Girl Has a Boyfriend? 3 Things to Do, and 7 Things NOT to

I loved the article, and I must say, you have a way with words. Recently I met this girl, and although I've only spent a little bit of time with her, I like everything about her, from how she looks, acts, to her sense of humor and laugh. But - and, yes I know, there's ALWAYS a but - she has a boyfriend (shocker, right?).
However, throughout the time I've spent with her, she hasn't once mentioned her boyfriend to me. The only reason I know he exists is because one of her friends brought him up. I'm taking it as a good sign that she's kept him out of the picture, but it has kept me from figuring out just how close they are, or, more importantly, how much she likes him. I'm tempted to take a step back and assess the situation a little bit more before making a move, but I can't tell if that'll be hurting my chances or if I should continue moving forward until I hit a wall.

This topic is nothing new. Men and women have been doing this everywhere in the world. What wasn't explained well in this article and what the author has failed is his argument that if a woman hooks up with another man than she is not happy. With psychology still being a young science and its progress we now know there are personality disorders among many. There are many disorders that can be masked very well and you'll have no clue someone is insane unless they choose to show that side of themselves. The supposed time frame it takes to get to know someone well enough to know if a "taken" girl is safe enough to date or hook up with, I could have been knee-deep in single women. A mentally stable woman's unhappiness with their partner is usually followed by calling the quits before hand. The mentally unstable or inexperienced ones are the ones you might see begging for forgiveness and restoration of their relationship. I find it uncomfortable and annoying when you're on a date with a girl with a bf or husband and she suddenly sees some friends ( or doesn't notice them) then they either tell on her or call their significant other who shows up on the spot. It's awkward to be on a date where the girl ducts under the table or runs off in fear of getting caught. The time I took out of my day to see some one I like to feel relaxed. Worst case, the bf or husband shows up unexpectedly (it could be the very first date!). Still this article has brought about discussion that doesn't get touched too often. I'm surprise to see how some of these guys don't expect a woman to cheat. As a human being you should always be prepared (or do your best to be) for the worst. Everyone should remind themselves that nothing lasts forever and that it's just a lot easier and less stressful bedding women without any thoughts of contracting an std, being stalked afterwards, and on top of that fighting to the death with her "one and only" all over some hanky-panky.

I've found myself falling into this problem recently with a girl that's in my local sketch group. However in her case she has a long distance boyfriend that lives several states over.
First of all the moment I met her I was instantly attracted to her. We have a lot of the same hobbies, interests, goals etc. She's a bit further along in her career and is doing quite well for herself.
We hung out at a few met ups, then at a friend's party, and soon after went Salsa dancing together. Salsa dancing by the way can get very sensual especially considering how close the partners have to be. Also a lot of intense looks into each other eyes. Our conversations flow easily and we have a lot to talk about together. Exchange messages over Face book, etc.
I noticed though that she would never actually bring up her BF in any of our get togethers and I thought that was a good sign.
Soon after though I caught myself sending her texts, asking to meet up, etc. Each time she would be unable to attend, be out of town, or wouldn't reply at all.
So after a few weeks of silence I see he at our meet up again and she spends the next 15mins telling me how great her BF is, their skype conversations, and the trips they're planning together. I just nodded my head like I gave a crap, didn't go too much into that topic and moved away from her.
Since then I've deleted her phone number and hide her on my Facebook wall.
I'm thinking at this point I had pushed a little too hard too soon and was giving chase. Now I'm just avoiding her as best I can so hopefully these feelings will fade away and I can find some new women in my life.

Thank you for this article...I asked out a girl that I met while working gave her my number and she texted at 3 am on a Sat night 3 weeks later when she was drunk I've been in a spell ever since I was doing some things bang on and some way way off texting her but I have havent seen her once...I realize now I've been played and it's time to move on I don't want her anymore...this article is what I needed...I need to pursue good women that would never pull those stunts!

There is this girl in my college class that I have been talking to for a few weeks. I mustered the courage to ask for her number and she eagerly accepted by giving it to me. We txt here and there, but not to much we initially made plans to have a study date for our class, but due to technological issues it did not go as planned. Both of us were a little hurt with each other and did not talk at all the next day, but being the guy I am just jokingly asked her what happened to our study date to which she said she texted me for she was at the location (she showed me the messages) I only received one of those messages "Hey!" to which i replied back, but she did not get my message so no one to blame. Afterwards we got a good laugh about it and continued talking. Most of the time she initiates the conversation to which we talk for a good twenty minutes before our classes start. Note I really like this girl, but was cautious on how I was playing it for I always assume they all have boyfriends so when you do find out they have a BF its not such a shocker to you. The other day while we were deep into conversation I casually asked her what her plans for the weekend were and she said she had to house sit for her neighbors and that was about it nothing to exciting so I suggested that we hang out. Now this is where things start looking bad for me she replies " yeah well see" again I was just making a suggestion we continue talking for awhile longer and then head off to class. After class we meet up and start talking while talking her phone rings and she answers and talks to the person on the other line in a sweet tone like how she talks to me. The person on the other line asked her a couple of times where she was at and if she was with anyone. She would look at me smile and just say I'm headed to my car. They kinda argued about something and then the conversation ended. I playfully say "Parents" she responds in a bleak tone "nooo my boyfriend" . After hearing those words I pretty much brushed it off and continued our conversation until I had to head to my next class. Why did she not mention her boyfriend to me at all before while we talked she even sits next to me in class. Sorry that this is so long just wanted to give you guys a good picture on what is going on.

I'm a 32 year old guy who apart from havin a regular day job has a couple of apartment units for rent. well, to make the long story short. Yeah the stuff you mention does work when there's a girl you want but has a boyfriend. I've actually done this a few times before. (Move fast, play aloof, be a gentleman) and it has worked liked a charm but this time it's different.

One of my tenants who has a bf (I've actually met the guy and he's quite nice, comes over during the weekends to see her) has been goin out with me for little over a month now. And yeah I've managed to bed her a couple of times already.

The thing is this though. I think I'm falling for this girl but it doesn't seem like she's ready to leave him for me. I've started getting jealous when the bf comes over during the weekends and all that. Sigh. I wish there was something I could do... To either stop feeling like this (I think I've actually been starting to get 'needy' with her already) or get it back to the 'fun', no strings arrangement it once was. Any advice?

