Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Any Hesitance to Approach (that Isn't Strategic) Is Approach Anxiety

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

overcoming non-strategic approach anxietyIf you pause to approach from fear of what people may think (“She’s too young for him!” “They’re different races!” “He’s too short!”) it’s approach anxiety.

On my article about what to do when girls you approach say you’re too old, TheDude comments:

Hi Chase, your blog will never cease to amaze me. Just when I think I can't learn anything new, I visit the blog and read an article that teaches me something new.

I have a question - how to handle age gap social lashback? My problem is following. I'm in my 30s, smooth with women, phisically attractive, tight fundamentals. I live in a city where I'm quite known (not rock-star famous, but people know me). Most of women in my city are young (19-22). When I see good looking chick across the street, I hesitate to approach.

Why? Because I can't assess her age and I'm afraid she's too young. To assess her age, I need to either scan her before approaching (which is impossible is she's going the other way across the street) or take a risk and open her.

How should I act if after opening I find out she's very young? I don't want labeled as a guy who "harrasses young girls" because of this social lashback.

Age is a common reason men will hesitate to approach.

A girl might be too young for them, they think. Or a woman might be too old for them. People would judge them for it.

There are other reasons a guy might hesitate: a woman might have a boyfriend. She might be busy right now and not want to talk to someone. She might be in a bad mood. She might be an angry feminist who hates men! She might be listening to a song or a podcast she’s really into on her headphones and not want to be disturbed.

She might, she might, she might.

Nevertheless, for all these reasons, no matter how real the trepidation might feel, no matter how seemingly valid the reason to not approach, unless it is a strategic choice, it is still just approach anxiety.

Tactics Tuesdays: Socratic Questions for Under-the-Radar Effects

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

TEXTSocratic questioning is a powerful rhetorical technique for breaking people out of dogmatic beliefs. Use it to bust bad opinions… and turn girls into fans.

Everybody’s had the experience of being in a conversation with someone and hitting points of resistance every which way.

You’re talking with a girl and she brings up some opinion you don’t agree with… then when you try to get her off the topic she won’t budge, insisting on staying with this disagreeable topic. Maybe it’s a political opinion, or a cultural one, or something else. Whatever it is, it’s grating to your ears, and it’s allll she wants to talk about.

If you express the contrary opinion, you’re certain she’ll blow up. And in any event, debates about opinions aren’t sexy. Not conducive to seduction.

If you just go along with her opinion and feign agreement, you risk looking insincere, especially if it’s an opinion you don’t hold, and especially if it’s one that undermines you (e.g., her: “Men are just so obsessed with sex it’s disgusting. I hope you’re not like that”).

You can agree and amplify, which is going to work in some cases by turning it from a serious debate into a funny bit of banter… but if she’s too deep into ‘rant mode’ (or she’s one of those totally humorless chicks) even this may backfire.

What if there was a way you could defuse all her wound-up energy around this opinion, while allowing her to feel a lot more connected to you, while at the SAME TIME even potentially pointing out some cracks in her thinking that lead her to reconsider her most staunchly-held beliefs?

There is such a way:

Socratic questioning.

How to Never Get Flaked Again: A Guide to Investment and Qualification

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

never get flaked on againIf you chat up girls and win them over, only to have them flake on the date later, you were missing a few things: investment, qualification, + 2 more.

This post originally appeared on the forum here.

I straight up got nothing but flakes for about 8 months straight.

I was going mad. What the fuck was wrong?

I was doing everything right.

All the infields looked exactly like my sets.

There was ALMOST nothing that really went in depth about this.

Just crumbs and incomplete theories.

A bunch of loose ends.

Now...

I. Never. Get. Flaked.

It just doesn't happen.

If I run the set well and in my mind, I'm not gonna get flaked, I never do.

I completely fixed this problem, that "floating/not real set" issue completely.

I also helped many people fix this in my local area and I'll share the info with you.

I'll fix this once and for all.

(PS: I'm sorry for that one exception out of a thousand girls that lost her mother in a camp fire later that day, got drunk, got back with her ex, cried herself to insanity when she sobered up and hung herself to end her misery and thus couldn't text you back. "She just wasn't into you, bro. You have the wrong skin-color.")

3 Ways Bias Can Impede the Learning Process

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

identifying learning process biasesEverybody wants to learn to do better. Yet some of the ways we can think about learning actually impede our progress – even while we THINK they HELP!

In the past few weeks, we’ve talked about post-field diagnostics. This is when you analyze your performance after each outing to identify potential problems and come up with solutions. I also recommended that you take time to reflect on what you did right so you can learn from those experiences, too.

It’s easier said than done, so I am sharing one more post to help with your overall diagnostics and train you to become your own coach.

