember in the beginning of this post, where we mentioned that women like dominant males? Well, a dominant male by whom she wants to be led is confident and knows what he is doing. This is why it is so key to be in control over your logistics.
Sure, occasionally things do not go according to plan, and wildcards occur. Happens all the time, especially if you are into night game (clubs and bars), but being good with logistics means you are able to handle those situations in a cool and relaxed manner – without displaying any insecurities.
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Have a backup plan (or backup plans)
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Be able to improvise on the spot
Of course, logistics is something that you get better at with experience, but if you haven’t started paying attention to it yet, you better read my posts about it. Nothing sucks more than losing a lay to bad logistics.
So there you have it: logistical leading – the art of leading her from scenario to scenario, and from location to location.
Let us now discuss if there is a synergy between emotional leading and logistical leading.
Are the Two Forms of Leading Related?
Yes, both forms of leading are interrelated. They affect each other. With this, I mean that whenever you score some positive points on, say, emotional leading, logistical leading becomes easier. The reverse is also true. Allow me to give you a few examples:
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If she is all hot and horny (you’ve done your emotional leading – under the building her desire for you category), it will then be easier for you to pull her (logistical leading) back to your place.
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After you have managed to isolate her away from her friends (logistically leading – letting her feel allowed), it will be easier to lead her emotionally – and escalate physically.
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Let us assume you have built a good connection, and some strong rapport is present… (emotional leading – letting her feel allowed), it will thus be easier to escalate things sexually (emotional leading – building her desire for you) and pull her back to your place (logistical leading).
You can clearly see in those examples that they are interrelated. I also included concepts from my previous post in order to give you a better picture on how all of this fits together.
Anyway, this was all I had to say for today. Let us now recap. Again, I really recommend you reread the report linked in the beginning of this post so you can get a clear idea of how this is applied in-field.
Leading Seductions: A Recap
Leading is attractive. Leading is also what makes “things” (as in sex) happen. Being able to lead her will not only increase your odds of sex actually happening, but you will also score some points on attractiveness, as smooth leaders are perceived as dominant. Dominant men are attractive to women, pure and simple.
It is key that you lead her both emotionally and logistically.
Emotional leading is all about leading her through the emotional process, from a social vibe all the way to the point of no return, where she cannot wait to have you inside her.
Now, very rarely will you meet a girl at the ideal seduction location – most often it will be out “in the wild.” You will from there have to lead her logistically (typically your place or her place).
Both forms of leading are equally important. Once you get a clear understanding of them, in addition to the concepts in my last post, I am confident that seduction will make more sense to you.
If you have any questions or comments, you know where to post them.
Happy hunting.
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