Thanks a lot and more power man.

Bare with me, it’s complicated, long… and probably pathetic story. Let me start by just saying that I’m a guy, I’m 24 years old, and I’m sort of shy when it comes to talking with girls I like. I just have trouble holding conversation sometimes, I feel awkwardness every-time there’s silence, and I really never gain a connection with anybody… probably because I’m so tense and nervous all the time. That said, over the past year I’ve made strides to work on myself, build confidence, and put myself in situations well out of my comfort zone. (Now on to my problem)

We met back a few months ago at work, but I noticed her from the moment she started working there. Generally, I don’t usually try for work relationships (mainly because I believe they never work), but this was different. I was in a rut. I hated working this dead end job, and couldn’t wait to graduate, quit that hellhole, and get a real job. But when she started, I couldn’t wait to come to work to see her (she sort of gave me a reason to get out of the rut I was in at the time). Anyways, so after a little while (merely a couple, maybe 2-3 weeks since she started) I finally built up the courage to go talk to her and get her number (or rather give her mine). She texted me back and we sparked and hit it off instantly. I found out she was pretty much a dork like me and we related a lot. She even liked my humor, which not many girls usually do, and I enjoyed making her laugh and smile at work and over texts. So I finally decided to grow a pair and ask her out a couple days afterwards. She told me that she, and I quote, “literally just started something with someone (from work)” a couple days prior. I took that as, either she’s trying to be nice and letting me down easy or she was serious. So I playfully called her out on it, and it turns out she was serious. She even went on to let me know that she would’ve accepted my offer if she didn’t just start something.

After that, we continued staying in contact. I was proud of myself that I finally sacked up enough to ask someone out, and intended it to be a lesson learned to never wait again (when you feel something, just go for it I thought). I never knew we’d continue talking and connecting more and more, but we did. The fact that there was another guy in the picture was tough, but it became a challenge for me, I wasn’t going to give up on this so easily now. However unfortunately, that guy eventually did become her boyfriend that she continues to have today. When she told me they were together officially, I wished her the best and told her, “He was a lucky guy.” Outside I was fine, but inside I felt like I took a haymaker to the gut. I’ve even met her bf a couple times, and I don’t like him. Not because he’s an ass-hat or douche-bag or anything like that (actually take away the situation I probably could see myself being friends with the guy), but because he was with her and he beat me to her fair and square (which probably makes me sound like an asshole and a jealous competitive douche-bag). I’m sorry; I don’t mean to come off that way.

Anyways, outta respect for her, I didn’t want to try anything to break them up, and plus I didn’t want to put her in a situation to cheat on him with me. It wouldn’t be right for either of them, cause if I was in his shoes that would NOT BE COOL (then I’d really be a douche-bag). And then of course, there would always be that thought of her doing that to me if I was with her after that (and I didn’t want that). So I decided to wait. I thought, maybe after a while she’d finally realize the other guy wouldn’t work out and then I could make my move. I didn’t want to put all my eggs in one basket, so of course I tried to pursue other woman… but no one compared to her. I couldn’t stop, thinking about her. Soon we text each other daily, and nightly and those text eventually became flirtatious. I’d hint every now and again that I’m still interested, but I’d never blatantly told her outright how I felt (I didn’t want to put her in that situation to make a choice), and plus I didn’t want to lose her (for whatever this is).

But now, I want more. I don’t want to tell her and make things awkward and unpleasant for her, it just wouldn’t be fair to her… Yet, is it fair to me to sit back and wait? I can’t lose her, but I’m not someone’s Back-up Plan (I’m better than that, and I deserve it… so does she). I’m so cautious now, because I’ve had my heart ripped out in front of me and trampled on so many times by people that I eventually became so numb to the fact of the situation that I just didn’t care anymore (hence the rut I was in). For a long time I just gave up on getting a girlfriend… In fact, I’ve never even truly had girlfriend before (which is why I’m not sure I know if I’m in love, or lust, or I just like her). I don’t want to lose someone who I KNOW has mutual feelings, and I’m not the only one who sees it. SHE’S told me that her friends have seen both us (her and I), and them (her and the bf) together, and think we’re, “more natural” than her current, what they called “forced” relationship. But, it’s not their choice, or mine for that matter to make. It’s hers. So I guess the real question is what do I do? Do I risk it, tell her how I feel, and hope she accepts me for it? Or do I continue doing what I’m doing, and wait it out till she decides? I feel like the real life Ted Mosby here… and I could really use some advice from a couple of Marshall and Lillys right now.

Hi,

I am having an affair with a married lady and I am married too. She happens to be from my school and from a social networking we came to know each other. After 3-4 mnths I took her to bed and since then doing so till now. The problem is that another of my frnd has proposed to her but he is always wid her over phone or chat. That friend happens to be my rival as one point of a time he tried to abuse me for that girl but what he got in return from me, he then backed off and now keep relation with her in hiding, so that his family does not come to know. Both of the guys stay quite far from that lady so the other guy meeting her is out of question.Myself in the meantime enjoy all the pleasure while the guy like a lady tries to convince her against me over phone or chat.

Please let me know if I should carry on with this relation or sway past.

Thanks in advance.

