Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Guys Who Struggle to Approach Girls: The Stages of Approach Problems & Abilities

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

causes of (and solutions to) approach anxietyWhy is it so hard for you to talk to girls? There’s more than one reason men struggle to approach girls. From anxiety to trauma, the causes vary – as do the solutions.

This post written by COCPORN and edited by Carousal originally appeared on our forum here.

This is a draft. I want this to be a helpful article over time, please contribute. This article draws on information from Levine and Berceli, and makes assumptions that they’re right. I’m looking for more clearly defined stages and overall correctness. I hope this can help diagnose problems and make it easier to prescribe the correct remedies for different situations.

A personal note from me to you: If you decide to comment or answer to this, reflect on where you’re currently at personally in terms of opening.

Carousel: This is a post written by COCPORN in 2014. Much of it is still valid. I have made comments some places with my 2020 understanding of the topic. The topic is that AA is not just one thing, hence there is a lot of confusion about what it is on how to solve it. Note that this is advanced material, so please take time to try to understand us before you disagree. Also please read THIS thread explaining TRE and other therapies before you read this post, otherwise you won't understand the terminology.

Intention: To create a helpful tool for escaping problems related to approaching. This tool will work by identifying the stages of approach problems and presenting solutions to them. At this point there might not be solutions to all stages. I’ll try to present the solutions I’ve personally seen for the different stages. I’ll also try to theorize around some solutions to different stages, but these will be clearly marked. I’m not necessarily looking for new techniques with this article, old and proven methods are welcome as suggestions to solving the different stages of approach problems.

Problem: People have problems approaching. These problems range from deeply rooted to superficial. Even without deeply rooted problems related to approaching, there often seems to emerge a pattern of avoidance or forceful exposure.

Carousel: This is why you see so much disagreement on causes and remedies to AA - people are in different stages and some of the more advanced guys may never have even been in the worst stages described here, while the hardcases have only been in the worst stages. Of course these guys will have zero understanding of each other both in terms of perception of the problem and devising an useful solution. I have personally gone through all of them so I can relate to most of the perspectives.

5 Differences Between a Pro Pickup Artist & an Intermediate One

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

the path to pro-level pickup masteryHow do you tell a pro-level pickup artist from a flashy mid-range one? There are 5 obvious ways – from his foundation to how he handles “bad nights” & more.

Hey guys and welcome back.

What differentiates a real pro pickup artist from an impressive intermediate? You may want to know how to spot the difference.

True pros are a rare breed. I would not recommend looking for them.

But if you find a candidate from whom you wish to learn, this post can be helpful.

The details below will give you an idea of what pickup mastery looks like. Many men have a flawed ideal of “the successful seducer.” They think that the guy who is flashy and makes girls giggle is a so-called “natural.” Most likely, he is just so-so. True mastery is subtle, and we often define this by the factors below and what we call “flash game.”

I consider myself successful, but I am not talking only about myself. I have gone out with top guys, and this post also references these experiences. I know that they agree with my observations.

How to Date and Sleep with Absolute Stunners

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to land an absolute stunnerGetting regular girls is cool. But how do you step it up and really date the total knockouts? Here’s what it takes to get the stunners – and what you have to do.

Recently we had a thread on the forum by a member asking “How do you get the absolute stunners?” He asked:

I have noticed that there’s a certain level of attractiveness I seem to be unable to get.

I might number close these stunners at the mall, or on the streets, but it’s usually the same outcome —either they text back a bit and ghost, or they never text back or pick their calls.

I have a triple digit lay count so I don’t know if it could be a “game” problem as I am not a novice.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I know it all —if I did, I would be getting those stunners.

So my question to you guys, those who have actually done it —how did you get the 9s and 10s?

You know, those girls that you walk with and everyone stares…

She gets compliments from strangers every single day…

Every woman wants to be her friend…

Men, complete strangers, are nicer and go out of their way to please…

When you walk with her you feel like a god.

How did you get these type of women?

Better fundamentals (suit and tie)?

