Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Do you learn seduction by following a teacher or method you trust? Or are you “piecing together” a patchwork style taken from bits and pieces adopted from here and there?

I've gotta be honest: I can be a little closed-minded, at least while in my learning phase.

When I first discovered the seduction community, I fished about looking for a method or teacher that really resonated with me. I rejected a lot of objectively good teachers and methods, because I didn't feel they gelled with me, until I found one that did.

Then I mostly just followed that one system for years, while also studying guys here and there whose stuff did not conflict with it.

At times I'd try to study other guys I thought aligned with it, found they didn't align, and ended up throwing out almost everything I got from them, even though it was objectively good. I went on bootcamps with guys whose methods were too different from the main one I studied, had some success on those bootcamps, then abandoned the things I'd learned on them after because they didn't gel.

Most of the guys I know who became very good with girls were like this. They were single-minded about following a certain instructor or method that gelled very well with them, or developed their own from scratch with a single-minded focus on what they were seeking to develop, and were and are without fault picky about whom they listened to or incorporated ideas from outside their sphere.

(I love exploring different skilled guys' methods. There's usually something you can learn from anyone. That said, there is a limited amount to what you can glean from someone with a sufficiently different approach to yours, if you are trying to keep things within your own approach consistent and functional)

Now... there is another learning style some guys employ. One that is the bane of seduction coaches everywhere. It is both very open-minded in some ways, and totally obstinate in others.

It is the teacher's bane, because it invariably leads to confused students who aren't getting their desired results, and don't know why they aren't getting those results, who try blaming the various teachers they have studied, the methods they have learned, even women themselves, despite not fully following those teachers' instruction or methods' approaches.

It is what we might call the patchwork style of learning.

We might also call the men who use it the patchwork seducers.

When you open a new conversation with a girl, it should be casual. You want to keep the pressure low to avoid spooking her and scaring her off.

I was checking Reddit and came across a few interesting posts by women. Here's part of one:

[W]hen a guy walks up to me on the street when I'm going somewhere and he outright says to me something along the lines of "Hey, you're pretty, what's your name", I'm almost always startled and want to leave asap. First, because I'm usually in a rush and need to get somewhere and he's stopping me and making me be late, second, because I already know what's on his mind. And don't get me wrong - it's really nice that someone thinks I'm attractive and I don't suspect every guy to constantly think of sex, it's just... he's already stating, in his very first words to me, that he's only talking to me because he's thinking of me in a "date material" sort of way.

...

On the other hand, I've also been approached in bars, in clubs, on campus and in supermarkets/shops. What those situations had in common was me not rushing anywhere and those guys starting a conversation with saying something casual, for example asking about the lettering on my tote bag (it's sort of a wordplay). One mentioned that he thought my glasses were really cool and then showing me his, which were almost identical; another one asked me if I knew what the bar's specialty was etc.

...

Basically what I'm trying to say is: all of the successful approaches were super laid back (I didn't feel 'hunted down'), gave me a chance to escape them without saying that I'm not interested (it's actually quite hard to tell such a thing to someone) or lying about having a boyfriend (that only happens when a guy is too persisent). Those guys also made it really easy for me to get into a conversation with them and actually let me talk to them like I'm a normal person (not just an object of physical attraction), thus making it easier to either exchange numbers or just expand our social circles (without any pressure). They made me feel like a nice human being, worthy of their attention not just because of my looks but rather because they found me be an interesting person to talk to (girlfriend material or not).

I don't recall having seen posts by women on r/seduction in the past. But apparently nowadays women are going on there, making positive comments about approaches they've experienced, and encouraging men to approach. Fun to speculate on why, but that's outside the purview of this piece.

Regardless, this gal raises a topic I'd like to explore more today: that of not startling girls when you approach, by keeping your approaches lower pressure.