I thought this article was very interesting and correct on some points. Trust me, boys, if a woman is 'into' her man...and still WANTS...him, his body, his dick, etc... She's not going to pay attention to you. I'm a perpetual flirt. Could be, like the author's own gf, I am a 'tease' as well. I don't share my bedspace or bodyspace freely, a choice I deem as an intelligent one after working in healthcare for many years and knowing...the end results of promiscuity. (Condoms do not protect us from all STDs, fellas!) And I have been told by past bf-s that I'm a total flirt and lead poor, hapless men on quite often. I'm just outgoing...is how I have always seen it. Of course I'm not going to blow-off an admirer, if he's respectful and has a decent vibe as a human being. Sometimes, I don't even realise he is trying to make an advance, as some men are extremely subtle, and will have you believe they really aren't interested in YOU, but are truly only interested in what their conversational tool (to get at you with) is. Still, I don't put on a 'get back stare' for seemingly harmless guys in situations/environments that are obviously conducive/encouraging to flirtation and pick-up scenarios. So, I guess I'm a 'tease'. I don't like to look at it that way, and I apologize for any wasting of anyone's time. However, I don't plan to change my interactions. I like the attention a little bit, but mostly, I care about human beings..so I prefer a charming let-down to a rude face-off that will embarrass or hurt a man. I have no problems saying, "Oh, thank you, I'm very flattered, but...no thanks. I'm just not interested." Which I think is a decent way to draw the bounds without being a nasty person. I see it this way: I'm a sexy, attractive, and very approachable woman complete with a big dimple smile that probably makes me seem very easygoing, and add to it that I'm petite...and....endowed...I am therefore, much -chased. I cannot possibly blame men for their human and sexual nature, for 'putting it out there' with me on a regular basis. That seems cruel - because it's just human nature. I would like to apologize to any of the men whom I've ever...momentarily misled. But do believe me, fellas...if she wants you to take her out/spend time romantically, and she's self-confident,you will absolutely know. In my book, that is the BOTTOM line. The author here is correct - women don't play that game, in general. As for the whole 'OPP" issue here... I will tell you a 'secret' we women know about our own kind, discuss with our gf-s, and cannot...believe...you all haven't seemed to...figure out yet... IF SHE WILL CHEAT ON HIM...SHE WILL CHEAT ON YOU. Because she doesn't see cheating as a form of betrayal, no matter how 'bad' she claims she feels. I have quite a few gf-s who are serial cheaters. Trust me, no matter how wonderful/hot/amazing in the sack/and even WELL-ENDOWED with both their boy parts or their oral abilities...these women will CHEAT. Please do yourselves a favor... IF it's a fling you are looking for, and you are CERTAIN you will not 'fall' for this woman, or you are CERTAIN you can handle it when she later cheats on you (and you don't mind the possibility of an STD either), then STEER CLEAR. By ALL means. Additionally, to the author... You are VERY VERY incorrect about labeling women that have crazy ex-s as a poor choice/a 'stay away' label, etc... And I will tell you why. Are you at all aware of the CDC/NIC's recent study results pertaining to domestic violence incidence and frequency? It was conducted in the same way as any other medical study, with strict guidelines and parameters. As a woman in this day and age, with plenty of female friends, sisters, cousins, neighbors, co-workers...etc...all female... I wasn't the least bit surprised at the numbers that were released regarding this study. Neither were any of the 'big wigs' at the NIH and CDC, most of whom...are men. Turns out, you fellas will NOT be finding very many women out there who do NOT have a "psycho" ex, current, etc... That would be because the percentage of women who have not had recent experiences in those types of relationships is at a rock-bottom, all-time low. Less than 1/3 of adult women. Of that portion of the female population, only a small percentage are currently single, looking/available. That doesn't leave men with many options. You have the douchebags out there to thank for this lovely predicament which I personally label an "epidemic". And frankly - for all you decent men out there - the majority of men, actually - here is one of the BIGGEST reasons WHY the douchebags have accessed, abused, and harmed some of us women, myself included, before you got to us: BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE GAME BETTER THAN YOU. AND THEY POSSESS CHARM - for the most part- unlike the 'abuser boyfriends/husbands' characters you see on movies or TV. The REAL ones know and LIVE BY every one of the guidelines the author of this entire article and many like it, as well as this website - are trying to share with, and teach TO YOU ALL. The abusers KNOW how to 'get a girl'...hands-down. They are systematic at it, because they have emotional characteristics that make them much more able to separate their goals/desires/logic/lust from any sort of feelings associated with love and care. THAT is a personality disorder/mental disorder sort of issue, my dear gentleman friends...and it is a GOOD thing that you all need to come to a site/read articles, and learn through trial and error, what 'works' with women. The difference is that you men CARE about what 'works' because of what you want to do with that knowledge and ability once you have... which is have a wonderful partner & relationship, give and receive love and care, give and receive consensual sex, etc... THE DOUCHEBAGS do NOT CARE. They desire to be on the receiving end, and the receiving end only. And they don't know what personal boundaries are, and end-up also raping and sexually assaulting/abusing women, including their partners, without ever realizing what they're doing is...a disgrace. It's outside of their brain awareness paramaters, you could say. FINALLY... I would like to add that as a survivor of both acquaintance rape at age 16 and domestic violence, having a 'psycho ex' has NOTHING to do with what sort of relationship I will be capable of having with anyone. I have taken all the necessary legal and other steps to keep myself safe - have moved clear across the country away from the ex- and have a far greater appreciation for a real man after suffering for 12 years with a 'psycho'. I have always been reserved, sexually...until I'm ready to commit/there is care and intimacy... then... I am quite something else in private, intimately, with a devotion and loyalty that means a lot to me. And there are a LOT of women like me out there. I do know a few besides myself. HOWEVER, you will NOT change a woman who is a chronic cheater into being a loyal/devoted kind of girl. And just because I've been hurt badly, doesn't mean I'm a 'risk'. That's...idiotic. In fact, there are plenty of totally insane and psycho ex-gf's, wives, who are super-stalkers, if you ask me, and are JUST as much as a possible threat to me if I date one of 'their guys'. Worse, if you ask me, because most women sadly don't adhere to a "woman code/sister code". They will oust another female to get at her guy without question, no matter how good/nice/cool/etc a person she is. It's a shame, but it's the cold, hard truth. In fact...I'm seeing a guy right now whose ex-gf decided to show-up at his home, pounding on his door and yelling her insane head off at him, demanding to know whose car was in the drive (mine)/who he was inside with (me!)/etc... At a...not very ideal moment in time. (Of course! Stalkers know...esp the female of the species...) And knowing what you now know about my choosiness and the time I take in waiting to get sexual with a guy I'm seeing, you know he passed quite a few tests with me, and we'd been seeing each other for a while, had established intimacy/life storeis shared/etc... Definitely connected, definitely invested. Was it a poor 'investment' on my part? No. Because he's a fabulous guy and is just what I'm looking for at this time in my life. His ex is a nightmare...but one thing he did score points with me for - even more than before - and made me decide the next time we were intimate would be the full monty, not just the fun warm-ups, was his respect and and his logical, calm, contained response to this nutcase screaming on his driveway. He handled the entire situation with grace under fire, and showed me that he's entirely level-headed, and just a good, caring soul who got taken advantage of by a femme douchebag. It tells me he's strong, capable, and loyal. It tells me that he's enough of a man to endure, and even more of a man for peacefully exiting that horrendous situation. (Of course he will never call her an 'abuser'...just...'my crazy ex with problems'.) However, HIS crazy ex with problems is a danger to me. So, for the time-being, all future dates will end at my place, 'off the grid', off her stalker radar, and where we can relax and have a good time w/out any threat. Is it a bit of a pain in the ass? Yes. Is he worth it? So far, yes. But I certainly am not going to judge him based on the ex, nor am I going to 'ex' out a perfectly good candidate for companionship and great chemistry and lovin', because of some kook. I have fun when I'm with him, we are a lot alike, both confident, both love to be happy and have a good time, both hard-working, both single parents... and the sex...is off-the-charts. "SO waiting for"...would be his exact words. And for the record... he evidently was after me before I got rid of the guy I was seeing just before him. He can't believe I didn't realize he'd been checking me out for weeks before I stopped seeing the recent ex bf. NOT the ex-husband- I got away from him 2 years ago...this was a friend from back in the day that I'd reconnected with and we gave it a shot, and had been out for dinner/drinks together a few times...Which is where/when my current beau noticed me and started his game-plan, evidently. But part of why he ranks so high in my eyes? He never approached me. Checked me out, definitely, repeatedly, and thought he was too obvious. But he didn't breathe a word of any intimate interest until the day I announced I was single again. Then.. I believe his take was "all bets are off, GAME ON." At which point, he did what I must tell you guys is THE hands-down way to attract a self-confident woman with pretty physical attributes, personality, and intellect: Drop her a bread crumb trail. Just drop a few little 'come hithers' her way, because then...trust me, if she wants you, she WILL follow that trail right to your arms...and then some. ( ; And that is how you engage HER in chasing YOU. I'm still chasing...and love that I'm the approacher, overall, not the approached. Especially with having been abused...and MOST of us women, have sadly been abused...so, a lot of us will like having that feeling of being 'in control'. One little silly joking comment under his breath to me, complete with a blush and the sideways 'maybe my comment will be enjoyed?' glance, and he had me asking HIM out within the span of a week or so! Yes, you heard that right. I asked HIM out. It took a glass of good wine, that I will admit, but I asked him out in the end. He got my number that night, and changed things up just a little, by texting me so I'd have his # right away and starting up a very cute, fun, and funny convo from there. He ended-up getting me to spend time alone with him a few days BEFORE the scheduled date by texting me in the same way that the above article suggests...moving quickly...but not so fast that he scared me off. The immediacy was there, but the intensity was...loooow key. I want to ADD that little piece of information for all you men...as it was missing from the article. Yes, move quickly...but have it be...very laid-back. If my guy's tactic worked on me - a woman who had sworn she was 'taking a break' from romantic involvement, completely...LOL...then it will work for YOU all as well. BTW, I will not tire of this man anytime soon, that's for certain. I hope he wanted ME hooked/falling for him... cuz that's where he's got me after several months' time, and I SO did not see it coming. AT ALL. GOOD LUCK FELLAS!!

