Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Every Guy Skilled with Women Has Nuance

Chase Amante's picture
on having a nuanced view of womenThe average man tends to fall into over-simplistic thinking on girls. Men who are highly skilled with women, however, view girls in a far more nuanced way.

I’ve been spending a little time on X.com just to see if it is possible for us to build that out more as another channel to reach a bigger audience. I’ll probably play around with it a few more weeks at least to see if we can get traction, then reassess if it’s worth continuing to bother with (or not).

But while I’m there, one of the things they tell you to do if you want to grow on X is to interact with a bunch of other larger accounts every day. The reason is that regular users will see you posting, grow acquainted with you, check you out if they like your stuff, and follow you. Over time, you build up an audience on the platform.

As I do this ‘homework’, reading these various other accounts’ takes on women and dating, then read the replies, it reminds me once again how little nuance there is in the vast majority of men’s conceptions of women.

The nice guy ‘blue pilled’ guys think women are basically like “men with vaginas.” They expect women are as driven and capable as men are at doing all the things men like best, that women hold essentially masculine values/virtues, and that women basically think like men, albeit colored through the lens of feminine experience. A few weeks doing cold approach would completely disabuse them of these ideas.

Then on the other side the (often bitter) ‘red pilled’ and ‘black pilled’ guys also engage in gross over-simplifications about women, but in the total opposite direction. Women to these men are irrational, self-interested succubi. Women are coldly focused on getting the best-looking, or highest status, or richest, or most confident man they can get (depending on the biases of the man sharing his opinion); any man who does not measure up is basically driftwood. In these guys’ cases, a few weeks of cold approach would also disabuse them of much of this – although only once they’re getting results (and not just one-night stands with psycho chicks!).

This kind of thinking (the blue pill guys, red pill guys, and black pill guys) is fine so long as a man is content hanging around in the peanut gallery, firing off opinions for the consumption of others who are also in the peanut gallery.

But the instant he wants to be in the arena – and actually succeeding with women in a repeatable, engineerable way – he has to throw this stuff out.

He has to learn to see nuance.

Generation Z Is Ditching Dating Apps. So Where Do They Get Dates?

Chase Amante's picture
Where's Generation Z Getting Its Dates?Members of Generation Z are 15% less likely to meet their dates on dating apps. Instead, they’ve turned to friends, work, and real-life events to find love.

I’ve been telling folks to quit using dating apps so darn much for a long time.

Older folks have stubbornly ignored this advice. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks! 74% of dating app users are ages 30+. When you consider the fact that the average American is married by age 30, that’s a whole lotta divorcés, lifelong bachelors, and spinsters on these apps… and not very many young & singles by comparison.

online dating service users in the United States as of September 2023, by age groupThe prime demographic for dating apps is less and less interested.

Partly, that is because Generation Z has been abandoning dating apps in droves.

As Time Magazine aptly notes

Given that Gen-Z currently includes 18 to 27 year olds, one would assume they would be prime candidates for the swipe-and-match of dating apps. But that’s not the case. Despite the growing trend of dating apps being where people go to find partners in the U.S., Gen-Z seems to be opting out.

The New York Times reports that “the two largest dating-app companies are facing serious problems with younger users.” It lists reasons given by Gen Zers on TikTok, Reddit, and Instagram such as:

  • Swiping feeling too transactional & unnatural
  • Distrust in profit-oriented dating companies
  • Being sick of fake profiles on apps
  • Disinterest in hookup culture
  • Better ways to meet people (& for free) exist

“In my opinion, dating apps are for people who are kind of desperate for something,” the Times quotes 28-year-old schoolteacher Alexa Valavicius as saying. Remember in 2015 when everybody said online dating was no longer for desperate people – it had gone mainstream? Well the ol’ ‘desperation reputation’ has begun to creep back in!

The author of the Times article, Gina Cherelus, notes she “realized that being on the apps gave the illusion that I was putting effort into my dating life, when really I was spending a couple hours a week swiping for 30 minutes and calling it a day. And my self-confidence was taking a hit.” She continues

Surprisingly, I find that my dating life is more active since giving up the apps in the fall of 2022. Knowing that I’ve eliminated them as an option to meet people has made me more inclined to engage in conversation with a stranger at a cafe, bookshop or house party.

