Female Mind

Note from Chase: about a month ago, we published the first article by Colt in our "Student of the Game" series, "How to Succeed with Women," and I asked the readers here if they'd like to see more from a guy who's still learning the ropes on getting girls. The response was "yes," and Colt's submitted another article for us here. Hope you enjoy.

It’s a dream of almost every man out there: to be irresistible to women. But, most men write this off as a pipedream.

Yet, this “pipedream” is a lot more attainable as a reality than most men think. And today…we’re going to focus on turning those pipedreams into pipe reality.

There’s a lot of debate in the self-improvement circles about where confidence comes from: does it come from within, or does it come from without? On this site we normally try to find balance, and in that spirit, usually settle on the fact that once you find a few ounces of confidence to start approaching, your inevitable success with women will only feed your inner confidence and make you more confident, more irresistible to women, and more successful – a self-perpetuating cycle.

But the confidence you get from working on getting better with girls isn’t the only confidence you can build - or even the most effective variety.

Rounding out this week's posts on what girls look for in men and what they value in men come 11 universal things women find attractive in men.

It's easy once you've been at this for a while to lose sight of explaining to guys how to attract women - like, what actually gets girls going and feeling some desire for a guy? Once you've got it down, it gets automated - and then your focus turns to, "Okay, now what do I do with it?"

It's also a lot faster to teach guys what to do with women they've already got attracted - they just have to throw a few steps and procedures into the mix and *BOOM!* - they're getting results. It's a lot longer of a process for a guy to internalize all the things women find attractive and begin morphing himself into that kind of guy (note: there're a lot more benefits to adopting these traits than simply wooing women - the traits that are about to follow are attractive in men for a good reason... namely, that they're extremely beneficial traits that help you succeed more in all kinds of life's arenas).

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, though. In fact, it's an essential element of getting truly good and consistent in picking up and getting the girls you want - ultimately, the more attractive you make yourself as a man, the more women you'll find want to get to know you better, and the easier your job (whether that's meeting THE girl of your dreams, or meeting a LOT of girls of your dreams) becomes.

Today's excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams lists out 11 things women almost universally find attractive in men, and the descriptions for each of those things.

So, you won't need to guess about what women find attractive - I spell it out for you in my book, and I'm going to share part of that spelling-out with you here.

In the previous article, we answered the question "What do girls look for?" as it relates to picking up girls – how you can become a man of higher value, how you can be perceived as having higher value and how you can leverage supply and demand in several ways to get an almost unfair advantage over other guys.

This week we’ll have a look at the value equation again, but from a different angle… this time, we’ll look at value under the lense of dating and relationships.

Read the other article first (linked to above) if you haven’t yet, just to make yourself familiar with all the fundamentals of what women value in a man, and then come back here and we’ll get started.

Read it already?

I take it you’re back… all right.

Let’s dive right in.

It has often been said that both sexual attraction and romantic love are “value based”… but is that really true and what exactly does that even mean? What do girls look for in a man?

And if it’s true that value and attraction are linked and women are attracted to men based on their value… would it be useful to know what exactly that value constitutes?

Would it help to know how you can increase your value in the dating market place… both in reality and in her perception?

Absolutely. Absolutely it would.

And we're going to go into exactly what it is that women look for in men and value in them, and what you can do to raise yours.

Now, before we get into the meat of how to attract women by being THEIR (the women's) most high-value option, let’s cover some background…

Here's a post that's sure to raise some ire.

Ricardus and I were discussing men's tendency to want to sleep with sexually open women, but to date or settle down with or marry sexually conservative women - and how difficult it is actually figuring out how many partners women have actually had because of this. You see, women are acutely aware of this male bias against sexually experienced women when it comes to getting into serious relationships - and they do everything in their power to avoid getting pinned as such a woman.

"Everything in their power" here including, sometimes (okay, oftentimes), stretching the truth, leaving things out about their forgotten pasts, and, well, lying.

Of course, women don't think of it as lying. It's more like, "Well, I slept with that guy on vacation, so he doesn't count," or, "That guy was totally gross, I should never have hooked up with him... as far as I'm concerned, that didn't really happened."

It's a form of selective memory used by a woman to preserve her idea about herself as fitting perfectly into society's recommended mold: that of the "good girl" who doesn't give it up too often to men. Women who do part with their bodies too easily, society tells women, aren't valued as highly, so it's a big no-no.

But, well, women are people, and people like and want sex, and sometimes it... just happens. Of course, a woman doesn't want other people to know it just happened... at least, not as much as it actually has just happened... because that impacts her perceived social and reproductive value.

So, she stretches the truth, leaves things out, and, where necessary, tells a lie or two.

Any women reading this site may not especially like this article, but if you're a man who's seriously considering a relationship with a girl, and you want to know what you're actually getting instead of what you're being told you're getting... how do you tell who's whom?

In a fascinating study by Kristina M. Durante of the University of Texas, Austin's Department of Psychology et al., entitled "Changes in Women's Choice of Dress Across the Ovulatory Cycle: Naturalistic and Laboratory Task-Based Evidence," researchers identified a finding that's at once something you probably already guessed was the case, but never saw hard evidence for before: that when women want sex, they dress for it.

Here're the findings of the research:

“Although each data source supported the prediction, the authors found the most dramatic changes in clothing choice in the illustrations [of what each woman would wear out that night]. Ovulatory shifts in clothing choice were moderated by sociosexuality, attractiveness, relationship status, and relationship satisfaction. Sexually unrestricted women, for example, showed greater shifts in preference for revealing clothing worn to the laboratory near ovulation. The authors suggest that clothing preference shifts could reflect an increase in female—female competition near ovulation.”

In other words, when women want sex as they approach the time of the month when they're fertile, they dress more provocatively to attract more male attention and out-compete other females.

When it comes to ways to tell if a girl is horny though, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

If you're like most guys, figuring out how to make her want you can feel like a full-time job. But if you look at people who have similarly-veined full time jobs in their own right, you can make making women want you go a whole lot more smoothly, and a whole lot more easily.

Take marketers, for one. Marketers have always fascinated me…

They really have the art of persuasion and influence down to a *science*… and that’s exactly what mastery of any skill should be:

A marriage of both art and science.

By way of an example, look at picking up girls…. There is the art, the intuitive part of game… the calibration, the spontaneity and simply being creative in the moment. Your right brain does all that.

But there is also the scientific aspect of pickup. From psychology and biology, we know a lot about what women want, and a lot of behaviors can be predicted – and even triggered – quite consistently.

It’s no different with marketing.