This was a very interesting read in the beginning, where you listed ways not to get into the 'friend zone'. However, my respect for this article dropped significantly as the focus went to how to bed the woman and get out as fast as possible.

The first idea is significant, as it discourages people from wasting their time if nothing else. The second is very devastating to the girl and her SO. It also made me more suspicious as to the intentions of men, there are too many assholes after a bootycall and one too many trying to 'teach' them how to do it.

Great article man. Twas very entertaining!

I personally enjoyed your article, key being your points on how women are people too. I couldn't agree more. So I'm curious if you could take the time to help me categorize this scenario, so I'm not approaching this with rose tinted glasses:
I've met a woman at work, and we've been smiling/speaking to each other little bits at a time over the last few weeks. It's starting to get to the extent that my coworkers have noticed that she's "looking for me" and that she "likes me." In a chat with her this morning, when asking her about her drive in the snow, she informed me her boyfriend drove her into work. I brushed that off with an "oh, I see," chatted another minute, then went back to work. With the little bit of info I just gave here, do you have any thoughts on this? I'd definitely appreciate the advice.

One reason girls say "I have a boyfriend" is to test how far we would go for them. The "nice guy" would apologise and walk away. Real men would push on to get her number and then into bed. That is attractive. So many girls admitted to me later that they don't really have boyfriends. Persistence Pays.

Personally, I don't agree with the idea of marriage, the shackling of oneself to another person forever, for the sake of people pleasing theatrics, financial convenience or whatever. I'm not interested in it.
I had an affair with a married woman, not because she was a slut, it's because she was trapped in a miserable 8-year-long marriage. Her husband made her feel worthless, I made her feel wanted, and special. We are no longer together, but at least I gave her the strength to get a divorce. She's happy now.
The point I'm trying to make here is that some women in relationships need men like us to liberate them. In the end, it's better for everyone.

Remember Gents, women are not property, so keep them interested and happy. Make the best of every lady you meet. Have fun.

V

I have to empathise with Annus H - saying "it's okay to cheat on some guy's gal because he couldn't have been much of a guy to let her slip away" smacks of something akin to ""it's okay to steal someone's car if they're stupid enough to leave it unlocked with the keys in the ignition". Besides when you say "girlfriend" does also refer to women who are engaged, married, in a de facto relationship, have children, etc.? You know as in some serious fallout if she does leave him for you or just short-term relationships where there has been no serious commitment?

So #8 describes me perfectly. I'm not even bragging, in fact I'm #8 compared to 95% or somewhat of all men out there who aren't celebrities, supermodels,...
And I have a situation where I suspect (almost KNOW) that a girl from my postgraduate class loves me. Yet, she has a boyfriend.
I know my distant nature leaves little to interpret for others. There is no one who truly knows me, so I'm not making it exactly easy on her part either.

But for all of that I'm still very withdrawn at trule reaching out to her, because:

1) As hard of an impact I can leave on certain people, as poetic (seriously, not bragging. I apologize beforehand if I give the impression) as I come across, as morally involved and as 'pretty' as others find me (I don't think so, but whatever).... I AM kind of a mental wreck. Not the type of mental wreck that constantly whines, but the type that NEEDS so much alone time to think things through and would occasiionally experience panic attacks due to social phobia.

