There’s Always One Final Shit Test Before Sex

Women test men to ensure they aren’t with a loser or impostor. The final shit test before sex can be a real doozy, so make sure you’re not caught off guard.

I approached her on the street in the rain. She was a sexy young Asian girl who walked past quickly. I turned and caught up to her and opened. She smiled but said she was in a rush. I quickly asked if she was single; we had a quick one minute exchange, and I grabbed her number.

We texted in a flirty way, and she was pretty invested in the texting. I set up a date for the following week on a Tuesday (one of my standard dates). We went to an art gallery then walked over to have drinks. However, the vibe on this date felt different from most others. It was fast, and she was touching me often. At times, I got the sense that she was getting impatient when she started looking at her watch repeatedly. At this point, I hadn’t even gone through my sex talk stack yet; once I began to bring it up, she told me that most of her friends were gay men and she was super nonjudgmental.

Well, okay, neat.

She looked at her watch a third time and was quiet.

We had only met for an hour and change, but I figured what the hell; let’s try pulling anyway, and I went for it.

I just invited her home. “So I think I want to show you my art, and I have this really awesome beer you’ll love that I brought from Canada. We can sit on my rooftop and have drinks. Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you inviting me over to have sex with you?” She replied.

With a deadpan face, I said, “Yes.” And smiled.

Without stopping, she said “Okay” and started getting up to leave.

The moment we walked into my apartment building, I kissed her. It was on before we even got into my place.

I passed her shit test, and we screwed all night.