More successful (got the dollar bill$)?

Better game (some advanced technique that hypnotizes them and makes em drop their panties)?

Better venue (maybe some locations just makes it easier to lay hotter women than some)?

Social circle?

Would love to know.

I just recently resumed gaming after taking some time off (was mostly getting laid from IG) and my no 1 goal is to get the stunners this time around

This topic (landing and bedding stunners) has long been one of the most hotly debated in dating circles. Men from various schools will claim that only their school leads men to the true Stunner Promised Land. Muscle guys insist you need muscles to land the babes. Money guys insist you need money to get them. Status guys insist you need fame or high position in social circle to get them. Game guys will tell you it’s all just a matter of having the right game.

The (perhaps controversial?) truth is that pretty much every avenue CAN WORK, and it is possible to meet, date, and bed stunners however you want to go about it. The guys who haven’t tried an avenue and swear it can’t work are keyboard jockeying. The guys who have tried an avenue, failed to make it work, but succeeded at landing stunners via another avenue are more interesting – their failures tend to come from misapplication, underapplication, or not playing to their strengths. We’ll talk about all these below.

But we’re going to start today by clearing away the myths around stunners, so you can view these gals through a much more realistic – and far less fantastical – lens.

Female Non-Receptiveness Is the Male Non-Approach

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

does a girl being unreceptive = uninterested?If you approach a girl and she isn’t receptive, does that mean she isn’t interested? Actually… often it doesn’t mean much at all. IOW: she MIGHT indeed want to date you…

This post by forum member fog originally appeared on our forum here.

Mike Mehlman, a PUA from Japan, wrote a thought-provoking article that suggests that the default setting of girls is to be non-receptive, just as the default setting of guys is to not approach.

Think about your first time approaching a girl. You felt hesitation (approach anxiety), right? He says that women feel a form of hesitation when they get approached as well, so you shouldn't sweat it when a girl is unreceptive right off the bat.

Anti-Logistics: Picking Up When You Have No Logistics

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

how to succeed with no logisticsHow do you pull girls without logistics? With an advanced strategy dubbed ‘anti-logistics’: you get HER to solve the logistics HERSELF!

Hey guys and welcome back. I hope you are all doing okay.

Today, I will discuss an advanced topic. It isn’t hard to understand, but it may be hard to pull off. The subject is about pulling and logistics.

When you think about a guy pulling a girl, where is he likely to take her?

  • His place

  • Her place

  • Another location, like an after-party

Generally, you take her to your place, but if that does not work, try to go for her place, and if that does not work, you look for an alternative.

Taking her back to your place is usually the ideal choice because you control most logistics. You know where your place is, who lives there, and what to expect.

See How to Take Her Home and Extract Her Back to Your Place

But, this may not work. Some girls prefer going back to their place, and that’s fine. It may even be the most practical call if she lives alone and nearby.

You may not live alone or live far away. So, you cannot pull back to your place easily. Going to her place is generally the second-best option. This requires her to have good logistics (live not far away, have her own room, etc.). That’s why you should screen for her logistics. For details, see Going to Her Place: Tools to Get You More “Yes”es

Also, check out this post by Chase: How to Go to Her Place Smoothly, Even If You Just Met

And sometimes, no options work, and you need to be creative. Perhaps a friend is hosting an after-party? Maybe there is an option for public sex? Now, this gets trickier. Not only is public sex illegal in many places, but you have many logistical unknowns. (How are the logistics at the after-party?) You usually need to work harder as those pulls require more compliance.

We define the latter scenario can as the “no logistics” scenario—you have no clear plans about how you intend to shag her. Did you get an invite to a stranger’s after-party? You do not know the logistics there. You have some logistics if the after-party is at a friend’s place.

I wrote an article on this subject: How to Hook Up When You Have No Logistics. Today, I will build upon it by discussing how to succeed without logistics.

This post stems from an old saying from Captain Jack, an old school PUA, who claimed that if a girl really likes you, is aroused, and wants you, then logistics will create themselves, or she will try to resolve the situation, and everything will become easier.

