Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Should You Even Bother Dating Jaded, Cynical Girls?

Chase Amante's picture
woman pouting as man tries to shake her handJaded, cynical girls: those girls who always shut down your moves. “I know where this is going,” they say. “I’m not easy!” Are they WORTH bothering with?

I had a conversation recently with a seducer who has been frustrated with girls coming out onto dates who put walls up and do not allow seductions to happen.

This particular playboy meets a lot of girls from online, so he doesn’t get to compliance test or vibe check them in-person first. He only gets to see how well they connect on the date.

His problem closing these girls is not a general problem. He does fine ending up in bed with plenty of the other girls he takes out onto dates.

But with a certain type – the type I dubbed ‘jaded/cynical girls’ in my article on the different camps women fall into in terms of their perspectives on men – he just hits a wall.

As I commented to him, these girls can be gotten. But the question is, even if you can get them, are they worth it?

Mindsets of a Nightlife Seducer: Late Night Game

Alek Rolstad's picture
navigating the final stepsHow does a highly skilled playboy mentally navigate the later stages of a night on the town? Come along with Alek Rolstad and see the mindsets of a talented seducer late into the night.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post will continue my exploration of strategic decision-making and cognitive process in-field. Like last week, I will present a hypothetical scenario that reveals my mental approach to various situations. I am choosing a hypothetical scenario because it allows me to discuss different outcomes, which I cannot do in a real-life report. It also allows me to create the most challenging setting, providing the best examples. The scenarios I present are inspired by actual events and are snippets of different circumstances I have experienced.

Today, I will discuss taking a girl to my place after extracting her from a club.

This phase is often a tense moment for many. You’ve put in much work and are close to the goal! Things can screw up at the last minute, and that can seem scary. You may become needy, or you may be overly careful. Needy because you really want this to work, or overly careful because you do not want to mess things up. Both stressors are not ideal.

Neediness will kill your chance of success and may upset her or make her feel uncomfortable. If you are too risk-averse, you may miss your window of opportunity and set the wrong frame—now, she views you as a non-sexual male. If the wrong frame continues, she will feel tired and not in the mood. You waited too long.

Next, I will share how I mentally manage these situations.

Tactics Tuesdays: Self- vs. Other-Pointing

Chase Amante's picture
self-pointing and other-pointingPointing at yourself or others as you set emotional frames anchors those emotions to the pointee. Can you use this in seduction? You absolutely can…

A recent study examined US President Donald Trump’s use of pointing to connect with his audience. The study authors note

Results show that (i) inward points are associated with first-person references; (ii) outward points are associated with second person and third person/object references; (iii) downward points are associated with locative expressions; (iv) looping marks plurality and inclusiveness and (v) internal complexity is associated with expressions of number, time, sequence and comparison.

The authors further note that “Trump uses pointing in the kinesic performance of right-wing populism to entertain his audience, to engage with them more directly, to steer their attention and to align himself with them as a man of the people.”

While academia may just be catching up, the use of pointing has been with us since before we were human (apes, for instance, are known to point).

And one place we’ve long paid attention to the usefulness of the point is in neurolinguistics programming.

Eliciting Values & Details from Women in Conversation

Skilled Seducer's picture
eliciting from girlsConnect deeply with women by diving into their values, motivations, and experiences – then, after you’ve elicited these, stimulate on their responses.

This post by Glow originally appeared on our forum here.


A subtle but powerful key to managing conversations with women.

Game Generation One tended to rest a lot on spitting game; the art of leading and plowing with multiple stimulating techs. This is definitely useful. Using statements instead of techniques followed. Muti-threading conversations and other techniques came next. These are the more famous ones. Other schools of seduction used other means for conversation management and there are many routes for it.

One such more subtle form of driving, managing and leading convos is elicitation:

  • to evoke or draw out (a reaction, answer, or fact) from someone.

  • to draw forth (something that is latent or potential) into existence.

In a seducer’s view, it becomes the art of drawing out her world, to engage her in talking about her. To draw her out. Doing so is a subtle but powerful way to grab attention by activating her, by showing interest for her. And you are leading what she brings out.

