Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Be a Sexy Man

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By: Chase Amante

Towards the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009, I decided to focus my energies on a new thing I had to learn and get down: how to be sexy. I wanted to give myself a dangerous, edgy, exciting vibe, that compelled women to want me and desire me and be amenable to moving quickly with me. At the time, I didn’t really know how I was going to go about it, but I set to work on cracking the code of sexiness nonetheless.

Two years later, I bed women faster than ever, get strong initial attraction from most of the women I talk to, and get told all the time that I’m handsome, sexy, and good-looking. When I meet new women, they’re more likely than not willing to do as I command very early on in our interactions, and I can often suck them into an almost trance-like state of interest and desire. This was something I was doing only occasionally in early 2008, but am doing regularly and consistently now.

The process of how I went about revamping myself from a cool, friendly, neutral guy to a dangerous, edgy, sexy man is what I’m going to share with you in this post. So strap yourself in and let’s get you turning on some beautiful girls.

The Party Date: Don't Do It

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By: Chase Amante

Just had a chat with a friend about this today. He was doing party dates a lot with girls and getting frustrated that the night never quite ended the way he hoped it would.

The basic idea behind a party date is you’ve met a girl, talked to her on the phone a few times, traded text messages back and forth, and now you’re ready to invite her on a date. So you sit there, wracking your brain… what’d be a fun thing to do? Hmm, well… then, you think of it: the party date! Your friends are having a party this weekend – you should invite this new girl to join you!

After all, a party’d be a great idea, right? Your date can see you with your friends, which will reassure her you’re a sociable guy and people like you, and you can hang out with her in a high-energy environment, and it is after all an excuse to do some drinking, yeah? Maybe she’ll even see you flirting with another girl, and she’ll want you for sure after that.

Well, we already covered the major dos of dating in “Date Templates” and “Simplify Your Dates,” so this piece is going to focus instead on one of the major don’ts. Because, as great as it may seem, inviting your date to a party is one of the worst date ideas you can have the misfortune of falling prey to, and most assuredly something you don’t want to do.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect and Self-Improvement

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By: Chase Amante

Quick blurb here, I’ll get a proper post up for today in a little while.

Just read about a fascinating cognitive bias that’s been tested over the course of multiple experiments and shown to likely be a real phenomenon. The bias is this: incompetent people tend to overestimate their knowledge relative to others, assuming that they already know it all, while competent people, realizing how much there is to a topic, tend to underestimate their knowledge relative to others, assuming that others know as much or more than they do.

So someone who’s ignorant of a topic may well stand on a soap box and loudly cry out about the “truth,” while someone who’s far more informed and competent may feel he knows but a drop in the bucket and remain quiet, confident that others out there know more. I’ve long been wary of people who proclaim to know all the answers, and held them to a higher degree of skepticism than anyone else… the proposed cognitive bias in question, Dunning-Kruger, gives me some scientific justification to that skepticism.

Phone Calls on Dates

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By: Chase Amante

Was just talking with a good friend of mine about dating etiquette, and he asked me if I ever request that women turn their cell phones off on dates. He said he finds it quite annoying when girls are taking calls and texts while they’re spending time with him.

I can certainly understand that. I think it’s a common human reaction, feeling ignored or mildly disrespected when someone who’s supposed to be there for you isn’t entirely present in the moment and there for you; at the same time she’s on a date with you, she’s busy communicating with other people. How rude.

Me though, I never tell girls not to take those dating phone calls or not respond to those text messages they get when they’re out with me. The closest I’ve come is when things have been hot and heavy with a girl and someone starts blowing up her phone, and if she seems reluctant to answer it I’ll tell her, “Don’t answer it,” in a very seductive half-whisper. If she wants to answer it though, I’m not going to stop her.

And I have a few very good reasons why.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Staying Out of Auto-Rejection

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By: Chase Amante

These days Sebastian Drake’s VAC attraction model is all but forgotten in the seduction community. There’s been a gold rush toward “natural game” and at the same time a supposed abandonment of the previously ubiquitous “routine-based game,” the ever-present 800-pound gorilla in pick up circles half a decade ago.

But in the rush toward “natural game” some of its pillars have been missed or marginalized by its new champions – the former routine guys who’ve turned over a new leaf. Nowadays, most everyone in seduction will tell you he practices “natural game”, but what many propose to teach quite often are routines that run a little more smoothly and aren’t called by the label “routines.” They’re dressed up a little and called “natural game” instead. But if you pay close attention… yep, they’re still routines.

That’s why you won’t see the term “natural game” anywhere on this site. In my mind, it’s become synonymous with slightly-evolved-but-thinly-veiled routine-based game. Nothing personal against routines or the guys who use ‘em; it just ain’t my style and I’d rather not be associated with them. The “natural game” pitched by most these days is a little smoother and a little more direct than the routine-based game of yore, but it’s lacking in a lot of the teaching of core concepts of what really makes guys who are naturally talented with women so successful.

