She Wants to Submit

If you want a shortcut for understanding women instead of ripping your hair out at the roots because women don’t make any sense, think about a woman this way: she wants to submit.

Men know this, of course. But most men are not thinking about it correctly, as evidenced by the various complaints by men about women’s behavior on my old article “When Women Test Men.”

See, most guys are thinking about things like men do, which is in a rational problem-solving type way.

They look about themselves and see lonely women. And they see themselves – also lonely. Well, why don’t women just submit to them? Then both of their problems would be solved! The man would have the woman, and the woman would have the man.

The fact that women don’t do this is, to them, proof that women’s reasoning is flawed.

I mean, ask a woman to explain this, and really nail her down on it, and she can’t.

There, see? Irrational. Doesn’t make sense.

But it does make sense when you realize she cannot submit completely willingly to a man; she is not programmed that way. Even if she rationally wanted to submit to you because you have such well-reasoned qualities and stats, she cannot.

Why not, you ask?

Because women do not want to and cannot submit fully willingly under their own power.

You must make them submit.

A Lovely Violence

At the barest of most stripped down definitions, who to any single woman is the most dominant man on the planet?

Is it:

• The man with the largest muscles?
• The man with the biggest bank account?
• The man with the highest notch count on his bedpost?
• The man who can defeat any other man in single combat?
  

No. None of these.

It is the man who makes her submit.

Dating and romance and seduction and relationships, whether you are 12 years old or 102 years old, the woman wants the man who makes her submit.

She cannot control whom she submits to. Not entirely.

She can control this to the degree that she controls her exposure to various men:

• She decides whether to drink and go clubbing
• She decides whether to climb the ranks as a professional woman
• She decides whether to join a sorority in her university years
• She decides what friends she’ll spend time with after hours
  

She selects her environment, if she is conscious, or she is pulled into one by her whims and her surroundings, if she is less conscious, and from that environment she encounters a variety of men, some of whom will make her submit to them.

These men she submits to – because they make her – she will mate with, supposing they do everything else correctly. Of course, most men fumble their ways through things with most women, or even if no mistakes are made, life often intervenes regardless; which means that even if a man makes a woman submit to him momentarily, she will often wrest free, and then that, as they say, is that.

This is where many bitter men come from; they were able to make women submit to them momentarily, but then – whether it happened before they ever slept with her, or 20 years in at the tail end of a crumbling marriage – at some point, they were no longer able to cause her to submit, and she broke free.

But love is a lovely violence. It is a struggle. A struggle between a woman who wants to be free, and a man who wants her to submit.

Oh, sure; you are a modern, progressive man. You do not want to control a woman. In fact, you would be happier if she would run her own life, and the two of you could have a strictly casual relationship.

Yet, every ounce of sexual attraction she feels toward you is due to you making her submit. And the moment you no longer do this, her attraction vanishes, and soon so does she.

All Tests are Mere Invitations

As I discussed in the article on testing – and as J.J. talked about in his article on women testing for dominant males – tests are used to find men who are mate-worthy.

Nevertheless, this definition is still slightly ambiguous. Who is that dominant male? There are many men you might consider “dominant”, but whom a woman is not sleeping with and will not sleep with.

You might consider yourself far more dominant than her boyfriend, for instance. Yet, she continues sleeping with him, and not with you. Why?

The answer is simply because he made her submit, and you did not.

Conversely, unless you’re on the paranoid side or you’re dating a girl who’s significantly less invested in the relationship than you are, you probably don’t worry about your woman being picked up while she’s at work or walking down the street.

Doubtless there are men more dominant than you out there. No matter how dominant you are. Some man she crosses paths with throughout her day has you beat.

Yet, she does not accompany him off into the bushes for an illicit liaison. Why not?

Because she does not give him the opportunity to make her submit.

Why do men get so jealous and switch their mate-guarding into high gear when their girlfriends are:

• Dressed flashy and shaking their bottoms and smiling with strange men on the nightclub dance floor?

• Heading out for a one-on-one study session with their (platonic, they swear) male ‘friend’?

