Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Stop Being an Incel (Yes, Seriously)

Chase Amante's picture
how to stop being an incelWhen you’re an incel, it’s like being stuck in a deep, dark hole. If you’re ready to climb out of that hole, here is how to stop being an incel – seriously.

There’s not a lot of help for drowning men.

When men struggle, the world leaves them behind.

It’s different for women. We protect and coddle women. Women are precious. They birth the next generation and raise them.

But men are replaceable. One guy ain’t getting the job done? Switch him out and put another one in his place.

Meantime, the men who don’t make the cut slip down through the cracks. They slide down into blackness and despair, perhaps never to rise again.

That’s where I came from, a long ways back. I was a man trapped in benighted helplessness, chained to my own misery, alone, forgotten by the world. For a decade, I drifted by myself in a black sea of anguish, each day a walking nightmare of pointlessly going through purpose-devoid motions in my out-in-public isolation.

Today, of course, I walk a different path. I have been with innumerable women, many of them beautiful, many of them amazing. I’ve bedded models, had relationships with gorgeous architects, economists, and the daughter of a South American politician, and am used to being chased after by women for whatever I want with them. I have awesome friends and more cool social contacts than I know what to do with. I also happen to run the largest men’s dating advice website in history, GirlsChase.com, which over the past 17 years has been honored with 64 million visitors, and served a humbling 14,000 customers. We’ve had thousands of men tell us how meaningful our advice has been and what an impact it’s made on them – more than a few insisting that we’ll never know how much it’s helped them.

This guide on how to stop being an incel is for those men out there who are, like I was all those years ago, trapped in a celibacy they’d tear their eyeballs out to be out of. It is a guide I suspect only I can write – because after having spent so much time on either side of the coin, I know well both how despairing it is to be the man deep in the hole, and how maddeningly futile it can be to be the one trying to reach down and pull him out of it.

Before we begin, to put off the guys who are suspicious – yes, Girls Chase is a commercial site; no, I do not sell anything in this article. As a matter of fact, if you are an incel, I am going to suggest you do NOT do most of what is on this website (cold approach pickup), and that you do not buy any of our products or anyone else’s. At least not yet. Perhaps in a year or two. I’ll tell you why when we get to that.

First though, let me tell you a bit about me.

Lay Report: NJ Sets Up a Threesome

Skilled Seducer's picture
two girls kissing NarrowJNarrowJ finagles his way into a threesome with a girl he’d been seeing casually and a girl he’d just met. As he puts it, “the vibe after we’d slept off was what you’d expect.

This post by NarrowJ originally appeared on our forum here.


I've gotten dangerously close to a threesome only twice in my life.

The first time, I was 19 years old and snuck in a girl's house when she had a couple other girls staying the night with her. I fucked one of them, fingered and made out with another, and the third girl was a virgin who did nothing but watch (although she touched my junk a couple times at the request of the other two girls haha).

The second time I got oh-so-close was about a year ago. That field report is here, if anyone's interested in reading.

So, Saturday night, I finally lived the dream. I can now die a happy man.

P.S., if you only want to read the juicy parts just scroll down to where it says in bold "Things Get Interesting"

There's Not Much Competition to Date the Best, Most Beautiful Girls

Chase Amante's picture
the best girls have few suitorsThe highest mate value women – beautiful, sweet, & amazing – often have few good suitors. The trick? Girls who market themselves & girls of high mate value often overlap but little.

“Women have impossible standards,” the conventional wisdom goes.

“The prettier she is, the pickier she’ll be.”

“The hottest girls are drowning in suitors and simps.”

This all seems to make sense when we think about it. Men want the best girls. The best girls should have lots of choice with men. In fact, they should be slammed with offers from the highest value men, making it such that ordinary men shouldn’t even be able to compete.

Yet every day, you can find beautiful, sweet girls paired up with totally average men. Men who are unexceptional in their looks, intellects, wits, charm, physiques, and bank accounts. Most of the time these men don’t even have ‘game’, the stuff we teach on this website. If you ask them how to get girls like this, they’ll offer you vapid platitudes like “just be yourself” and “sooner or later the right girl comes along.”

These pairings have befuddled hopeful daters since men started dishing on dating on the web. How do these ordinary guys meet these girls? How do they keep them? Why do these girls choose THEM?

The raw – and at first counterintuitive – reality is simply this: there’s just not a whole lot of competition to date the most beautiful, most amazing girls.

Mindsets of a Nightlife Seducer: Beginning the Night

Alek Rolstad's picture
mindsets of a seducer: early nightAlek Rolstad walks you through the mindsets of a seducer as he prepares for a night out on the town – plus what goes through his mind early on in his night.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today’s post has a different focus. While it may seem like a report, it is not. I will present a hypothetical scenario to illustrate my thought process in the field. Instead of analyzing the interactions, I want to discuss the various mental states I experience that guide my decision-making during an outing. My goal is to create an introspective reflection that reveals what occurs when facing different situations and challenges.