In other words, ditching dating apps made her more social, and more open to men’s approaches.

Fortune reported on Bumble slashing 1/3 of its workforce in late 2024. The article paraphrases a research analyst as saying, “The redesign of the app has seemingly not been enough to court younger users.” Bumble lost $40 billion in market share value between 2021 and 2024.

But if Generation Z is flocking off the dating apps, where are they going now to look for love (or flings)?

Tactics Tuesdays: Baby Step Approaching (for Severe Approach Anxiety or Rust)

Chase Amante's picture
super baby steps to get you approaching girlsIf you’re having a tough time getting yourself to approach women, these are the 7 steps you need. In 30 minutes, you’ll OBLITERATE your approach anxiety.

Sub-Zero, our long-struggling reader, recently requested an even simpler way to dip your toes into the ‘approach girls’ pool than our Newbie Assignment:

3. Do you have baby steps for approaching with the newbie assignment or just approaching in general? I need the most simplest, easiest way to approach because for some reason I can’t do it. I can talk when girls talk to me, but anything with me having to start the convo or me having to carry the convo and close, I just can’t do it.

I know you thought I meant in general and thought I was ok with night clubs, I’m better there, but after being out the game for so long, I just can’t open, carry the convo, or close, especially for day game.

All right, so here are the SUPER BABY STEPS for making an approach on a girl.

If your approach anxiety is crippling or you’re so rusted over your approach muscles won’t budge an inch, this is the guide you want to follow.

This is what I use personally to jump into action any time I’ve acquired some rust and need to get back to it. This also allows you to get into gear pretty quick, assuming you have some prior approaching experience.

If you don’t have prior experience approaching women, you don’t have to go through all this – just go up to the level you are comfortable with. Then try to go a little further the next time.

[FREE BOOK] 10 Nonverbal Tricks that Get Girls to Chase You

Chase Amante's picture
10 Nonverbal Tricks that Get Girls to Chase YouGet girls to laugh, follow you, and fight for your attention with these nonverbal chasing tricks. If you have an X/Twitter account, I’ll send the book FREE.

Howdy gents.

I’ve got a cool new mini book written up for you. The title?

10 Nonverbal Tricks that Get Girls to Chase You!

I’m making the book available for $4.99.

However, if you have an X/Twitter account, the book is completely free.

Roses of Romantic Attraction: Progress Report (Logistics Research Done)

Chase Amante's picture
The Roses of Romantic Attraction: Logistics ResearchChase has wrapped Rose VIII and started into Rose IX. He covers some snags finishing up Rose VIII, and his success uncovering research on logistics for IX.

It’s been two weeks since my previous update on my upcoming book The Roses of Romantic Attraction.

This is the book where I compile all the current research on how men and women attract one another and fit it into a usable system for both sexes. A potent, usable, and deep guidebook to attracting desirable mates.

There are tons of “how to get dates” and “how to get laid” books out there teaching this or that guru’s particular method. There are tons of academic papers out there that cover individual elements of the attraction process.

No one has ever put together a book that drills down to the fundamentals of romantic attraction; one that goes beyond a specific teacher’s method and instead explains the universal attraction elements that every teacher’s method is based upon; one every published paper examines one or another aspect of.

That’s what RoRA is: it is the attraction Bible.

For more on the start of the project and why I’m writing it, see my prior update.

Why Showing Disinterest in Girls Is So Deadly Effective

Alek Rolstad's picture
showing disinterest in girls: the frame-setting secret weaponMost guys work hard to show women how interested they are. So why would you want to show a girl DISinterest? Just one reason: to raise HER interest in YOU!

Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

Last week, I discussed showing interest by using indirect game to attract women.

A common misconception with indirect game is that you are overly aloof without showing any interest, relying on displaying disinterest. Although there is some truth to this, most go-to formulas of indirect game involve showing interest—sooner rather than later.

You should eventually escalate the vibe, creating an “us” frame. This is a “you and me together” vibe, adding a romantic and sexual layer to the interaction. For more, see my article from last week, which discusses ways to show interest.

