Seduction

I was recently browsing around the Internet reading articles women wrote advising other women on dating. Many of them had subjects along these lines:

• “We need to stop going for assholes”
• “It’s time for us to start dating better men”
• “When you meet a man who’s a dick, just PASS!”
  

Of course, the subtext there is all the same: we have to keep lecturing ourselves to stay away from these guys because we just CAN’T stay away from these guys... we can’t help ourselves!

Women are addicted to men who are “all wrong for them.”

Once their late twenties or early thirties or so, most women shift into talk about how they were foolish in their youths for passing up good guys or going after bad boys, but how they’re all over that now and that’s in the past.

Essentially, they reach an age where they stop treating nice guys like dish rags and instead start considering them for something more committed and long-term...

... yet, when they meet the sexy bad boy, they still make “bad decisions” with him anyway, even though they’re supposedly “reformed” and “past all that.”

The easiest way to think about all this to keep yourself from going crazy is this: if you really want to do well with a woman, be her guilty pleasure.

Sex is a fantastic thing – for both men and women. But unfortunately, many women find themselves dissatisfied with their sex lives for one reason or another. Sometimes they settle for a guy who doesn’t have very much value. Sometimes they can’t find a guy at all.

And sometimes…the sex is just too vanilla. The girl walks away lamenting the fact that the guy was unable to truly take control of the situation and give her an unforgettable experience.

And if there’s one secret I can share with you, it’s this: girls are always looking for that guy who will give them an unforgettable experience.

So how do you put yourself in the position to have wild sex with pretty girls? And what do you do once you get there? That’s what we’ll be covering today.

What I am about to share now is one of my own personal magic bullets, and in my opinion the strongest attraction switch there is. The concept of sexual prizing has gotten me so many lays these last years that it has revolutionized my world. I came up with this concept back in 2007, and it has basically rocked my world since then. Thanks to this concept, my life for the past seven years has become better than I have ever dreamed of.

In this post I will lay down the concept and also the history behind it. Of course, this post will be an introduction, so keep in mind that there is a lot more to say about this concept (which I probably will discuss on future occasions).

If you ever wondered what was required to become perceived as a lover (and many of you have asked me such a question), then consider this post a must-read for you.

An assumption that a lot of men make when they first get into seduction is that they need to be something more than just a man to have sex with. They assess that women have nearly unlimited options for men to sleep with, and thus that they need to build more value and hold something “special” so women will want them and be attracted to them.

However, when men feel like they have nothing to offer a woman because she already has hundreds of other men clamoring to have sex with her, seduction becomes very difficult. Those men have nearly no sense of purpose guiding them towards becoming better with women, because in the end they just feel like they’re pulling sleight of hand to have sex with her.

This, in essence, is a very idealistic scenario, where inexperienced men assume that women just want sex and have so many options for it that any chance of them getting into the system is futile. So they try to build value in other ways – by being a friend or provider in lieu of the commonality of sex.

However, seduction is a venereal experience. How one experiences sex determines its value. When men have been removed from this experience, it becomes very easy for them to forget that sex is about much more than the physical act. It’s about the experience that sex entails that brings about great value to a man who is able to give the best of experiences.

Commenting on “What to Do When a Girl Won’t Go Home with You”, Blogster asks about what women’s responsibilities are in the mating game and where a man must “draw the line” when it comes to trying to make a girl his:

“Do take your point on this one. However, at what point does all the game advice for men cross into the territory of a woman’s jurisdiction?

With each piece of advice about how to handle situations and tighten your game, it sees more and more of the woman’s responsibility being transferred over to men.

One of the admirable traits of men generally is that we are self-motivated and proactive and take charge. We look for our own mistakes and correct. However I feel the manosphere and valuable dating advice sources such as girlschase makes the mistake of swinging too far with the attitude of ‘if it didn’t go well, you the man did something wrong, or should of done something better’. Accountability is good, assuming complete agency is ridiculous and unrealistic, as it assumes the man has the capacity to control all relevant circumstances affecting a pickup and that by improving and fine tuning technique results will come.

The implications for this are obvious – women are just automatons and have no individual preference, attraction will occur reasonably successfully if you master the right techniques smoothly and ultimately, that women have no agency as adults.

It also plays into and reinforces current societies frame regarding relationships – that the man must do all the work and its the man’s fault if something goes wrong or the seduction doesn’t occur.

Increasingly also I see double standards in advice being doled out. For example, a recent post spoke about how to deal with judgement. It says its crucial not to judge women, yet women are by far the more judgemental sex and constantly do so on a broader range of factors.

A man is expected to skilfully disarm a woman’s judgements, but a woman is not expected too because otherwise she ‘won’t open up’. Does it occur to you that maybe men don’t open up because of female judgement and thus lose out? Yet the onus seems always on the man. Put it this way, if your friend was constantly dodging responsibility and being unnecessarily judgemental would you pander to him?

A man is expected to overcome his approach anxiety by himself. Is there any advice anywhere that says about how women should ‘help the man through his approach anxiety’? Of course not, yet there is plenty of expectation that a man should smooth and ease the women in the last moments before seduction.

In this instance, I feel it pushes the ‘responsibility balance’ of game even further towards the man. Soon all the woman will have to do is show up!”

This comment no doubt reflects a lot of men’s frustrations over the travails of mating – I’ve heard them the world over, in any number of different cultures, and if you read back through history you can read of men from all ages complaining of the same things.

So what are women’s responsibilities in dating and mating? Do they serve as just passive recipients of men’s advances? And if at first you don’t succeed – how many times should you really try and try again?

In “How to Use Astrology with Girls", Balla puts in a request in the comments section:

“Yo Chase, I think you should make an article about un sexy friendly guy traits. Like how you mention not to hug because it’s platonic, sending girls pictures/asking, laughing or smiling to much and a few other things guys might not know what they’re doing that are very hard to detect. You just point out all the negative mannerisms and characteristics and tell us what we should do instead. I think it’ll be a great article.”

I thought this would be both a fun article to do, and one that hopefully will point out to some guys some harmful thinking they might have going on, and things they’re doing with girls that they’re shooting themselves in the feet with.

So, here goes... 12 traits that all boring, unsexy nice guys have in common.

Men are nuanced beings in many ways, but there are also some very certain ways in which men are actually quite simple. And there are a few things about all men that I know to be true:

1. Men like hot girls (whatever “hot” means to them and assuming that they’re straight)

2. Men like getting laid (no further qualification needed here)

3. Men (straight men, anyway) like getting laid with hot girls

And yet, the unfortunate truth is that so few men are able to make it to step three. Some guys get laid with massive infrequency and with mediocre looking girls. Some guys are unable to bring hot girls into their lives, and if they do, are only able to do so playing the role of orbiter or solid friend zone friend. Some guys are able to sleep with a hot girl by fluke or once in a blue moon.

And then there are the few. The few men who are able to get laid with a high amount of consistency – regardless of location – with the most beautiful of women. They don’t do so all the time, but definitely often enough to keep the good times rolling. And even when they come short, they have enough core confidence to not even care anyway.

So today I want to talk to you about how to become one of the few.