Today, I will cover three typical biases men face when troubleshooting their game and propose solutions.

These biases are very common. I bet that at least one of the three biases concerns you. It will help your game development if you know how and why it happens so that you do not fall for these biases.

First, let’s answer an important question that most may be asking. You will quickly see how this question refers to the biases we will uncover.

[WATCH] Six New GirlsChase.TV Videos (+ What’s Coming)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Thanks to Tony Depp and Hector Castillo, we continue to have new, great content going up on GirlsChase.TV (with a bit of new video content from me as well!). Here’s what’s gone up on GirlsChase.TV recently… plus a peak at what we have in store.

Giving a Girl the Archetypal Romance

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

giving her the archetypal romanceWomen fantasize about a type of ‘archetypal romance’. They read stories about it; they dream of it. As a man, you can give women just such a romance, too.

We have a thread on the forum where we’ve discussed how to better write female characters. It started with a discussion on how poorly written most modern female characters are (with them basically being written as “men with breasts and zero character development”), then discussing better-written female characters.

Recently, that thread revived, with a discussion now centered on archetypal female characters. I weighed in with some examples of variations on an archetypal female character progression:

  1. Heroine is either single or dating a boring guy who is pressing her for commitment.

  1. Heroine then meets an exciting scoundrel and begins to fall in love.

  1. Heroine realizes the scoundrel is “no good” and pushes him away… yet misses him.

  1. The scoundrel redeems himself and the heroine rushes back into his arms.

  1. Heroine transforms scoundrel into a dependable mate. Happily ever after; fade to black.

We might title this character arc ‘taming the untamed man’. It fits well with what we’ve discussed before on the female prerogative to tame males.

Today I’d like to talk a little about this archetypal romance – and how you can construct for a girl you’re seeing a similar adventure that creates a deep and fulfilling romantic story for her.

Tactics Tuesdays: Touch Tests

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

touch testsNot sure if a girl you’re talking to is into you? Want to find out a quick, fun, and easy way? Use a touch test! It’s like a compliance test – with touch!

All right, let’s have a little fun with this Tactics Tuesdays installment.

Today we’re going to talk about ‘touch tests’ of all sorts, from harmless to risqué.

What is a touch test? It is a kind of compliance test where the compliance you test for is her receptiveness to your touch. These tests run the full gamut from light incidental touches to slapping girls’ butts, manhandling their breasts, and pulling their hair.

See, I told you it went all the way up to ‘risqué’.

To use anything more than very light touch tests, you’re going to need a healthy helping of calibration. But there’s one other thing you need to use ANY kind of touch test, too: congruence.

1 Year of Day Game: My Insights

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

15 insights from a year of day gameAfter one year of practicing day game, and 14 lays from it, forum member James D. shares his 15 key insights about meeting girls during the daytime.

This post, shared by forum member James D, originally appeared here.

I began Chase's approach 4 girls a day challenge on April 9th, 2023.

That was one year ago already!

Thought I'd share some insights from my own experience.

This won't be anything new. Everything say I say has probably been mentioned on the site before.

That said, everyone's experience will differ and you might find something useful in mine.

Rewarding and Punishing Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

rewarding and punishing girlsReward girls to encourage helpful behavior you like. Punish them to discourage unhelpful behavior you dislike. Do both to make your love life much easier.

Note: this is an old post of mine that guys liked a lot from back in the mASF days. It dates to around mid-2007… so if you notice any stylistic differences here, well, this is coming from a younger and less polished me.

Whether during the initial pickup or in a relationship of any kind with a chick, rewarding and punishing is crucial. A lot of guys will make the mistake of trying to alleviate bad behavior by kissing up to a girl, trying to distract her, or going overboard and getting angry or reactive. None of these are the correct solution for maintaining both your value and your attainability in the interaction or relationship.

Most guys in the pickup community who are successful at picking up girls recognize the importance of rewarding and punishing during the pickup: if you don't punish bad behavior, she will think you are a pushover, lose interest, and blow you out. If you reward good behavior, she will try harder to make you happy and hopefully the night will end with a romp in the sack. Where a lot of guys drop the ball later on is in the relationship stage.

The fact is, most of the guys you will talk to simply don't think of their relationships in terms of mapping a girl to behave the way they want. But it can be done, and it's not terribly difficult - and it will make your relationships that much more enjoyable, supportive, and strong.

So here's a challenge: begin looking at your relationships in these terms. Everything your girl does can be interpreted as either good behavior or bad behavior. If you like what she is doing, you MUST reward her, or else she will likely stop doing it, forget about it, or just think you don't care. If on the other hand you DON'T like what she is doing, you must punish her, or she will keep doing it and lose respect for you all the way.