Is She Shy or Does She Just Want Attention?

It can be tough to determine if a girl is interested but shy… or just wants your attention. Use these telltale clues to figure out which camp she falls in.

Hey guys, welcome back.

(Advanced guys will benefit the most from this post).

Last week I discussed hooking and dealing with positive, neutral, and negative responses to your openers and hook gambits.

I mentioned situations when the girl responds positively, yet not as favorably as you’d like: not positive enough to make you feel comfortable escalating the vibe (touching, sexualizing, etc.).

Perhaps the vibe is great. The girl is smiling, laughing, and displaying many signs of interest, yet you feel stuck and unable to escalate.

She is so hot and cute. You think, “Finally, I am meeting a girl who seems interested!” You want to play it safe and not make a move.

Right off the bat, let me say that this is a terrible strategy.

Remember, any interaction that stagnates and doesn’t move forward will erode. The only exception to this is when the girl is part of your social circle, in love with you, and things will work out anyway. And even then, a stagnating interaction is potentially dangerous.

Consider those typical “all-nighters” with a sweet, compliant girl you believe is genuinely into you. Both of you spend time together, laugh and have fun, only to face major resistance the moment you try to escalate. The best-case scenario: you part ways. The worst-case scenario: some random jerk picks her up.

Never let the interaction stagnate. You have two choices:

1. If you make a move, things either work out and go uphill or not work out and go downhill.

2. If you make no move, things will not work out, deteriorate, and go downhill.

Why?

• She will get bored eventually. Women love the tension and stimulation from interactions when men escalate or attempt to escalate the vibe (assuming they are interested in the guy).

• If you do not make a move, you disqualify yourself as a confident, sexual man; therefore, she views you as an unsuitable lover. Bad.

• The frame becomes less sexual as the interaction progresses. But if the frame becomes more sexual, you are less likely to face resistance, including last-minute resistance the moment you try to escalate. The resistance from her cognitive dissonance is caused by experiencing two different perceptions that clash.

So, to calibrate, you need information. When she reacts positively, it’s a reaction you can calibrate to. You can calibrate differently if you receive a negative reaction. If the interaction stagnates, you get no reaction and no information you can calibrate to. You will be in the dark. Not ideal.

You can find more information here: If You're Stuck in a Seduction, Do This.

Let’s say you followed my advice and received a somewhat positive response from a girl (but not as positive as you’d wish, or she is not showing obvious signs of interest). Yet you make a move on her.

But some resistance occurs. Let’s go over four causes of resistance and how to deal with each.

First, a few words about compliance for review.