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Women are vexing creatures, aren’t they?
Men often find aspects of basic female nature completely perplexing. Women, for their part, often find many aspects of basic male nature an utter bore.
I talked about the multi-layered aspects of what
women want before; today I’m going to talk about why exactly
they make it so indecipherable what they want in any one moment for men
(and frequently themselves).
Have you ever watched a man who is good with women? You’ll notice women do all kinds of womanly things around him that would make most men boil, while he just laughs.
How can such a man be so nonplussed around the madness that is woman?
We see men commenting on Girls Chase about this often. A guy comes on and rages about how women don’t make any sense and men shouldn’t have to change one lick for them. Shades of the good old fashioned “just be yourself and everything will work out fine” argument which took over popular thought sometime in the 20th century with its ineffectual pseudo-intellectual quips.
There is one element you see again and again that drives men to tear their hair out in patches though, and that’s this: women change their minds like monsoon season weather. One minute it’s pounding sheets of rain, and the next minute the sun’s out bright with nary a cloud in sight.
Most men do not understand this... while the men who are good with women just smile and laugh. “Girls are silly and cute,” such men say.
You may know this mentality is better intellectually, but perhaps you still find yourself bugged by women’s behavior emotionally. Happens to lots of guys.
With regard to the man irritated by women’s behavior, and the man at
peace with it:
How can these two men have such totally different views on women – and what’s really going on in women’s heads that make them so darn flakey?
Comments
Re: Indecision
Rogue-
That's a great illustrative example, yeah.
Adds another wrinkle, too: as you get women in larger and larger all- or mostly-female groups, the inconstancy magnifies.
Plop a woman into a group of mostly men, and she'll largely conform to male behavior, and be only slightly fickle / flighty. Keep the group evenly spread out, half men, half women, all interspersed, and the girls are a little bad, but not too much.
Throw a bunch of women together and it's just terrible.
Another example along the lines of the all-woman table is large girl groups in nightclubs. Also extremely distracted, extremely fickle... it's another reason why groups of two girls or girls there by themselves are nearly always superior prospects: they're just not as flighty.
Sorry to hear about the job. Paying your dues in customer service does have its perks, though; it makes you a lot more sensitive to what people want and how people work, which can be an asset for you in all kinds of other industries (like teaching, sales, or marketing, for instance).
Chase
A Strong Urge
Fantastic article, Chase, your work never disappoints.
I am at a very pivotal point in my life Chase, I'm off a few months from reaching 18 years of age. I feel a strong urge of knowing it all, all about women, all about life, all about success... it really stresses me when I know I don't possess the knowledge (yet) for a successful happy life. It's like I don't know where my life is heading, I haven't explored my future thoroughly, I don't know where and how to start with life (should i just sit and see where it takes me?)... my fundamentals are great with women, but when i start talking i suddenly lose all the 'hotness'. Please help me, I have followed girlschase since i was 14, though i am still having a hard time trying to 'figure out life', as funny as it sounds.
Keep up your tremendous work.
Hotness Drop
Franz-
No fun, I know, but that's pretty common when you're still inexperienced with approaching. Used to happen to me too... you get really good at posing and posturing and creating that nonverbal vibe, but as soon as you open your mouth you're all thumbs, and you can watch the intrigue you'd created nonverbally up and vanish almost instantly.
No shortcuts around this, unfortunately; the only thing here is approaching enough and sparking enough new conversations that you get comfortable talking to people/girls and the "air" you create with your fundamentals is not disrupted.
Another change you can make: dial down your focus so much on fundamentals and focus more on game. This was another one for me, in maybe 2007 or 2008... I realized no matter how much I stood around and looked pretty, it didn't really matter because it didn't get me anywhere with girls. So I just quit focusing on it and focused on approaching instead.
Eventually you can come back to it and go chill at the bar and let cute girls gravitate towards you, then smoothly turn and open them, but when you've still got your approach training wheels on, it's often better to set aside too much focus on nonverbal fundamentals once you have them down reasonably well and refocus yourself on approaching, opening, and running a conversation.
Chase
Thank You
Chase-
I must thank you for your word of insight, it is a great honor to get advice from the creator of GirlsChase. I will do what you said, since my fundamentals are good enough, i will now focus more on approaching. And regarding life concerns, is it better to plan life carefully or 'sit and see where it takes me'?
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