• Spending a little too much time in the office after hours working closely with their attractive bosses?

It’s because these men realize that in these cases, in these environments, women will begin doing what women do around prospective mates and begin throwing up tests and resistance.

And these tests and this resistance serve two (2) and only two purposes:

• To keep the men who cannot make them submit OUT
• To invite the men who CAN make them submit IN
  

Likewise, women become equally jealous and mate-guard-y when their men put themselves in such situations, because they know their men are facing the tests and resistance of the women they are interacting with. And if they are successful in making those women submit, they will become just as aroused by the women who submit to them as these women are by the men who make them submit.

A test is but an invitation.

This invitation reads, “Make me submit... if you have the ability to.”

When is She “Yours”?

So when has a woman submitted to you in totality?

Never.

I’ve had multi-year relationships where I have put in great effort to condition girlfriends not to cause drama using standard operant conditioning by denying them sex after drama.

Yet, the drama keeps coming. Not as strong as it does for the men who reward drama with hot sex, but the tap never completely shuts off.

Because, after all, what is drama in a relationship actually about?

Is it actually about the issue?

To an extent, it may be.

But what it is usually really about is not the issue, but about submission and sex.

Women will give you the most drama right as they reach peak fertility, when they are ovulating. But why?

Simple: ovulation is when a woman may become pregnant, and she is giving you the opportunity to make her submit to you in a fight, after which she will submit to you sexually.

If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you know the drill very well:

• She picks a fight
• You win the fight
• She becomes super feminine and affectionate
• Hot makeup sex that’s just about the most passionate sex you’ll have ensues
  

What is the function of this? Biologically, what’s going on?

She’s giving you an opportunity to make her submit. When you do (assuming you are the type of guy who does not respond to women fighting, nagging, and complaining in a relationship by merely submitting or whining back... which admittedly seems to be what most guys do), when you do make her submit, she turns from lioness to kitten.

It’s the same effect we discussed in “How to Tell if a Girl is Horny Without Her Having to Tell You”: horny women are mean women, especially if they were hoping they were going to get laid sooner and didn’t.

Whether she’s single and cruising for a new man in the nightclub, or she’s your wife of 10 years, it works exactly the same: if she’s hurting for it, and not getting it, she starts throwing up increasingly blatant tests and increasingly louder bitchiness and resistance, as if to put up a sign and say, “Come on, dominant men! Reveal yourselves, and make me submit! I want to submit! But I cannot do it on my own... you must make me.”

If You’re Mad at Her...

On the Internet, most men who talk about women seem angry.

When you meet them in real life, they’re mostly just frustrated and confused.

They cannot understand why if she is hurting for it so bad she doesn’t simply act NICE and BE submissive on her own!

She can’t be. She isn’t programmed that way. Even when I’ve had years with them in a relationship, I can only get women to be nice as a way of getting sex some of the time. If too much time goes by and they haven’t gotten their needs met, they turn moody, bitchy, and test-happy.

The thing to understand about women is this: a woman cannot choose WHO she submits to.

The only things she can control is what environments she places herself into – especially when she is most desiring a partner – and how close she lets men get to her.

Here’s the thing to keep in mind if you are angry or frustrated at women for doing this:

1. Every woman tests at a different level. A woman who is very conservative or a woman who is very picky or even a woman who is very horny will test you much harder than a woman who is much more liberal with her sexuality, or not nearly as picky, or not nearly as horny.

2. She cannot control whom she submits to. If you lack the fundamentals, game, and/or experience levels to make her submit all the way to physical intimacy, you will not get her. She does not owe you a thing; the woman’s job in the mating dance is to resist; the man’s job is to make her submit. If you cannot make her submit, then either level up your skills or find a woman your skills are sufficient for.

3. Even if she WANTS to submit for you, if you can’t MAKE her submit, she won’t. Ever hear those girls saying things to their nice guy pals in the friend zone about how they just wish they could date him, but it wouldn’t work? This is them stating that logically, they believe he would make a good mate choice... however, emotionally, he is unable to make them submit. Logic is not enough for anyone – not even you (imagine trying to date a woman you knew was a logical good choice for you but toward whom you felt zero sexual attraction). Logic is only half of the equation for her. The other half? Submission.
   

