Ah, college – the land of ample, hassle-free social interactions and zero sexual inhibitions. For many men, there are very few times in their lives when they have so much sexual opportunity.
Yet, many of them don’t take full advantage of the number of hot college girls available to them. So today, I’m going to talk about how to up your game with these higher institution beauties, and take full advantage of the abundance that’s truly available to you.
Back in late 2006 and early 2007, I was on an invitation-only social networking site called Late Night Shots. It was a site that allowed those on the Washington, D.C. social scene to “see and be seen” by others – set up profiles, find out where everyone was gathering at, and the like. Sort of a private Facebook for the D.C. socialite crowd.
One of the more interesting features of LNS then was an anonymous message board where people could ask all sorts of dicey questions and give all manner of unbiased, unfiltered replies, since their answers were in no way tied to their profiles or real world identities.
I wasn’t terribly interested in the gossip section of those boards (”Who’s dating whom in the scene?” “What new girl has rocketed to the top of the scene the fastest?”), although it did make for good occasional reading on how different people evaluated social status competitors in the scene (and worked to build up their and others’ reputations, or tear others down through rumors). What interested me more were the various relationship topics that got posed and debated to death.
One of the most frequent of these was the question of “Do women’s pasts matter?”
While nearly all of the female commenters seemed to argue quite vehemently that they didn’t matter one bit, the male commenters were divided right down the middle in their positions: half that they did, half that they didn’t.
Among the half arguing that they didn’t, there was a further divide: the men who didn’t care about women’s pasts because they had no intention of ever ending up in any form of committed long-term relationship... and the men who didn’t care because they legitimately thought a woman’s past had no bearing on her future.
I’d argue that the past matters even in a fling, hookup, or a casual or open relationship... simply because crazy girls can wreck your life in all kinds of terrible ways even when you’re keeping things arms-length with them, and a one-night stand with the wrong kind of girl can quickly turn down Bad News Lane if she fixates on you or brings other bad stuff into your sphere. But what about commitment? How much a woman’s past matter if you want something serious?
As a student of
psychology who worked in the field for years, I have
arrived at the belief that the single most important predictor of
behavior is context. By this,
I mean the immediate environment surrounding the behavior – the people,
the atmosphere, and all sensory input streams.
I mean, think about it for a second. Doesn’t it sometimes seem like you have a different personality depending on who you’re with, what you’re doing, or where you are? Have you ever done something, then looked back at it later and thought, “That just wasn’t me! I never do stuff like that!”
It’s almost like there was someone else controlling your actions, because the truth of the matter is that... it was a different personality. It was just as much “you” as the “you” you like to think is “you”, but it was simply expressing a side of itself that you had never experienced before. And, if I had to guess, I’d say you were in some kind of special circumstance when that happened… weren’t you? Maybe you were on vacation, maybe you were intoxicated, maybe you were hanging out with people with whom... for some reason, in that instance, it just seemed like an okay thing to do. Right?
So, as with nearly all phenomena I encounter in my journeys and adventures, I asked myself the question... “How can I use what I’ve learned to improve my sex life and the sex lives of my special lady friends?”
At the start of the new year, there was a thread on the
boards with suggestions for new articles this year. Zac suggested one
on the tendency of women to always have men in their lives... and that
this should never be an obstacle for you when meeting new women.
It’s a curious thing for me to think about. This concept is one I spend zero thought cycles on myself, and it always strikes me as a little odd and funny when I see men talking about it now... mostly guys on the boards talking about their concerns about approaching: but what if she has a boyfriend?
Not just boyfriend, though; but what about that guy she’s talking to? Or, yeah, I see her by herself right now – but what if there’s someone else nearby? What if she has a lover and I don’t know it?
The fact is, EVERY woman you meet is going to have SOME guy in her life, in SOME capacity. There is some man who is important to her who is “limiting” her choices in men in some way.
The thing about approaching though is this: you’ve got to learn to disregard these men as abstractions and approach away, anyway.
340Breeze poses an intriguing “What if?” scenario over
on the
article about astrology:
“An interesting question is how do you think women would behave in general toward men (in terms of their attitude, expectations, submissiveness, physical attributes (caring about being fat vs slim), etc) if the vast majority of available men were completely unwilling to trade (access to resources, money, etc )for hopes of sex? I know this is unrealistic since clearly women have choice in men because: (1) men are the agressive sex meaning women have lots of suitors just by being a woman; and (2) men seem to want women’s vjs more than women want what men have to offer.”
