Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Raise your rate of girls saying “yes” to dates with you by asking them out with a soft close. Be smoother, get more dates, & experience fewer rejections!

If you listened to my lengthy interview with legendary playboy Skills, you may recall a section of the interview (near the end) where we spent time discussing the use of a soft close.

(the gist of what we discussed was Skills’s approach to texting soft closes girls after he takes their numbers, while my approach to texting soft closes girls before taking their numbers; either one, by the way, works – it’s more a matter of stylistic/game preference)

A soft close is a way to create a short yes-ladder that eases girls into a date with you.

Rather than smack her in the face with a high pressure date request out of the blue, you baby step her into agreeing to a date – raising her comfort, your smoothness, and the odds you turn this girl you’re having a conversation with into, first, your date, and then, your lover.

Today we’ll look at how to use soft closes.

Some nights you go out and the night just goes bad. Maybe you got too many rejections. Maybe you’re just being unsocial. Here’s how to get back on track.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about state control and share valuable tips whenever things are not going how you want. These suggestions can help shift the momentum and get your outing back on track.

This post is primarily for night gamers who frequent bars and clubs, but you may apply these tips to any situation. I emphasize night game because it often relies more on your state, mood, and momentum. However, momentum influences all types of social interactions, with a particular emphasis on night game, especially your micro momentum. This refers to the momentum you experience during a specific outing.

Night game is more of a performance act. You require a great mood to convey better energy and guarantee hooks while benefiting from different strategic openings and options and tackling all the potential wildcards in chaotic environments. Past interactions affect subsequent interactions.

When we consider social proof—when women see you interact with other women, you will realize how this affects future interactions. The opposite is true—when you are not seen with other women and are a lonely wallflower, or worse, viewed when repeatedly rejected, it will sink your future interactions. It kills your good mood and overall vibe and erodes the perception others have of you.

Night interactions are interconnected, though they often include episodic elements that vary depending on the venue and strategy used. Day game tends to be more focused and contained, which presents advantages and disadvantages. It’s easier to change locations and start anew if you face massive rejections. It’s more challenging because you won’t have the benefit of social proof.

Of course, past interactions can affect future interactions in day game, but mostly internally. Your overall mood and state can determine your vibe and, in turn, your overall delivery and success of your interactions. In my experience, these effects are less pronounced than in night game.

When you are at a club, and things start to go downhill, you likely have noticed that interactions usually worsen. You may begin with a poor baseline. After forcing yourself to make a few approaches, things just don’t go your way. Courageous as you are, you move on but notice future interactions do not seem any better—they get worse. You may lose all motivation and stop approaching. The night ends with wandering around and, at best, some half-hearted interactions.

Men get inconsistent results in night game because they slip into the downward spiral of a negative loop as they struggle. Now that you know some mechanisms behind your poor night, we can discuss the solutions.

We can address two key dimensions with solutions: the mental and the social dimensions.