2) I realize that her boyfriend is tightly weaven into her social circle and they've shared a lot of holidays to foreign countries together. Point in case: they have a history. And it would be utterly cruel to rip this guy out of that circle and tear apart their history, even though I suspect her to only be with him as a 'comfort relationship' without much sparkles.

So these two points mentioned, I don't believe I can truly make her happy. Sure, she would disagree maybe. But I'd like to think I have a broader perspective on this.

Could you please share some insight on this matter?

Thanks a lot,

Hey, thanks for the article it helps alot, but I have one question; You say that the man should not waste time by talking to her much and try to set up a date as quick as possible. But what if the girl says it's weird to hang out together/date because she already has a boyfriend and he will think it's weird? Or if the Girl herself thinks it's weird to do this because she has a boyfriend?

First of all, thank you very much for the article, it was very helpful.

Now let me introduce you to my situation. So I met this girl, she was nice to me when other girls were not and kept teasing me. Things started to escalate and I decided that the best thing to do was to ask her out. She then told me she had a Boyfriend (Who she had been hiding from me all this time) hence she could not date me. Your description of a Tease girl just suits her perfectly. She has done this exact to many other guys in my music academy. Even after asking her out she kept teasing me and eventually messed up my mind.

I decided to walk away from her and forget about it, but now that she has problems with her boyfriend I see a chance of getting something out of all these PAINFUL months. You said your Girlfriend was a tease so you obviously did something to make her your girlfriend. I would really appreciate some guidance.

Best Regards,

Anonymous.

Met a girl on a ski trip she was with her friend zoned male best friend, half way through the week he proclaims his love for her, she says no. he leaves and she stays later that day finds out her boyfriend cheated on her... same day i get with her kiss, sleep name it.

End of the week its back to where we both live hundreds of miles apart. she still stays with the boyfriend as she believes that getting with me and her boyfriend cheating sort of balances themselves out. we both like each other she believes she is "Connected" with him. I met her for a week, we were with each other 24/7 everyone saying we were cute'n all.

I have given her a deadline of the start of summer to pick me or him and up to then i will be meeting her. i told her i would work a whole week with a family friend just so i could be near enough to see her yeah she liked that but she doesn't seem that emotional weirdly to say... as much as me. she is the first girl to ever make me feel like a light at the end of the tunnel, we both have the same aspirations and dreams of where we want to go. everything similar.. music taste, food, general opinions about things but its getting her to make that final decision about me... if anyone can give me a minuscule drop of advice about is any of this the right way to go... my next strategy is the jealousy card. having snapchats with other girls all intricate... someone help haha my situation is so fucked up

I wouldn't get a girlfriend who likes to tease other men. Reasons behind that are:

1) Obviously she doesn't care if she is going to hurt his feelings/waste his time. I am very respectful to others and can't forgive myself for hurting another person intentionally so I would expect from my serious girlfriend to realize the effect that her actions might have on others. If she doesn't really care about that and wants to have fun instead the chances are she is not going to be my serious girlfriend any more.

''a girl who's a tease is not (usually) being a tease out of malice, but out of a sense of fun''
Well, I remember I used to bully people weaker than me, make fun of them. I wouldn't say I did it out of desire to hurt them because I have always been a good hearted guy. I probably did it because I felt stronger, got attention and because it was fun as well. Of course after going through some life lessons I started to think how my words and actions affect others.
Also I don't care if she likes getting attention from men by teasing. If the girl is boosting her ego by doing that then again she is not the best choice for me. I am looking for a girl who doesn't rely so much on external validation.

I decided to comment just to see what others think on what I just mentioned
:)

#1: She Wants You to Help Her Make Him Jealous

Aside of meaning of this article /How to win attached girl/
I hope someday you write and post here an article expressly
about how to handle situations when "She Wants And Doing Things to Make You Jealouse"

As you say - "If she's trying to make him jealous, she isn't focused on you... she's focused on HIM"

So some article where WE(the readers) are HIM

I read a lot of your articles and its awesome for me how things happen realy easy whit women for m in past 6 months, and I put a lot of trust on your point of view and how you explain every single situatuon.

I read an article of Ricardus about "jalouse in raltionship" but in that articles he touch just a little that situation.

I think you can't be just cool whit that, because if she is flirtnig in front of you, and keep doing it, it's not that "somebody hit on your girl", and you stay cool - it's reverse, and diferent - your girl trying to hit on somteone in front of you, and it's look awkward, even funny when you see how she FORCING herself to doing this, but nevertheless she doing it... and it's realy not so funny :) becaouse she doing it...
Ok, after reading months here, and girlschase.com is like bible to me, I know that the man is messing up something to be in this situation.
And its very interesting is she trying to make his boyfriend to feel punished by her, or to force him to give her more atention. Where is the difference?
I konw guys who mess up things hard, stop sleeping whit their girls for months, or guys who plus that cheat on their girls, and their girls found it and starting this game whit jelousy...
Whats the key to this, and is it possible to brake this habbit

Thank you :)

I really love your logic. I totally agree with the mentality that focus only on yourself to effect the external outcomes you want! I've had the sense that I should improve myself in order to better my chances of finding and keeping a girl, and that it's up to the girl to decide whether she stays or leaves, (because you can't force another person to make a decision!) and to just enjoy every minute with them as much as possible. I've just not been so sure of myself, so I'm trying to learn, and get better! Your reasoning aligns with my mentality, so I'm glad to have found this resource! I've got the links you placed within this text tabbed, ready to be read! So, thanks!

Cheers

I have a question.

I met this girl at work (we are both in relationships and we both moved to be with our partner) but we became close at work. Flirting back and forth until eventually we decided to start texting (playing games whatever) a lot. Where we both revealed that we have feelings for each other. But texting was all we could do. Until eventually we met up outside of work and ended up making out. That was about 2 weeks ago and now she wants to take a step back she says it's because her bf almost caught her texting me. So now there's no texting just back to work flirting and w/e.

Is there anything i can do to get back on track or is this pretty much done?

it's goddamn shameful that this site is PROMOTING you to steal a girlfriend away from her boyfriend.

