I’m going to wade back into theory on this one, a la “Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric
Returns.” Only this time, we’ll be looking at the end game
of picking up, instead of the middle game. Worth noting that some of
the examples in this article are as well inspired by Nassim Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness – very
good book.
Riz asks a few questions in the article on office politics about “settling
down”:
“This leads me
to my question(s)
1) Do successful seducers who see beyond classic dating ‘settle down’ ?
– Thinking about it, why would they – They know that whichever girl
they are with right now, there is probably out there somewhere, a girl
who is even sexier, more intelligent, more fun, successful etc etc –
They know they will never find Ms.Perfect – So why ‘settle’ – Whats the
point?
Surely on of the big reasons most guys settle is because they fall in
love with a girl and can’t help but cling onto her in false belief that
they will never find another girl like her, they have to marry her now
to solidify heir destined relationship and if things ever go wrong and
they divorce then that’s it, life over.
2) What are your thoughts specifically on ‘settling down’ – I don’t
know why exactly but even uttering those words ‘settle down’ sounds to
me like giving up almost. To me it just sounds so defeatist. Why would
anybody want to settle down lol, its crazy.
And I am not a young man either, I have though this for quite a while.
Seems hardly anybody else really relates though.
It’s like for most, settling down is the ultimate goal to achieve in
life. Everyone always talks about it in group ‘ah so are you settled
yet?’ – And i’m like ‘uhh no...., should I?’”
These are good questions, yeah. Personally, I’ve never had a problem
with the idea of long-term relationships and
children, but the concept of “settling down” has always bugged me to
high heaven... since I was a small boy, in fact.
There’s just something about how most “ordinary” folks define
“settling down” as something that sounds, to someone like me, and Riz
too by the sound of it, like “giving up on your dreams.”
It’s like saying “I’ve done all that I’m going to do; now it’s time
to ‘get serious’ and go get a wife and a house with a white picket
fence and go be a wage slave for the next 30 or 40 years so I can
afford to pay off the mortgage on my McMansion and fleet of minivans,
then die.”
When you’re someone who wants to do more with his life than the
ordinary, you’ll tend to be quite allergic to the idea of settling down.
Yet, as alluring as the idea of bouncing around from one woman to
the next until the end of time can seem, almost nobody does it... including
all the men who assure you in their teens, twenties, and early thirties
that they, definitely will stay single forever.
Why is that – why does almost everybody
(including the folks who
claim not to want to) eventually end up “settling down”?
Well, it’s all down to a little term called “satisficing.”
Gentlemen!
