Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

3 Kinds of Men (and How to Care More No Matter Which You Are)

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

There are, in romance, three kinds of men.

And before any of these three kinds of men is truly free to care about the women in his life and the others around him, he must make an inner journey that forces him to face his demons and let go of his fears of where these lead.

We all, in our own ways, search for a kind of absolution.

When we are young we expect that to come in the form of young love. Movies overwhelmingly portray it as “the happiest ending possible”, so why not? Some choose that path and succeed, some choose it and feel inadequate for doing so, and some choose to walk away from it (as I did).

But the complexities do not end there, and the human condition is fraught with astounding complexity and specificity for each and every one of us. Our lives are all set to a very unique mould, and no two are exactly alike. However, there are some things that are unilateral in their own quirky ways and I hope to share a few tips about life.

kinds of men

In my next article after this one I will describe two paths: one of the guy who chooses teen love, the other who doesn’t and walks another path. However, in this article I’m going to start by shortly describing another path and then afterwards share some techniques it uncovers.

When Talking to Girls, Make the Boring Exciting

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

There was a quite wonderful article in the New York Times the other day about the use of storytelling and narratives.

In the piece, “What Happens When Baseball-Stats Nerds Run a Pro Team?”, the authors reveal their discovery that simply conveying bare factual information ultimately proved less inspiring – despite its accuracy – and that when they began to spin a narrative around the reasons for their actions, players took this more to heart, put their emotions into the game, and started winning.

There’s a great parallel here with talking to girls, too: because if all you’re doing is conveying facts, you’ll struggle to get buy-in, pleasure, excitement, and attention... even if your facts are the best facts in the business.

As you know all too well if you read this site regularly, emotions are a woman’s bread and butter: she doesn’t want to know your details.

She wants to feel something. Facts don’t do this for her. Stories do.

talking to girls

If you can make her feel those up and down emotions, that thrill, and that excitement, she is as good as yours.

Why People Settle Down: The 3-Step Settling Curve

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I recently was privy to a conversation between a handful of women in their early- to mid-thirties. They were for the most part quite attractive and confident, and their careers were solid and their paychecks healthy. The conversation went something like this:

Girl 1: I’m someone who thought she’d always be single her entire life and never get married. But I had to take care of my aging mother when my father was in the hospital, and I realized someday that will be me and it might really be nice to have someone around to look after me when I’m like that.

Girl 2: I never thought I’d want to get married either. I’m still not sure if marriage is what I want, but as I get older I think more and more it’d be nice to have a companion.

settle down

Girl 1: Exactly. But I’d never settle! I’d only get married if someone was truly the right match for me.

Girl 3: You should never accept someone who isn’t the right match for you. The right person will come along sooner or later; you just have to have the patience to wait for him.

Girl 2: That’s a beautiful way to put it.

Girl 1: Totally right.

You may hear something like this and think, “For a group of smart, educated, professionally successful women, they sure don’t seem to be able to think or communicate about love in any way that doesn’t rely on romcom tropes and tired clichés.”

And, you’d be right.

However, before you judge these gals silly for the naïveté of their talking points, I’d caution you to be aware that this is a common trap people fall into in societies that abandon educating their youths on life history... and men fall into it every bit as much as women.

How I Went from Fat Guy to Lady Killer (with Pics to Prove It)

Joe Ducard's picture

By: Joe Ducard

fat guyA miserable fat guy, invisible to women. That pretty much summed me up 9 years ago (on the left). Sure, I was a “good guy” at heart, but I lived my life from the sidelines.

I will never forget the god-awful rotten feeling I had inside when I saw a guy around my age (21 at the time) driving next to me with a cute young blonde girl in his car. “How the hell did he get that girl?” quickly turned into “What the heck is wrong with me?”.

I want to share with you my journey that took me from being that fat lonely guy, to teaching guys how to meet women for a living. Even more important, I changed myself into a man I am proud to be.

I learned a lot of insanely valuable lessons on my journey and did more things wrong than I did right. In these articles I’m going to tell you what worked and what didn’t so you can have an awesome life filled with options with hot girls.

I want you to be able to avoid the mistakes I made and capitalize on my good decisions so you can achieve your goals with women in the shortest amount of time possible, with the LEAST amount of work.

Buckle up and get ready for a wild ride...

Quit Letting Girls Off the Hook So Much

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I’ve seen a sickness in men, and it is chucking out validation like bread at the duck pond.

Here, I’ll show you what I mean.

Let’s say you compliment a girl, and she refuses it. Like so:

You: Your hair is spectacular.

Her: Oh, actually I haven’t even combed it today, haha.

What do you say next?

