This one’s Part I of a 2-part special request for an old student of
mine from Denmark.
We had the opportunity to catch up, about a week ago, after not
having spoken in a while. One of the things we discussed was love
at first sight; in particular, how frequently we experience
it and whether it’s always been that way.
For me, love at first sight began as a spontaneous event that
occurred
maybe 2 to 4 times per year: I’d go around, most days nothing, but
then, one day, some girl
would pop out at me from the crowd, and she would be PERFECT. Even her flaws would be
perfect. For whatever reason, I’d be crazy for her.

Over time, I’ve trained myself to spot girls I’ll get this feeling
for even more readily, and now sometimes I’ll run into multiple girls
I’ll get this feeling for in the course of a week. It’s certainly much
more common than 2 to 4 times a year for me now. There are other
factors involved than training, of course, too (preferring to spend
time in big metropolises with lots of beautiful, fashionable women
makes this much easier).
For my alumnus, it’s gone in the reverse direction: he used to feel
it now and then until he met his high school girlfriend, a
love-at-first-sight coupling that ended when she tore his heart out and
stomped it underfoot at 17. At 35 and dozens of lays and
relationships under his belt, he’s
never felt ‘in love’ with a girl
since, and never experienced love at first sight again.
I asked him, and do you think she just raised your standards so high
no other girl can meet them, or do you think she just hurt you so bad
you haven’t let yourself feel anything since?
He told me it was the latter.
I gave him my thoughts on getting some emotional freedom, and on
training oneself to experience love at first sight more often. But he
asked me if I could write an article on the subject too.
So here, it is, split into two parts: Part I, on stripping yourself
of fear of love and romance, and next time, Part II, on finding more of
those girls that you are just crazy about.