At the same time she feels interest for her world, and if done well, it will take her to interesting things she has not connected with in a while. Perhaps never really thought about. Another dimension is that she becomes reactive to you. And the experience is very nice for her. So many good things.

How to Motivate Yourself to Pick Up Girls

Chase Amante's picture
getting motivated to pick up girlsYou want women in your life but you can’t get off the couch. Are you lazy? Or are you just not doing what’s needed to MOTIVATE yourself to pick up girls?

We get guys periodically asking for help solving motivation issues around approaching and picking up women. Not the least of these being Sub-Zero, our long-time commenter who has long struggled with drive issues. Here’s a recent comment by him on the subject:

Actually getting some drive back, but still don’t have the drive to deal with everything that comes with the ups and downs of dating. I’m horny all the time and when I’m sleeping with women I’m always pleasing them, so I know that’s not the issue. I just don’t have the drive to keep going if things aren’t working out and quit. It makes me wonder how other guys can have no kind of success and can keep doing it. How do I get the drive to keep practicing and getting better instead of quitting?

All right then. Let’s talk about motivation.

I’ll see if I can come at it from a different angle than our many other articles on the subject.

First off, a couple of points:

  1. This article is not a “you should be doing this” moral lecture. If you aren’t driven to approach or pick up girls, and you don’t want to be, that is fine. This guide is a tool, not  an order.

  1. This article is also not a mandatory thing you have to follow even if you want to pick up. If you want to pick up girls, but just occasionally, and are happy with how it’s going, stick with it.

This article is for men who want MORE motivation to go out and approach more women but are struggling to find that motivation.

In other words, this is the article for men motivated to find the motivation to go out and pick up girls. Copy that?

Mindsets of a Nightlife Seducer: In the Middle of the Night

Alek Rolstad's picture
seducer's mindset in the middle of the nightHow does a skilled seducer think about ‘the game’ as his night out progresses? Take a tour through the inner workings of master seducer Alek Rolstad on an example night on the town.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I am working on a series that explores my inner thoughts, particularly my mindset while in the field and my strategic decision-making. Using examples from a hypothetical scenario, I can discuss both potential and real-life situations. I deliberately create non-ideal scenarios filled with unfortunate circumstances and challenges. This approach lets me provide more effective examples.

Your night out will likely be more enjoyable than this hypothetical outing. That’s why I didn’t include a real outing or typical field report. The focus here is more on my techniques and what occurred, and the circumstances would probably be more favorable in a real situation. However, these hypothetical scenarios are inspired by actual events.

Last week, I discussed the earlier portions of the night, including opening and finding a lead. In last week’s hypothetical scenario, I decided to change venues as my leads in my first venue had dried out. When entering the new venue, I meet a new girl right away. This post covers the hypothetical scenario of mid- to late-game and my strategic decisions. I will also cover the hoops I may face and how I navigate them.

Why Feigning Disinterest (Usually) Does Not Work

Chase Amante's picture
don't feign disinterestIf a girl’s not investing as much, you may be tempted to feign disinterest. But all too often this technique is see-through. Here’s what to do instead.

It’s a pretty common strategy for guys who are learning to do better with girls to try to feign disinterest in them.

After all, you figure out pretty quick that there’s a whole power balance that occurs during the courtship dance. Show too much interest, your attainability goes too high, she feels like she’s “got you already”, then her interest in you drops to zero.

So it’d make sense to try to reduce how much interest you’re showing by feigning actual disinterest – you’d think.

But as you’re about to see, feigning disinterest much of the time is not going to work out the way you hope it will.

Instead, all too often, it backfires.

How to Stop Being an Incel (Yes, Seriously)

Chase Amante's picture
how to stop being an incelWhen you’re an incel, it’s like being stuck in a deep, dark hole. If you’re ready to climb out of that hole, here is how to stop being an incel – seriously.

There’s not a lot of help for drowning men.

When men struggle, the world leaves them behind.

It’s different for women. We protect and coddle women. Women are precious. They birth the next generation and raise them.