Having a female friend-only is NOT a bad thing. Just don't assume that sooner or later she is gonna have sex with you - Use her as leverage to meet other girls, it is a lot easier to connect with new girls when you're already good friends with one of their friends.

Don't go and steal girls from their boyfriends unless their boyfriends are abusive. Be an open, honest, kind and interesting person, and you will find love one way or another

I've always seen myself as someone who loves the chase. Sometimes my feelings persist beyond the point of knowing she is into me, and sometimes they don't. But above all, I love the chase (the challenge), so I thank you for your articles, and no matter whether or not you talk about morally "right" principles in approaching women isn't what makes it great, but the fact that you enjoy stepping over that boundary and are open to talking about it is what makes it great.

But recently, I met someone who has a boyfriend, and of course my native desire for the chase kicks in, because someone with a boyfriend has never caught my eye quite like she has. The thing is: I love the chase by nature, but I find myself falling for this girl with every waking breath, and I can't bring myself to make a move, even though she is in a long distance relationship currently. I have spent enough time with her in social environments to show her I like her, and she has never mentioned her boyfriend around me. There are so many more signs I won't bore you with, but I'm certain she has some sort of feelings for me. How would you suggest I approach it? I feel the ball should be in her court, as I don't want to knowingly be a homewrecker, or tell her I like her and ask her to make a choice.

I would agree that you can take a girl a girl away from her boyfriend or husband. The thing I don't agree with you about is the sex involved. Why do you need to sleep with her? If you're into her take her away with personality. You say you're ethical. What ethical about your thought that you should et this girl but not make her your girlfriend. You said don't become her boyfriend. So in essence you're saying just nail this girl and dump her because she is to the type that you'd make your woman. I searched for this topic because my girlfriend is a bartender. She is hit on constantly. Most guys will find out she has a boyfriend. They then turn their attitude to playful flirting. But there are the few guys who won't let it go. The ones who say oh your boyfriend doesn't need to know. She turns them down week after week. But to me those guys are disrespectful to her and to me. She says no. They keep trying. They want to do something behind my back with my girl. It's like someone using your stuff behind your back. Is it really hurting you, no but it's yours and why should you be fine with it? That's where my territorial angry side comes in. My girlfriend asks you to stop. You come to her work and constantly hit on her and she complains to me. These guys think they are funny and think her getting mad is cute and somehow they are winning her over when really they are making her miserable and hate working. So to me these guys who try this and don't follow your rule of not going after someone in love piss me off. My girlfriend is a nympho. Let's say I'm gone a week. Her sexual needs aren't met. As you said some girls in love have a weak times. So some ass clown who wouldn't listen finally gets with her. Then he is done. She is mad she did it. The relationship is over. That guy is following your thought of not making her a girlfriend and he is gone. So everything is wrecked because he was persistent. You liken women to kids emotionally. So I teach my kids not to talk to go off with a stranger. I'm sure if the same stranger continues to talk to my kids eventually they will go off with them. So is that because I haven't kept them happy? Is it because they really wanted to go off? Probably not. It's probably because people can be coerced. I'm sure anybody could be talked into doing something they didn't set out to do. It happens all the time with material objects. I just think there are better ways of getting a girlfriend then sleeping with her when she is with someone. Just show your interest and turn her without making her into a cheat. Because whether she was happy or not if she has to break up by cheating then she will be known as a cheater. You seem to label women as weak. I think they are strong enough to end a relationship when they arent happy. I have not read any of your other articles but based on this one I'd love to run into trying to pick up a friends girlfriend or wife.

unfortunately I've taken lots of weak chances before getting to see this site, after seeking help which seemed not to have worked for me from many people around.
My story is quite interesting but silly to some extent, for the past 5yrs I've been in a relationship with a girl who loves and adores me, her love was so pure and it was obvious, but the problem I had in the first 3yrs of our relationship was I didn't love her the way she loved me because I was just trying to get through an heartbreak when I met her, so I took her granted, I did lots of heartless things to her even to the extent of dating one of her close friends while we are still in the relationship, that broke her heart and almost ran her mad but because I wasn't really into her, none of her pains moved or bothered me, then I decided to leave her in that condition , after a year of breakup, we accidently met at a friends place, it was then I realized she's never gotten over me even after a year, it was then I realised the depth of the love residing in her for me, I was surprised she still wanted me more than anything, then my heart melted, and I apologized and we made up again, ever since then I discovered my love for her grows everyday and has grown to driving me insane, I could not think for a minute without thinking in her,
HERE IS THE PROBLEM at the moment she started realising I couldn't do without her, another person in her poped up, she reduced the level at which she expresses her love and the likes, she started doing things that draws me near in a way to get me punished, at some point I started getting jealous and losing my trust because I wanted nothing no more other than her, that prompted me to breaking into her privacies, I started tracking her cell phone: call logs, messages etc, monitoring her movements, doubting her, eventually I got to know there was a guy on her and she was already falling for the guy(she confessed) after lots of quarrel on the issue, we got it resolved and she promised not to stray anymore but then she now knows I'm tracking her, she asked me to stop that bad act, I promised I would buti realised I couldn't because the trust in me is reduced, I continued my tacking processes silently and guess what, in just a month after we got the previous settled, she was into another guy other than the guy we fault over and this time more serious, I discovered their intimacy on her whatsapp messenger and I kept mute till three weeks after when I formally saw the guy in an occasion of hers, now... what spitted out my jealousy on this fateful day was, she placed more importance on this guy than on me, she treated him specially, and lowered me to no level the moment the guy stepped into the occasion ground, she didn't even make any introduction btw me and the guy, then I called her to do so, she did and insulted me in the sight of this so called guy, then I was mad , ever since then the war had begun, no matter how we try get it resolved, it has all been proving abortive although she claimed not to have been dating the guy which I don't belive to some extent, because ever since everything turned upside down, she had gotten another cell phone number only known to her and the guy which I don't know,and that is what she now use for all her social messengers , and she has deleted the previously used number.
Now I can't get her off my mind, but she seems not coming back to me, she called my friend and told them she wasn't interested in me no more but she could not tell it to my face, she just told me she was hurt that she needed some time to get over it, but then I'm hurt too, I just considered mine not important now because I thought I owned the major fault, now it's almost two months to the fight and I just can't move on without her, I blamed myself for many things but then I thought I wasn't all responsible for the short comings, last night I called for a resolution again, she agreed and we partially got it resolved all for me to see her text after our conversation that she still wanted to be alone, and needed to be ok...... I called back and told her, even if she wanted to go alone that I'll be waiting when she's coming home, my love will still remain. It was then i realise Chase words that says, a single mistake can destroy years of record
Anyone help me out, what can I do, have I said something pleasing or too weak, won't she use the word "waiting for her"to feel she's now the champion, is there any way to conclude she's dating the guy, can I actually wait/does it worth waiting for or I should just go my way heartbroken........? please help before I do another crazy or childish thing.