I think this one’s worth addressing because I see a lot of frustration from guys on various corners of the Internet about desperate men trading their time and energy to women in exchange for the hope of a chance to maybe possibly someday if they’re lucky have a shot at entering said women’s vaginas.
The talk is that these desperate men make it harder for everyone else to get laid, and/or that women are becoming overly entitled as a result of it.
And to some extent... there’s a nugget of truth in there, yeah.
But to a larger extent, this is looking at the problem all wrong, with blinders on to the real setup – and the real solution.
Have you ever had dirty thoughts about a girl? Have you ever wanted to tell her exactly what you want to do to her until she’s hot and sweaty and ready to claw your clothes off?
Well, if I know most men, you’ve probably kept those thoughts and words to yourself. You may have even withheld them while you were hooking up with a girl for fear that she might get offended and leave. But let me tell you, she’s waiting for you to break out the dirty talk. So today I’m going to talk about how to dirty talk with women the right way, and how to take your experience and hers to the next level.
Today I am going to discuss a very simple concept that
will make your physical escalation smoother,
more efficient, and much
more powerful.
I am sure the concept won’t sound like rocket science. And I am sure that some experienced players here at Girls Chase probably do this unconsciously, but I’d still recommend they read this post, in order to become aware of what they’re doing.
Others have probably thought about this concept but have only rarely used it in practice, as I seldom see it used by men out there.
Either way, this concept is VERY simple. Beginners, intermediates, and pros will all benefit from learning about it, and I also believe most men will be able to pull it off (as long as you manage to “simply escalate”).
I will call this concept “mutual escalation”.
I was sitting on a bar stool the other night talking to a good friend of mine who was venting his frustrations about women and dating. He said to me:
“ J.J., it just seems like everything will go perfectly with a girl, but then, when I do something like try to grab her digits, get her back to my place, or kiss her, she cuts me off at the knees and I lose her, just like that. I don’t know how one little mistake keeps messing up the whole thing!”
I thought about that for a moment… I mean, I really thought about it. What he was talking about were the transitions he was trying to make with girls, and how he was failing at converting those crucial turning points.
In fact, I see this a lot. For good reason too, because any transition point requires a good bit of investment on the girl’s behalf. When you reach a transition point with a woman, not only do you have to execute well, but she also has to be ready for it.
So today, what I want to teach you is not only how to move the goal posts and pull off the most seemingly impossible transitions, but also how to prepare her for these crucial moments and keep her logical mind, and all its doubts and hesitations, at bay while executing them, so that you and a girl you’ve hit it off with can move fluidly to the next stage of your interaction.
In the comments section of the 2013 “Year in Review” article, Nate asks:
“Chase,
This is a bit random, but can you do a post on astrology? Lately i’ve been fascinated by how accurate zodiac signs can be and the possibility of it showing how compatible you are with certain personality types. Obviously there’s gonna be some exceptions, but from what I’ve noticed they are often dead on. It would be interesting to see how well they correlate or if they just create some weird prejudices.
I’ve seen you mention it in a few of your posts and just wanted to see your take on it.
Nate”
Yes – astrology. Something almost everyone has a strong opinion about one way or another; it’s wonderful, or it’s rubbish.
Yet, however you feel about astrology, it is a fascinating little subject
in-and-of itself... and it’s one
that’s pretty darn fascinating to most of the women you’ll meet, too.
Something I see guys doing that always makes me want to hold up my hands and go, “Wait! Too extreme!” is getting miffed and walking away from women without giving them a properly put-together parting shot.
I was guilty of it for a long time, and when you’re still being emotionally affected by the women you’re meeting (i.e., before it’s become more or less pure process with little emotional involvement), it’s pretty easy to fall into this trap.
That is, the trap of realizing that things aren’t going your way with a given girl, getting upset, and storming off out of the interaction with a spiteful “Huh. She’ll realize what she’s lost when I’m gone!” attitude.
Ever do this? I bet you have, and if you’re like most men I bet you sometimes still do.
Thing is, how often do those girls you abruptly cut contact with like this ever get back in touch with you and turn things around? Never, right? Occasionally they may reconnect with you, but ever notice how they treat you rather patronizingly in those cases? They know they’ve gotten to you.
At best, all you ever get out of ending things with girls this way is a psychic victory... you get to think to yourself that you “won” because you walked off and left her hanging.
But you didn’t win, not really. You didn’t get the girl.
There is a way you can though – not all the time, but a whole lot more often than you will with the “get irked and storm off” approach, in any event.
I call it “the parting shot.”