But men are replaceable. One guy ain’t getting the job done? Switch him out and put another one in his place.

Meantime, the men who don’t make the cut slip down through the cracks. They slide down into blackness and despair, perhaps never to rise again.

That’s where I came from, a long ways back. I was a man trapped in benighted helplessness, chained to my own misery, alone, forgotten by the world. For a decade, I drifted by myself in a black sea of anguish, each day a walking nightmare of pointlessly going through purpose-devoid motions in my out-in-public isolation.

Today, of course, I walk a different path. I have been with innumerable women, many of them beautiful, many of them amazing. I’ve bedded models, had relationships with gorgeous architects, economists, and the daughter of a South American politician, and am used to being chased after by women for whatever I want with them. I have awesome friends and more cool social contacts than I know what to do with. I also happen to run the largest men’s dating advice website in history, GirlsChase.com, which over the past 17 years has been honored with 64 million visitors, and served a humbling 14,000 customers. We’ve had thousands of men tell us how meaningful our advice has been and what an impact it’s made on them – more than a few insisting that we’ll never know how much it’s helped them.

This guide on how to stop being an incel is for those men out there who are, like I was all those years ago, trapped in a celibacy they’d tear their eyeballs out to be out of. It is a guide I suspect only I can write – because after having spent so much time on either side of the coin, I know well both how despairing it is to be the man deep in the hole, and how maddeningly futile it can be to be the one trying to reach down and pull him out of it.

Before we begin, to put off the guys who are suspicious – yes, Girls Chase is a commercial site; no, I do not sell anything in this article. As a matter of fact, if you are an incel, I am going to suggest you do NOT do most of what is on this website (cold approach pickup), and that you do not buy any of our products or anyone else’s. At least not yet. Perhaps in a year or two. I’ll tell you why when we get to that.

First though, let me tell you a bit about me.

Lay Report: NJ Sets Up a Threesome

Skilled Seducer's picture
two girls kissing NarrowJNarrowJ finagles his way into a threesome with a girl he’d been seeing casually and a girl he’d just met. As he puts it, “the vibe after we’d slept off was what you’d expect.

This post by NarrowJ originally appeared on our forum here.


I've gotten dangerously close to a threesome only twice in my life.

The first time, I was 19 years old and snuck in a girl's house when she had a couple other girls staying the night with her. I fucked one of them, fingered and made out with another, and the third girl was a virgin who did nothing but watch (although she touched my junk a couple times at the request of the other two girls haha).

The second time I got oh-so-close was about a year ago. That field report is here, if anyone's interested in reading.

So, Saturday night, I finally lived the dream. I can now die a happy man.

P.S., if you only want to read the juicy parts just scroll down to where it says in bold "Things Get Interesting"

There's Not Much Competition to Date the Best, Most Beautiful Girls

Chase Amante's picture
the best girls have few suitorsThe highest mate value women – beautiful, sweet, & amazing – often have few good suitors. The trick? Girls who market themselves & girls of high mate value often overlap but little.

“Women have impossible standards,” the conventional wisdom goes.

“The prettier she is, the pickier she’ll be.”

“The hottest girls are drowning in suitors and simps.”

This all seems to make sense when we think about it. Men want the best girls. The best girls should have lots of choice with men. In fact, they should be slammed with offers from the highest value men, making it such that ordinary men shouldn’t even be able to compete.

Yet every day, you can find beautiful, sweet girls paired up with totally average men. Men who are unexceptional in their looks, intellects, wits, charm, physiques, and bank accounts. Most of the time these men don’t even have ‘game’, the stuff we teach on this website. If you ask them how to get girls like this, they’ll offer you vapid platitudes like “just be yourself” and “sooner or later the right girl comes along.”

These pairings have befuddled hopeful daters since men started dishing on dating on the web. How do these ordinary guys meet these girls? How do they keep them? Why do these girls choose THEM?

The raw – and at first counterintuitive – reality is simply this: there’s just not a whole lot of competition to date the most beautiful, most amazing girls.