Hello Chase.

I am an avid reader of your site and have spread the word of this site around my group of friends causing an effect. Most of my friends have also started to improve their lives after finding a place that teaches them how.

But, and this is from a biased standpoint as I am a man in a committed relatinship, I do not think what you are saying is completely true and should be morally inspected.

I am well-read, but as you can probably see from my writing, english is not my native language. I am also a guy who loves hot debates, even to the point of no-return. (By this I mean almost starting fights).

I am all for the self-made man philosophy, into creating your own life and not being a victim. And I also see, that if you completely take life into your own hands, is very close to being selfish as that gives the woman no power in the say. This is in the perfect case - a psychopath, who completely has cast aside his feelings. This creates an environment ruled by tyrant. That is what I fear the most as people like this are given the tool to hurt women and t.ear them apart from men, who love their girlfriends/wives, but are due to the life-situations that currently prevail forced to work extra, exhausted, not in them mood. Normal things that happen in life. And if a woman cheats during such a period, what is to follow?

But what really saddens me is the feminist undertone that lurks all around this thinking that on the other side look like male dominance. And the question is: Why is it men that have to become perfect? Why is there no such a need for women? Leadership, selfish genes, everything I already know. But I want a higher standpoint. Why are men the only ones that have to step up, and not women?

I will always stay a regular reader, no matter what you post, since you radiate charisma and knowledge and I consider this site a check-point in a better world. Censorism is not needed, I will filter myself what I read. Everything is true in this world if want to believe in it, you just have to find what is worth believeing. And I know that I probably contradict myself at times in this point, but these are the lingering questions at the bottom of my consciusness. Please do not take the attitude I know you are better man than: Right away defending your standpoint. I know you as a worldy man won't do. Please read this message twice or thrice over and really lose yourself in it before you answer.

Your loyal follower with questions
Robert

My advise for you and the rest of the community is that if you try to pick up a girl who is or has been married you are looking for trouble. I would shoot anyone trying to do this to my wife, so beware. Do not play games or try to be " nice " to married women or recent divorcees. You dont know if their husbands will come after you. Love is a strong emotion and breaking families is devastating. If you devastate a family it is you who did it, no one else.

I found this to be a very informative posting, I came across this while reading the art of conversation. This caught my eye due a recent experience of mine. I have been in a long term relationship for a while now(11 years). We do have children together and are not married. I have always prided myself to be be a women who would never cheat on her husband/boyfriend.

Recently our relationship has hit the ultimate hault. We are no longer having sex do to his physical limitations & I no longer find him attractive. I have made decisions in my life to get healthy again and back in shape. To clarify I was not or was never obese just out of shape in my eyes but still attractive.

I was contacted by a brief aquentiece of his he met at one his short stays at the hospital his roomy. They got along really well. I met him as well a couple times talked a few times etc. and that was it. They exchanged #'s. I thought honestly him and his wife would be a really nice couple to get to know and hang out with. About almost 8 months later he contacts me via a soc.media site & became friends. We chatted back and forth for a little bit. Not to long after he made it perfectly clear what his intentions were. I let him know I was flattered but not interested. I was going to say something but was not wanting to add something else for us to argue about and honestly was enjoying the attention.
I really felt there was no harm in flirting since I had no intentions of meeting up with him.

I have been chatting for about almost 3 months now. He really wants to meet up and so do I. We're both very honest about our intentions and that does frighten me.

My purpose for this posting is to let you know if a women is unhappy regardless of the situation she will look for emotional comfort and eventually physical somewhere else. There has to be something lacking in the relationship for them to want to look else where. I love my "husband" but due to me no longer physically being attracted to him it makes temptation very hard to resist. Make sure regardless how strong you may think your relationship is you don't forget to put in the time and effort.

Thank you
MC

Hi there. First off...thank you so much for your website. It is truly my path to enlightenment through every single sticking point I encounter. That being said, I would really appreciate some advice:

Trying to win this girl I really like who has a long-distance boyfriend after a failed escalation.
First let me preface: I'm still sleeping with/dating/approaching other women...I just really want to do everything i can with this one.

Sequence of Events/Key facts about this situation:
-Cold approached direct at whole foods. Number closed/set up date and vibed for 15 minutes or so.
-She mentioned having a bf after the fact over text. I played the "such matters have never concerned me card." Got her out a few days later aka tonight.
-Grabbed tea together for about an hour. Vibed incredibly well. Chemistry was fucking incredible. We both had invested body language...leaning into each other while talking, etc. It was the best deep diving performance of my life and I've never felt such instant chemistry.
-After overcoming resistance like a champ I got her to come home with me. Maintained the vibe all the way home. Got home and took her to the roof with some wine...but even after playful persistence she refused to drink for obvious reasons.
-Continued vibing well. Sat closer to her. Got kino through some bs palm reading shit I completely made up on the spot. Then rested her hand on my knee and she kept it there while we continued talking.
-When the sexual tension became thick I went in for a kiss which was deflected. Brushed it off in a cool way and continued to push pull over the next 30 minutes never getting her to kiss me but at the same time never making her uncomfortable enough to leave. -Eventually she decided she wanted to go home though and I walked her to the train.
-I even made a last ditch effort by acting distracted and leading her to a playground near the train station and she followed me and went down a slide with me. Tried for a final kiss close to no avail. Still playfully brushing off. Took her to the train and she hugged me a little too tightly goodbye and we parted ways.
-Oh yeah and I got her to borrow a book of mine we talked about during the date as a way to kind of anchor her to seeing me again.

