Tao of Steve | Girls Chase

Tao of Steve

Explore the three tenets of the Tao of Steve seduction method: 1. be desireless, 2. be excellent, 3. be gone.

Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 3: Be Gone

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Tao of Steve: Be GoneTo get a girl to chase you, you can’t chase her. Instead you have to be, well… gone. Here’s how to be gone, in line with the ever-cool Tao of Steve.

All right. It’s been some months coming, but here we are: the third and final installment in my Tao of Steve game analysis: be gone.

If you’re just tuning in, be sure to read Parts 1 and 2 here (without reading them, you’ll still get value from this post, but it’s not going to be the same without Desireless and Excellent in your pocket):

  1. Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 1: Be Desireless

  1. Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 2: Be Excellent

I reached out to Duncan North (the seducer whose game we are breaking down) to see if I could interview him for this third installment. He had a seduction blog he ran some years back, but abandoned a decade ago, so I didn’t expect he’d likely still be reachable but, still, worth trying… however it seems, in typical Steve fashion, he truly is gone.

Since there’s not much info on North’s actual tactics or strategy for the ‘gone’ part of the ToS triumvirate, I shall fill in the blanks myself.

Fortunately, “being gone” has long been a specialty of mine. There are few seducers better equipped to talk about the art of seducing through absence – which is part of what made me want to write this series in the first place.

So let’s have a look at seducing her… via not even being there (sometimes).

Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 2: Be Excellent

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

tao of steve be excellentTo make women chase you and deeply desire you, you must be better than other men. You must be, in a word, excellent. The Tao of Steve shows how.

Last time, we talked about the first part of the Tao of Steve’s trifecta of seduction maxims, be desireless.

People all want what they can just barely not have – and an attractive man who is personable with her but who for some reason she cannot seem to get to chase her drives a woman wild.

Of course, if ALL you have is desirelessness, it’s not enough.

Buddhist monks are desireless, but you don’t see women lining up to tear their robes off. Ditto for asexuals – no girl’s trying to wriggle her way into Mr. Asexual’s My Little Pony khakis.

Thus, we arrive at maxim #2 from the Tao of Steve: Be Excellent.

But not just any kind of excellent.

The kind of excellent that makes women want to rip your clothes off and get lewd.

Seduction According to the Tao of Steve, Pt. 1: Be Desireless

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

tao of steveThe Tao of Steve gives men 3 rules to seduction. The first of these is “Be desireless.” But just how does being desireless help you hook in girls?

In the early days of the seduction community, a little-seen romantic comedy became a hot topic of discussion among seducers.

That film was 2000’s The Tao of Steve, about an overweight male kindergarten teacher who routinely beds new women following a simple formula:

  1. Be desireless
  2. Be excellent
  3. Be gone

The film (which won an award at Sundance) isn’t something cooked up from nothing in the brain of a Hollywood scriptwriter.

It’s actually a biopic of a man named Duncan North, who the scriptwriters became intimately familiar with (pun intended – he slept with one of the writers & actresses when she was in her early 20s – the one who plays his counterpart Dex’s main love interest in the film, Syd. Another fun note: Dex’s house in the movie was actually Duncan’s house in real life).

Here’s how they described Duncan in an interview:

He’s a good-looking heavy guy. You wouldn’t suspect him of being any sort of lothario. One friend of his told him if he lost a little weight maybe he could get some women. And he said, dude, I’ve had more women than you’ll ever have in your life. Another time, Duncan had this really good-looking roommate and they ended up liking the same woman. The good-looking guy said, “You’ll never get her.” And of course she went for Duncan.

Jenniphr Goodman, the lead scriptwriter, lived with her husband and Duncan for 1.5 years in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and while there she picked his brain on his approach to life and women.

The result was The Tao of Steve, and Dex’s (Donal Logue’s) three rules for success with women, a sort of boiled down, structured approach to Duncan North’s method.

Many guys have gotten a lot out of the movie. One online quote about from a now-deleted Reddit board reads

The first time I saw the Tao of Steve, it had a major effect on my game. In fact, it was the first time I had really thought about game and why and how it works. I had always been vaguely aware of the fact that some people simply held more attraction than others, and that this attraction didn’t neatly correlate to physical appearance. But the idea that a person could actually learn and perfect the art of attraction, regardless of their physical appearance, was a new, and captivating, concept for me.

What’s so great about the Tao of Steve?

I’m going to put the Tao of Steve under a microscope in this series.

It’s a fun, different method from most of what you’ll find in modern game styles – but actually had quite a bit of influence on the early seduction community.