Showing interest also helps avoid unnecessary auto-rejections. You do not want a girl to prematurely eject herself from the interaction to safeguard her ego. By showing some interest, you keep her in the loop, giving her a sign of hope that she has a shot at getting you.

Today, I will cover when to show disinterest—an essential indirect game factor. You will learn to show disinterest in ways to maintain her curiosity in you by:

  • Showing disinterest in a way that does not de-escalate the vibe

  • Showing disinterest without causing auto-rejection

Next week, I will go through the different ways to show disinterest.

Girls on the Prowl Find Men Handsomer

Chase Amante's picture
girls on the prowl find men hotterResearch shows that women who want to meet a man rate men handsomer in general. When she’s on the prowl, EVERY guy’s a Prince Charming to her!

I know a lot of guys are very focused on their looks.

So this study should be intriguing. From the study:

It was found that the more interested women were in meeting members of the opposite sex, the more attractive they viewed the opposite-sex patrons in the bar. (Interest was not found to affect the attractiveness of the opposite-sex confederate.) For men, no relationship was found between interest and physical attractiveness ratings.

Regarding the “opposite-sex confederate” bit: the researchers paired men and women up with an average-looking opposite-sex companion and sent them to a bar together. They wanted to see if the ‘beer goggles’ effect was real.

They found that it for women it wasn’t. As the night went on, women rated men’s looks worse – both the looks of the guy they went there with and the other patrons in the bar. Further, the drunker women got, the harsher critics they were of the looks of men!

(men, for the record, rated other female bar patrons the same at the beginning and end of the night – however they rated the average-looking girl they came with a whopping 19% better-looking by the end of the night!)

The one exception to the harsh judgments women made: women who were on the prowl.

The more a girl was out to meet men, the better-looking the guys in the bar looked to her.

Tactics Tuesdays: Stating Your Intentions (with an SOI)

Chase Amante's picture
using statements of intentThe statement of intent (SOI) is a powerful tool in the seducer’s arsenal. Combined with a barrier it can be used to dramatically push a seduction forward.

A common problem guys have chatting up new girls is “stalling out.” That’s what we call it when you approach a girl, open her, she seems receptive, you flirt a little bit… and then this whole vibe of, “Okay, so… where’s this going to?” settles over the interaction.

Then it gets awkward.

Then you hear, “Well, it was nice to meet you!” and the girl ejects.

Maybe she liked you!

Maybe it could’ve gone somewhere!

But it didn’t, because she couldn’t figure out where things were headed next, and you failed to lead. How DO you lead properly and avoid having interactions with girls stall out this way?

One way to do it is by stating your intentions (a.k.a. stating your interest).

What Makes Women Signal a Man to Approach?

Chase Amante's picture
conditions for triggering approach invitations from girlsIf you look good as a guy but women still don’t signal you to approach, what gives? In fact, there’s more that goes into women signaling than a man’s looks.

Commenting on my article “Should You Even Respond to Women's Signs of Interest?”, Sami-88 asked about why, despite his excellent fashion and attraction fundamentals, and warm receptions from all kinds of women, he doesn’t get much in the way of pre-approach signals from attractive women.

I responded that if (as seems to be the case for Sami) you’re getting midrange girls signaling you but not hotter girls, but all girls (including hotter girls) are still warm to you on approach, there are a few possible reasons that can be.

He followed up with the following comment:

Chase,

Thank you for your sophisticated answer. My look is that of the mysterious strong silent guy - the exact opposite of “goofy”.

It must be that hotter girls signal in a much more indirect way, like you write in your other article, and expect from a masculine guy to take all the initiative irrespectively of their signaling.

Food for thought for another article of yours: could there be a correlation between women’s signaling and the man’s perceived attainability?

Sweet, attainable guys might get heavy signaling more than “strong, silent” guys because women expect the latter to do the job without any help.

Yes, it is true – unintimidating men get much more signaling and even approach behavior from women. This relates to the lover vs. fighter distinction: do you come across as someone trying to attract (the lover) or someone trying to look tough (the fighter)?

That said, it also goes beyond this distinction, too – into where a man places his focus and whether he meets the ‘conditions’ for triggering approach invitations and female approaches.