In my four-part relationship model, GISS, the first ‘S’ stands for ‘security.’ Security, as I use it for relationships, means a few things:
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Trust that you are who you seem to be.
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Trust that you can be relied upon for what’s required.
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Trust that no outside forces or events can upend the relationship.
The reason I don’t simply call it ‘trust’ is because all these kinds of trust together create a feeling that the relationship is secure. Yet in the absence of this trust, or as the trust erodes, a sense of insecurity prevails.
How secure should you aim to make your relationships? Many men strive to give their women a sense of total security – greater security, in truth, than they can realistically deliver.
It’s a chaotic world out there, full of uncertainty and unknowns. Just as your woman seeks security in her relationship with you, you bear the responsibility of deciding how strong a sense of security you will give her… and whether you can live up to the impression you allow her to have.
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