One of those core concepts is the “A” in VAC: Attainability. Attainability is the measure of how readily a woman feels she’s able to get what she wants with you – if she thinks it’s in the bag with you and she’s got you hook, line, and sinker, your attainability is too high; that’s called being no challenge. Being no challenge is what happens when a guy makes it too easy for a girl, doesn’t challenge her, or comes across needy or low value.

Meet Women More Easily: Location

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By: Chase Amante

I’m sitting back at home in the suburbs of Philadelphia where I grew up, and I’m thinking about how over the years I’ve changed my life to allow myself to meet women more regularly, more easily, and more consistently.

Back when I used to make music, one of the ways that I advanced my skill level over the years was by closely examining the guys who were great successes, then closely examining the guys who were utter failures, then having a look at the guys caught in the middle, and asking myself why each person was where he was. After four years, starting out being atrocious at music, I was putting together incredibly lyrically sharp pieces and constructing music that people would get really excited about when I showed it to them, chiefly because I spent a lot of time deconstructing what made a song a hit, then using the lessons from that to make my own music. When I started focusing on seduction, I turned that same discerning eye (or ear, in the case of music) onto men’s success with women.

I noticed that a number of the most prolific seducers all did things that put them constantly in a position to meet women. They had jobs as lifeguards, or nightclub bouncers, or model talent scouts; other guys did unconventional things like moving abroad and becoming a tour guide or a bartender or an English teacher. Not all guys; some guys just stayed close to where they grew up and simply went out over and over again and did massive amount of approaching, until they got the skill down that they could read women quickly and well and identify the women who would be most open to them.

When to Use Direct Openers Versus Situational Openers

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By: Chase Amante

Have had an exhausting past few days, just constantly tired and running all over the place, but wanted to get some thoughts up here, so this’ll be just a short quick post.

There’s a saying that goes, “If you want to learn, teach,” and one of the cool things about teaching something as dynamic as seduction is that it compels you to continually be refining things, questioning things, and identifying new strategies and techniques and then asking yourself why they work.

Reactions from Women, or Results with Women?

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By: Chase Amante

I intended for this to be a shorter post, since I’ve put up a few long ones in a row and I didn’t get much sleep last night as I’m still rocking a jet lag (so much for my claims to not be affected by that… it’s good though, I’m waking up early in the morning and cranking on stuff I want to work on, so my jet lag has actually made me more productive). We’ll see if I’m able to write something concise this time, just to shake things up a bit and throw everyone a curve ball. A short article from Chase? Bet you weren’t expecting that!

Well, so, I touched on reactions a bit in “Learning from Reactions: Developing Social Calibration” two months ago (to the day, actually… how about that?), where I mostly stressed how you can use reactions to learn social calibration, but also mentioned that you don’t want to make reactions too much a focus of yours. This post is going to work on explaining why that is.

This is kind of a simple topic, but it’s one almost no one ever thinks about. It’s one of those things you point out to a guy and you watch his face light up like he’s just had a small epiphany. That’s something of a favorite pastime of mine: looking for those ideas that feel simple and intuitive but that no one ever stops and considers... then making people stop and consider them.

How to Text a Girl in 2022

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By: Chase Amante

how to text a girl opening graphic

This guide will show you exactly how to text a girl.

Including:

  1. Texting a girl examples
  2. Copy-paste texting templates
  3. Emerging texting trends
  4. Must-read resources
  5. Lots more

If you want to go from novice to 'textpert', this guide is for you.

Let's begin.

Escalation Windows

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By: Chase Amante

Just received the following email from a reader, who was kind enough to allow me to reprint here, preferring to remain anonymous. He asks:

Hey Chase,

I'm not sure if your one to give feedback to random readers of your blog but I was hoping I could get help with this girl. I met her at a party a week ago, and within about 5 minutes of meeting her I was making out with her. We leave the party soon after. I asked her to come back to my place and she declined because she had to get up early which I new was true. So I walk her back to her place and kiss her good night. Flash forward to this weekend where after a week of texting I get her to come over to a small party at my house. I play beer pong with her and talk with her somewhat but she seems very cold. I am able to touch her somewhat but when I do sexual things like touch her butt she moved my hand away. So she left my house pretty abruptly, and becuase I didn't want to see her go that easy I texted her the next day. She basically told me she didn't like me that much in the first place and doesn't want to talk to me anymore, very harsh! I don't know what I did to upset her so much. Also, is it possible to still see this girl again or is it done?

Ah, this sounds like something that used to plague me all the time when I was starting out. It feels super-confusing when it happens to you, too – why on Earth would a girl who really, really liked you one night suddenly pull a complete 180 and be cold to you the next time you saw her? It’s bizarre and mystifying to us, because as men we don’t act that way. Either we like a girl, or we don’t like her. We don’t really, really like her, and then suddenly we hate her guts and treat her like a leper. It does not compute with us.

What causes this reaction in women, though, is in fact the making of the most painful mistake you can realize you’ve made in seduction – having a girl who wanted you but with whom you missed the window to bed her in.