I’m not going to go into a detailed denouncement of forcible rape or punching a girl’s lights out as not the sort of submission we are talking about here, because I trust that no one reading a wordy article this far in is retarded enough to think we’re talking about the same things here. While these things are on the continuum of submission, they are so far to the one side that their effects on the women who experience them are wholly destructive, and that is exactly why they are so heavily demonized and severely punished by nearly every society out there.

The aim in submission is lovely violence, not horrible violence.

Let’s wrap up with a brief overview of what kinds of things constitute your tools for making the women you talk to, sleep with, and date submit to you... willingly, lustily, and with great big smiles on their faces.

How to Make Her Submit

The path to submission is a clear one, and it is all of these:

1. Pass her tests. All the things that a woman does to test you – and see one of the articles on testing if you need a refresher; they’re linked again below – whenever you pass these, you cause her to fall further into submission. Conversely, when you fail to pass them, she cools off towards you, fast.
   

• When Women Test Men
• Why Do Women Test? To Find Dominant Males
• Do You Really Need to Learn Game to Get Girls?

2. Hold your frame. This is related but slightly separate from the last point. When your frame and hers clash, yours must prevail. This is basic frame control – her frame must submit to yours, otherwise how can she submit to you? Note that a frame battle is not always a “test”; oftentimes it is simply two people with legitimately different ways of seeing the world. However, the outcome of winning or losing a frame battle is effectively no different from passing or failing a test. See the articles below for more.

• Get Rock-Solid Frame Control with the Women You Like Guaranteed
• Tactics Tuesdays: Staying Unfazed (When Girls Try to Faze You)
  
• Frame Control Examples: Out-Frame Anyone
  

3. Lose no fights. There are a variety of ways to win fights in a relationship or even out of it (if for some reason you get in a fight with a girl you aren’t sleeping with yet... but really, you do not want to be getting into jousting matches with women you’ve yet to bed). The important thing is that you do not lose. Emotional arguments with women are night-and-day different from calm discussions; before you can rationally consider the point she is making, first you must win the fight and make her submit. A few articles on this:
   

• Women and Drama
• End Relationship Drama with These 2 Rules
• Operant Conditioning in Your Romantic Relationships
• Beating Your Girlfriend at Her Own Blame Game
  

There’s a possible fourth step in there (lead, and make happen), but that’s more executing on the submission than causing the submission itself, so I won’t discuss here. But obviously, if she submits and you take no action, escalation windows close, attraction expires, and you are not likely to get another chance (presuming we’re talking about a girl you aren’t already seeing).

Just keep it in mind: she cannot control whom she submits to.

She may want to submit to you. She may not want to submit to you. These things only matter regarding how easy or hard she makes it for you.

You can still muck it up with a girl who makes it easy for you because she wants to submit to you if you are unable to make her submit; you will turn her off and make her lose all interest.

Alternately, you can sometimes sleep with girls who have very little interest in you if you are able to make them submit despite the mountains of tough resistance they may give you and the ridiculous tests they may throw your way.

Above all, stop thinking of women as “rationally selecting” the men they are going to date. That is not how women work. While women will sometimes allow men to sleep with them they have not submitted to, they usually realize quite quickly that they do not enjoy this and cease doing it.

Additionally, lack of continuing ability to make her submit is the cause of the decline of in all long-term relationships that end with the woman leaving the man in boredom or disgust; the man has ceased making the woman submit to him, and as such her attraction for him ceases.

Think of the dance of seduction as this lovely violence of resistance and submission, and you will be fine. It might feel like a chore to do when you have not yet learned the skills, but once you have, it is the easiest and most natural thing in the world to make the women around you submit to you.

So, develop the skills and learn the abilities. If she likes you, she wants to submit to you.

However, she cannot do it on her own. You must make her. She can only do it in resistance to you.

Yours,
Chase Amante