I have historically tried to incorporate this aspect in my field reports. However, most reports focus on events, such as the conversations, techniques I use, reasons behind their effectiveness, the girl’s responses, and my reactions to those responses. As a result, there is little room to explore what goes on inside my head.

I initially wanted this to focus on a specific outing. However, upon reflection, I realized that the outing I chose was similar to many others I’ve experienced, and my thought process is the same. Using a hypothetical scenario based on actual events gives me more flexibility. This approach allows me to create more hoops and settings, and I can better describe how I react to them. I am not confining myself to the narrative of what actually happened.

Before I begin, note that I am making these scenarios more negative than usual. This lets you see my mindset and strategic decision-making skills in handling challenging situations. They may seem more difficult than your typical outing. So, do not let this demotivate you. Most outings will be more favorable. The key is that despite unfavorable situations, you can still use your skills to turn the tide.

Skilled Seducer of the Month, February 2025: Atlas IV

Skilled Seducer's picture
Skilled Seducer of the Month, February 2025: Atlas IVFebruary 2025’s Skilled Seducer is Atlas IV, an up-and-coming seducer blasting through sticking points left, right, and center. Read his interview here.

What to Do After Unprotected Sex

Alek Rolstad's picture
risky sex: what now?Things got a little too frisky and in a moment of passion you left protection aside. What steps should you take after the act to ensure you stay clean?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Note: This post addresses the aftermath of unprotected sex, which is a scary experience for some individuals. If you are in this situation, please read this post; it is for you. The sooner you read it, the better off you will be.

In my two most recent posts, I covered the important and often uncomfortable subject of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), discussing what they are and how to prevent them. These posts contain valuable information beyond what is typically found on standard sex education websites. I cover methods such as PrEP, a medication that helps prevent HIV, as well as one that helps reduce contracting gonorrhea. Additionally, I highlight some lesser-known facts about various STIs. I encourage you to check out these posts for more insights.

In my opinion, a playboy must educate himself about STIs. It is important to understand them and learn how to prevent their transmission; condoms are just one of many tools at your disposal. Prevention methods not only safeguard your own health but also protect others. As a playboy, you increase your risk of exposure, putting others at risk as well. It is essential to master this knowledge for everyone’s safety.

Please remember that although I have written these posts, I am not a health care professional—just someone who has done considerable research. The purpose of these posts is to provide an overview of available information and help you understand your options. With this knowledge, you can consult your doctor or health care professional to discuss your best choices. Their expertise takes precedence over mine.

In this post, I will discuss the aftermath of unprotected sex. Say an accident happened; perhaps the condom broke, or you were swept up in the moment and forgot to protect yourself. Now, it’s the next day, and paranoia has set in. Regardless of how you’re feeling—anxious or indifferent—this guide will help you understand what steps to take next.

Operant Conditioning: Response Size & Big Picture Focus

Chase Amante's picture
operant conditioning response sizesOperant conditioning (or behavior shaping) lets you modify how people act through rewards and punishments. But in ‘mixed case’ scenarios things get tricky…

I first wrote about operant conditioning a dozen years ago in my article on using for behavior shaping inside romantic relationships. If you haven’t read that one, or it’s been a while, read it first, because this article builds upon it.

The quick summary is that through rewards and punishment, you can direct another person’s behavior. Reward her, and you’ll get more of that behavior. Punish her, and you’ll get less of it.

Today’s article focuses on some nuance in operant conditioning. Namely: how the size of your response affects reinforcement/discouragement… plus the importance of focusing on the big picture too rather than exclusively the small one.

Tactics Tuesdays: Prefacing

Chase Amante's picture
prefacing your statementsPrefacing lets you approach women or issues in ways that they’d push back on otherwise… yet, with you, thanks to you prefacing, they accept (& even enjoy!).

Tiny little tactic here that lets you get away with lots.

Generally there are some subjects in conversation you cannot touch. Certain sensitivities, criticisms, or, alternately, certain proposals. Things that if you accuse someone of them or suggest them raise so many hackles it can blow the whole conversation up.

Sometimes, too, you’ll meet hot-tempered people quick to jump to conclusions every time you manage to utter more than a few syllables. These individuals can be particularly hard to talk to, as they personalize nearly everything you say.

Finally, there are things you might say – including many of the openers you deliver to women during cold approach – that might be hard to swallow on their own. They seem incongruent or hard to believe. A woman might think you’re just yanking her chain.

The one tactic you can use to route around each and every one of these problems is prefacing; where you use a short prefacing statement to pace your listener’s understanding before diving into the juicy stuff.

Social Circle Escalation Windows Are SHORT; Be Ready to Pounce!

Skilled Seducer's picture
TEXTYou may think because you know a girl she’ll cut you some slack. But if you’re at a party or a bar with her, the windows she offers you may only be quick!

This post by RDawg originally appears on our forum here.


Social Circle is something that I have been really trying to “nail down” lately and I’ve noticed a few things about it.