When it comes to dating and seduction, most guys understand value. Be as valuable as you can. Become smooth, cool, learn game, get cool clothes, a nice haircut, and get in shape. But what most guys miss is that attainability loses you a lot more girls than you think.
In this video, I go over the three types of attainability problems that lose you girls, how to recognize them, and how to fix them.
Part 2 of my One Date model is live!
You can view it here:
You must calibrate your approaches and interactions to the social
context you find yourself in. What’s that include? Exposure, vibe, and
appropriateness.
Welcome back to this series on calibration, guys. Last time, we discussed what is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of calibration: calibrating to her level of interest and her overall response to your moves.
This time around, we will discuss another key aspect of calibration. Again, if you manage to understand the concepts and the theories, as well as the techniques covered in my last post, you will do well. I swear. If you also manage to master the ideas of this post, you are already a pretty good seducer, for sure.
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But like I mentioned in my previous post, there is no way one can become good at calibration without field experience. By this I mean failing and succeeding. Both give valuable lessons. Do not be afraid to mess up. Instead, jump into it, take a risk. If she doesn’t like it and she loses attraction? Well, as long as you did not cross the line into “overly offensive,” then no big deal, move on, learn from your mistake. And the next time you meet a girl in a similar context, you will be more calibrated.
These posts will serve as guidance to shorten the learning process. It will help you get better at calibration by helping you learn faster from your field experience. These posts will give you an overall idea so that you are not left in the dark, but keep in mind that you can only truly understand the points I am about to cover after having experienced them in real life.
Additionally, when it comes to calibration, there are unlimited nuances (so many that it is literally impossible to cover them all in posts). I can only give you the big picture, as an understanding of the small details are best acquired through in-field training. For example, every girl and every context differs. So many factors play in that dictate the outcome of an interaction:
And each of these have almost infinite variations.
However, with experience, you can create a model that has a high success rate.
For real, I have never seen a guy with a 100% success rate, but I know that an average of 1/5 from a club is doable. And let’s be frank, isn’t that more than good enough? It surely is for me.
A story about a guy who never bothers to develop his social skill
set. How does life unfold for a man who chooses not to learn to
socialize and date?
Lucien was always a bit of an outsider. Though he wasn’t one of the nerds in school. Sometimes he joined in on making fun of them, just to prove the point. Mostly he just ignored those kids though. He had his own loose group of friends he rolled with: Elliot among them.
After high school, they mostly went separate ways. One friend went to a community college, and another went to work in his father’s construction business. Elliot and Lucien both went to a state university.
The two friends had heard stories about how easy the women were at Trent State. They anticipated a bountiful stream of willing coeds in school. Their long years of high school dry spells – they thought – were done.
They arrived on campus and looked around. Hot young girls in tight pants and mini skirts everywhere. The girls sat on park benches. Walked down campus sidewalks. Laughed with friends and hung out alone. “Geez,” said Elliot. “This place is a gold mine!” He looked at Lucien. “Come on, we’ve got to talk to these girls!”
Lucien went with Elliot, and Elliot chatted up a pair of girls seated on the grass. The girls seemed to like Elliot – they laughed at his jokes and brushed at their hair. But Lucien didn’t know what to do. Elliot seemed like he suddenly knew all the right things to say; Lucien just felt adrift.
Elliot tried to include Lucien – “This is my best friend Lucien. He’s one of the most awesome people I know” – but all Lucien could do was spit out a few boring lines of conversation and both girls would return their focus to Elliot again. Eventually Lucien gave up his attempts to talk. He watched Elliot for a while, but began to envy him. So he stopped watching, tuned out Elliot and the girls, and stared off into the campus.
Okay, video #1 is out.
You can give it a gander right here:
When she texts you “maybe” or “we’ll see”, what does it mean? Why
do women text this? There are ways to reduce this happening – as well
as ways to deal with it once it happens.
A reader named Daniel writes in:
“Hey guys,
I have been gaming for a few years now, and I notice a theme. When I ask a girl to hangout via text, there are certain responses that women commonly give- and I consider them all to be negative. We’ll be texting each other, and when I ask her to hangout or suggest it she will either say: “We’ll see”; “I’ll let you know “; “maybe ; or go silent. Obviously, I get some positive responses, but any variation of these 4 tends to be the common negative ones. Any tips on how to respond to each? Or better yet, could you write an article on girls responding negatively or questionably when u ask them to hangout via text?”
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Ooh, yeah. That’s an ugly message to get:
These texts always suck. They suck for one major reason: the girl implies she holds all the cards.
