Socializing

“Abundance Mentality” is something that’s frequently prescribed as an answer to men’s neediness issues: approach anxiety, having a “weird” or “awkward” vibe, escalation hesitation, failure to invite women home. Anything where a guy comes off as hesitant or is nervous about achieving a certain outcome.

Men who know there are women everywhere, and know they can get women whenever they want, goes the thinking, won’t worry about it.

But in fact, a standard abundance mentality will only get you halfway there.

Want a really cool, sneaky way of getting girls to wonder about you and find you more intriguing? You can use something I call a question suggestion.

A question suggestion is, in a nutshell, a way of quite deftly placing a burning question about you into a woman’s mind and making her curious about you, without much more than a subtle drop of a hint of question into your normal conversation with her.

In competitive endeavors, it’s important to maintain a stout defense. Whether discussing military operations, or man-to-man combat, or sports matches, or guarding a company’s secrets against industrial espionage, it is of vital importance to have a strong, effective defense protecting oneself from one’s opponents.

But seduction is not a military operation. Nor are relationships competitive sports matches. And a lot of guys don’t seem to get this.

Ah, questions. Those dreaded devices that seem so adept at cornering us into places we’d rather not be. How do you get out of answering the ones you don’t want to answer?

It’s of great importance in socializing and seduction that you have a solid identity; this is common knowledge among us who travel in these circles. What often isn’t common knowledge is how much of an attraction-killer a bad label can be.

What’s a bad label? It’s anything that stereotypes you, pigeonholes you, or shuffles you away into a woman’s file box for, “Oh, he’s like THAT.”

I’ve been mentioning it for a while on here, but a friend pointed out to me recently that I have yet to actually flesh out something I’ve been referring to as the Law of Effort; henceforth referred to as the Law of Least Effort for reasons of clarity.

When I say the Law of Least Effort, what I’m referring to is a very simple, but very universal and little-understood, social rule common to all forms of socializing (not limited to courtship and seduction by any means, though certainly of substantial importance there as well, perhaps especially so). Basically, that the person who appears to put the least amount of effort out, while getting the largest amount of effort returned to him by others, comes across as the most socially powerful.

Note the italics around the word “appears” in that bolded section of the second paragraph. We aren’t necessarily talking about the person who is actually, literallytrying the least, but rather the person who is able to accomplish the most with the appearance of putting in the least amount of work.

Ask a guy what his LEAST favorite thing in socializing and seduction is, and it's usually going to come down to a few common issues. Here are a handful of those that we're going to focus on addressing today:

• “I hate it when things are going really well with a girl, and she leaves to go to the bathroom and when she comes back it's like everything's changed and she's more serious and there's this weird awkward vibe there now.”