But reaching that “point of no return” is easier said than done. It’s not simple and requires some luck. You need more than just having a girl like you or having her be horny. You need a higher compliance level beyond what is usually necessary to pull her back to your place or hers.

So, what can you do to increase your chances of making it work?

No, the Hottest Women Are Not All Models, Actresses, and Influencers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

are models and influencers the world's hottest chicks?Are the world’s hottest women working as models, actresses, & influencers? Are they only accessible to high status, wealthy men? No… and here’s the proof.

How to Spot a Bad Girl: Sneers, Condescension, & Underlooks

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to spot a bad girlBad girls show you they’re bad girls before they even speak. They do that through their facial expressions. Spot them & avoid destructive relationships.

Over the years, I have tried to save friends from dating very bad girls. These efforts are generally unsuccessful. The friend will continue to date the girl I tried to warn him against. The girl ‘plays nice’ for a bit, but eventually starts doing some very bad things. In the end, the friend gets burned.

Sometimes these friends have come back to me and told me I was right all along and are amazed at how I knew. However some guys who date girls like this go bitter against womankind in general – bitter because they picked a bad apple, then extrapolated that out too far and wide.

I don’t want you, Dear Reader, falling into the same trap these poor saps fell into – both those who escaped embitterment and those who did not; because both men end up burned either way.

Today, I am going to teach you to read facial expressions better.

In particular, I am going to teach you to spot a bad girl, and the particular facial expressions she will use.

Do You Have to Be on Social Media to Get Girls?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

is social media a romantic requirement?Half of young women spend 3+ hours a day on social media. But what about you – must you be on social media if you hope to get girls?

The other day, a forum member posted a video of social media influencer Michael Sartain talking about (among other things) the crucial importance of social media to getting girls:

I only watched the first 10 minutes or so. However, in that 10 minutes, Sartain makes a number of strident (one might say absolutist) claims about how social media is the present and future of socializing. He suggests that if you’re not using social media you’re a dinosaur who’s been left behind socially. You can’t have a social life without social media and you’re not going to get girls without social media, Sartain submits.

Longtime Girls Chase readers will know I find this position silly. But I haven’t discussed it in-depth in over a decade. Since then, a number of new social media platforms have emerged. People are every bit as crazy about social media now as they were when I first wrote on it, and you will still find social media mavens like Sartain harping on about the pivotal importance of social media to one’s friendships, love life, and career.

So, has anything changed?

Has social media indeed taken over in the dozen years since I last wrote on it – and made those not all-in on social media ancient relics which time forgot?

Stuck on How to Meet New Girls? Just Approach!

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

in-field stress: getting unstuckGuys can make meeting new women a lot more complicated than it needs to be. Whether you need to build momentum or just get into a social mood, start by making an approach.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today’s post is beginner-friendly and may benefit intermediate players (and even pros).

It covers an in-field philosophy that has helped me tremendously.

It’s one thing what game looks like on paper and quite another how it unfolds in real life. Sometimes, all those openings and windows you see the pros talk about may be less apparent in the field when you are out there doing it. The scenarios described here may not look the same when you are out.

Is it because my setting is different than yours? That may be true, but it’s rarely the cause. The primary reason is that you often do not see openings. Why? You might be so stressed that your attention is elsewhere. Your attention may be inward, reflecting on your mood, or you could be distracted by something irrelevant. Perhaps you are unable to decipher the openings.

The opportunities are ripe for the picking, but you are simply not seeing them.

Or you may not see them clearly.

Perhaps the problem is that you have not created those openings.

The result? You may begin to stress, feel anxious, demoralized, and demotivated.

This in-field stress happens in both night and day game but is more prevalent in night game. It’s partly due to the intimidating nature of night game (cool looking dudes, intimidating bouncers, chaos, many hot, dolled up girls). In day game, it could be due to approach anxiety. But you will experience far less chaos during the day, making it easier to see openings and opportunities.