If you’re like most guys, you let girls off the hook with something along the lines of:

You: Well you can’t even tell. It looks awesome.

letting girls off the hook

Or, let’s say you text a girl, ask her out, yet she declines (in a nice way). Like:

You: Andie, let’s go to this wine tasting they’re having Thursday night!

Her: Oh no, I sooo want to go, but my parents are in town this week! I have to spend time with them!

How do you respond? If you’re like most guys, it’s something like:

You: Oh man, well, I’ll miss you, but have fun with your parents!

Do you sense anything slightly wrong with these responses?

Is there an almost indecipherable air of excess ‘niceness’ in them?

That excess niceness you’re picking up on is validation – and letting her off the hook.

How to Leverage Improv to Get Yourself Laid

William Gupta's picture

By: William Gupta

improv get laid

I saw a girl on the subway a few weeks ago. She was pretty, she had a scarf, and she was standing next to me. I open her by saying, “Nice scarf,” and she responded ,“You too.” We got to talking, the conversation was fun, but I could tell she was in her head. So what do I do? I recite a poem from my favorite West African poet.

Now I don’t know any West African poets, nor do I know any West African poems, and I definitely don’t speak Swahili, but I thought I would have fun and experiment with this interaction. So I recite a poem in a made up language on the spot and then translate it. She was blown away; her face was like “Did that really just happen?”, and when I told her that I had made all of that up, she burst into a huge fit of laughter. All of a sudden, she was out of her head and into the interaction. I would have never tried something like that if I hadn’t learned it in improv class the day before.

Now I am not saying reciting poems to girls in gibberish is the answer. What I am saying is that there are a lot of principles in improv that you can apply to seduction. This post will start with some of the philosophical underpinnings of improv that will help you with game, and then I will write about some exercises that you can do infield to warm up.

Girls in Groups: How to Tell Who’s a Leader or a Follower

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

When you’re approaching girls in groups, one of the most vital tasks you have ahead of you is to quickly ferret out who is the leader of the group, and who are the followers.

girls in groups

If you can tell who the leader is, you know how to proceed with courting the girl you like. If you don’t know who the leader is, it’s easy to mess this up, have all the girls bail on you, and end up standing around wondering what the heck happened.

You’ll tend to develop a natural instinct for discerning the group leader from the other girls in the group as you gain more exposure, so if you’re a veteran of bar/club game or social circle pickup, you’ll probably find you intuitively know which girls the leaders are soon into an interaction (or even before you say hello).

So if that’s you, this article may be a little basic for you... though I’d encourage you to tune in for the later two installments in this 3-part series, which will focus on picking up followers (one article) and picking up leaders (another article), for some important process distinctions.

If you’re just beginning to dip your toes into meeting women in non-solo situations (e.g., she’s not some girl you’ve approached on the street all by her lonesome), this guide will be just the thing to help you understand who’s who in the girl groups you meet.

Why to Never Take What Women Say at Face Value

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

what women sayA few hours ago I was in a girlfriend’s apartment with her and some of my girlfriend’s friends. I showered there, and when I finished my shower I left the bathroom in just a towel, then returned to dry my hair.

After my girlfriend’s friends had left, she told me one of her friends had seen me walking back and forth wrapped in my towel and proceeded to make an unpleasant face, then look away.

Now, if I was younger I might’ve been inclined to take this reaction at face value and assume there must be something wrong with my body, or maybe I don’t look that good in a towel and ought to stay covered up all the time. I’d feel self-conscious and take something like this as reason for doubt.

However, at this point, I know I’m in decent shape... I have some muscle, and little fat. I have arguably the best figure right now I’ve ever had. And I’ve had plenty of girls tell me I have a good body. So I know that “Ugh!” reaction likely doesn’t mean, “Ew, he’s so ugly.”

Instead, I figured this likely happened because that friend is devoutly religious, and her reaction was her forbidding herself to suffer impure thoughts / temptation. I told my girlfriend this, and she said that was her read as well (then asked me if I could stay dressed around her more conservative friends).

It seemed like a simple little interaction, but it highlighted an important point:

You must be careful not to take what women say or do at face value.

Stop Being So Considerate

William Gupta's picture

By: William Gupta

A lot of guys are too considerate to get what they want out of life. It’s not that being inconsiderate is the key, it’s that sometimes you need to be inconsiderate to get the things you want. Our society venerates meek behavior but at the same time it rewards people who have the ability to be selfish.

It’s not about being completely one or the other though, it’s about knowing when to be what. But in order to know when to be inconsiderate, you have to learn how to do it properly.

considerate

Girls Chase Podcast Interviews Ep. 11: Chase Amante

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In this podcast – the first of a two-parter – Varoon and I talk relationships: starting them, setting expectations properly, converting girls from new lays to regular partners, and the different relationship structures you can set up with women.

A selection of topics Varoon and I discuss: