Tactics Tuesdays: How to Handle a Bad Night at the Bar

Have a bad night at the bar and you may want to give up and go home. But it’s not over just because you’re off to a bad start.

Every time you step outside your door, you enter a world filled with different, random, unknown others. Some of those others will be delighted to meet you. Some will be indifferent to you. Some will be rude, dismissive, or flat-out hostile. And on any given outing, the proportions of each of these groups you meet will be somewhat random.

There are a variety of ways you can increase the odds you meet folks delighted to encounter you, and minimize the odds you meet folks who want nothing to do with you. Some of those ways include:

• Improving your fundamentals so you are by default a more attractive, appealing human being

• Tailoring yourself toward the types of girls (or people) you want to meet, so you are by default the sort of man your sort of woman wants to encounter (after all, like attracts like)

• Looking for signs of interest and approach invitations that alert you a woman wants you to say hi
  

• Building social momentum, often by being a naturally sociable guy, so you come across friendly and likeable, and people receive you more warmly

• Choosing to socialize in low competition environments, where women have lower walls to approach and are more open to conversation with strangers
  

Yet, you won’t always be able to implement all these items. Sometimes you may want to check out a new venue, or you reach a preferred venue on an off night and discover the crowd is different from usual. Suddenly, you’re not tailored to the girls present and the environment is not so low competition.

And regardless the steps you take, there is always that element of randomness in the people you meet. Sometimes you’ll go out and every girl you talk to wants nothing to do with you. Other times you’ll go out and the second or third (or even the first) girl you talk to is all over you and ends up going home with you.

Each time you’ll be inclined to think “it’s you.” When the girls reject you left and right: “I must be really off my game tonight,” or, “Did I dress in a weird way or something? Am I putting out a weird vibe?” And when girls are all over you: “Damn, I’m good!”

Yet much of the time it’s pure chance. It’s often dumb (bad) luck when you get that string of girls who reject you all in a row. And more dumb (this time, good) luck when one of the first girls you talk to is the one you take home.

Today, I’m going to give you some tools to employ when you hit bad luck any given night. This post assumes you go out and talk to various (i.e., more than two or three) people with an intent to find a girl to take a number from or to take home. If this is not your style, it still might be an interesting read; in that case, read it through, file it away, and pull it out should you ever find yourself emboldened to meet enough girls to find that one you click with and can take home.