This is not a gracious message. When she texts you “maybe” or she texts you “we’ll see” it is an “I’m-going-to-tell-you-how-it-will-be-and-you-will-be-waiting” message. Each of the above responses implies you want something, and she will decide later whether you will get the thing you want or not.
In this article, we’ll talk about some firefighting tactics you can use if you get this. But more importantly, we’ll talk about why women send this message in the first place, and the ways you can avoid ever even getting this message (most of the time).
If some guy tells you “bros before hoes”, you should probably put
your guard up. It isn’t always a conscious thing when men violate this
rule, though.
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Whenever I hear a guy say “bros before hoes,” my first thought is “Sure, unless there’s a really hot ho in the room.”
As with most morality, you can rest assured that if someone is espousing it or is enforcing it on others, it is in the service of self-interest. This doesn’t necessarily negate the positive outcome of enforcing the specific ethic, but one should be skeptical of anyone virtue signaling, because despite the possible positive outcomes of the ethic, you might still become a casualty when the espouser doesn’t follow it.
This is the nature of trust, is it not? You expect one to act a certain way, especially since they’ve professed to be a keeper of such virtue, because you will bring them into situations where, if they don’t follow it, they could hurt you.
Unfortunately, almost without exception, every person who earnestly supports an ethic will at some point contradict it.
Thus it is highly advised that you be careful who you give the chance to put one over on you.
Now, I’m not saying that nobody is your friend or that any guy would cross you if it lands him a hot girl; but I am saying that, most of the time, he will, excluding the following conditions.
His chances with the girl are low, even if he does cross you
You provide A LOT for him
In other words, he might be able to tool you or be rude to you for a girl, but he probably won’t if his odds with the gal are low, or if you provide for him, socially or monetarily. That girl’s pussy might feel good, but is it worth losing a connection? This is how sociopaths think twenty-four hours a day.
This may seem like a cynical view, but my experience says otherwise. You can see the dark truths of the world and still be optimistic. You can love life but not walk down Southside Chicago at 2am. It’s unnecessary.
Same with thinking that guys are going to value your friendship over the prospect of pussy. It’s unnecessary and ignores the primal truth of the world – we’re in this for the pussy (and the gals are in it for the cock).
This should be your first assumption with most of your friends, if not all of them.
I’ve
been on innumerable first dates over the years. And I’ve coached all
sorts of students through limitless more dates. And if there’s one
thing you find out, it’s that the
first date is absolutely, inescapably
crucial to how things play out the rest of the courtship.
The
first date is a make-or-break event. Hit a homer on the date,
and the rest is pretty magical.
A great first date makes your date partner comply more with you (she does what you ask of her). It causes her to cut you more slack (i.e., she’ll let you get away with more). And it piques her interest in you (now she wants where things go with her and you!).
But there’s plenty of opportunity to botch the first date, too. And a lot of folks do, a lot of the time. There’s all this uncertainty: you don’t know your date well yet (certainly not as well as you’ll know her later on... if all goes well). You don’t know what she likes, what she’ll respond to... what ‘does it’ for her. You might think you do – but you don’t. Not yet.
Even if you’ve known her a while, well... people have their ‘social
selves’, which is what they present to their friends and
acquaintances. Getting her on a date is about getting past this social self (and finding
out whom she really is).
On top of it all, you may not be all that sure what to do with your date, what to discuss, or where to take her. So in addition to all the question marks of your date herself, there is also the question mark of the date.
And the more question marks there are, the rougher things get.
In this article we’ll look at 11 of the most fatal mistakes you can make on first dates.
But don’t worry – we’ll also talk about how to avoid those mistakes, to make your first dates go as smooth as butter (and make your date melt like butter while she’s out with you, too).
You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with
them. This means you need to know how to read her signals,
punish/reward, persist, and more.
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A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.
A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:
“Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...For instance, on a macro level:
How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:
How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?”
These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.
This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.
First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!
That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.
Great goals and a great plan are important – but they don’t mean
squat if you don’t execute. There are 10 aspects of execution: focus,
discipline, choice, plus 7 more.
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4. Visualization and Affirmations
5. Commitment, Drive, Sacrifice
In Part 1 of this series, I illustrated a five-step system to create and track your goals and progress.
This system has worked for me extremely well this year, and I’ve managed to do more in my life than I ever thought possible.
I also showed you in Part 1 how to structure your life in your own custom way to start accomplishing your goals. However, it’s important to understand that no accomplishment is possible without actually doing anything. A person can plan for life all they want, but if there is no execution, nothing will ever happen.
So let’s get into the most important factor of ensuring that you actually do what you desire to achieve – and that is the question of execution.