So I'm just not sure what I can do. I'm proud I even got her home with me with my low experience level. I would normally let a failed escalation like this go, but we hit it off so well and she's obviously dissatisfied in her relationship...any advice for how to proceed would be appreciated.

Chances are, there will be violent run-ins with the husband, boyfriend, fiance, or ex who wants her back.

Well I'm a woman and Wow I've just started reading some post there.

May I ask you

"How to give my BOYFRIEND such an amazing relationship that he'd never even LOOK at another woman again?"

I really want him to be happy.

You article was great i kinda had a problem that was smiliar to what you wrote in your article. Now the girl that i liked and still like and think about her she used to be a highschool collegue back in my highschool days. She is 18 and im 21 i was quite interested in her for a few months and when i finally decided to have a talk with her and asked for her phone number she had no problem in giving it to me. So than i decided to text her for the begining i didnt try something flirty or tell her i like her we were just having fun texting to eachother. She would answer any message i would send her through whatsapp no problem there. I decided to go out with her so i told her she than told me that she would love to go out but she is starting school the next day and she needs to get ready. No problem here after like a week i decided to let her know that i would be in school to take some exams. She was quite eager to to know when i would be in school so we could have a chat. So i came to school the next day and surpsingly i found out she had a boyfriend he went somewhere else and she was all alone so i decided to make the next step. We had a talk we made some jokes than she started talking about her boyfriend what plans she has with him and so on i started getting bored and mad at the same time. I was also thinking why would she tell me something like this its something i dont care about. She invited me to eat something but i decided to leave the moment i saw her boyfriend but not before kissing her on her cheeks. I was ready to give up but i started thinking about her...so i decided to text her like i allways did. Things were ok we were making jokes she was answering all my messages i knew she liked me but that guy was in the way. So i decided to tell her she is preatty thats all i could have done untill than because she was allready taken. What can i say after like 1 week after i told her that she send me a message. Oh hey i saw you in school today. So i decided to send her something like this: I did not see you in school today and i feel sorry because i did not. So she sends me another message telling me that maybe we will see eachother in school soon. So i took that as something and decided to tell her that i hope i will see her and i hope she will make my day nice again. She sends me a smiley face so i took that as a positive thing. After 2 days after that i decided to come to school again to see her. Her boyfriend started to realise i was on her it was not the first time. I didnt give a damn i kissed her on the cheeks just before she greeted me first like she allways did. She decided to invite me to eat with her and that guy at the school canteen. I was talking with that guy and she went at a table quite near the canteen so i decided to go near her. She told me like can you do something for me. I was like YES SURE !!! can you leave for 5 minutes its my boyfriends birthday and i want to blabla cand remember what she said. I decided to leave for 5 minutes her boyfriend was quite concerned in talking to her. I came back and sat at the same table with them. That guy started hugging her kissing her whatever like showing me: You see you will never have her because im with 1 step ahead of you. I also went outside with them nothing new that guy was doing what he knows best so i decied to go and take my exam. After i finished and school finished also i notticed she left but he was there quite depressed and texting to her. I started talking to him and he was like: Do you know she is my girlfriend ? I told him yes i know. Do you want to make a girlfriend ? I told him yes i want. What i could see in his phone when he was away talking with someone. Were messages from her like: I love you but you changed a lot that was the only thing i could see before he came back. Than i said goodbye and decided to leave. I still decided to talk to her since than it was quite the same as before but i decied to send her one message to tell her i dont feel well maybe its because of the weather. She was like yeah maybe something like she would not give a damn weather i feel ok or not haha. I decided to text her the following weeks untill one day when i decied to make another try. She was telling me she is bored. So i decided to tell her why dont we get bored at the mall together. She sends me a message telling me like. Thanks but no im going out with this guy this week to the mall. I was like so pissed but decided to keep my head up and sent her a message: Have fun. She replied me with a thank you. After 2 hours after i asked that she decided to change her status on whatsapp. Something like a message to her boyfriend: Remember i love you and they cannot break us apart. Since than 2 months have passed and i stopped texting her she also didnt waste her time to ask me anything else. Now thats all i know i wrote quite a lot but maybe you have time in giving me your oppionion about this or what you think about this situation. Since i figured out she has a boyfriend and untill now she had a lot of conflicts with him, he made her cry they argue and stuff yet they are together. I try not to care anymore but its hard i mean she is a great girl but she is taken im sure things were different if she was single. And sorry for my broken english im from another country.

I met a beautiful girl in class,she's a Muslim and am a Christian but i have totally fallen in love with her and she has a boyfriend.I don't know how to go about this because she doesn't even want to have friends in our class but we talk sometimes.Please help me Mr.Chase,how do i make her like me.She doesn't show any sign of interest :(

This is old but i found the article and knowledge being shared here very useful, including people in the comments who have shared their experiences.

Recently i got quite close to a girl and it seems she has been leading me on. Friends have told me that girls actually enjoy that attention and do it with many guys even though they already have boyfriends. we chat almost every other day and that since im such a greenhorn in dating, she already realises/knows that i am interested, which already made me lose the game.

However she also admits doing a bad job in not getting me off track, though she emphasizes the fact that she has a boyfriend whom she cant betray, then why is she spending so much time on me as well? She also always ask things like if i had missed her or that she was tired but still wanted to talk to me etc, though i have come to realise that i do not want to feed her with yes i miss you, more often than not i say i dont. She also does mention her boyfriend sometimes in conversations, perhaps to test my reactions.

I am going on another date with her soon. Yet i find myself wavering, wondering if she is interested or just being extra friendly and wants attention/effort/time which her boyfriend sometimes unable to provide. Is she using me to get her boyfriend's attention? Sometimes i trust my instinct and that this time it feels like im being the sucker here. Yet i dont want to walk away. A friend had advised me to try as i have nothing to lose except time and effort.

What do you think of this situation? Cheers

-lost soul

hope you can give me some advice. she stayed over at my place(uknowwhathappened).
right now her boyfriend is mending his ways, trying to get her back, trying to get the feelings back , apparently she is moved by him, she told me she no longer has affection for him like before. she told me she is still sticking with him because she can't bear to leave him cause he has no friends and he might not take it lightly etc etc. so she told me the only thing she can offer now is friendship. was she using me from the start? or does she really has affection for me? you mentioned I should come back after she breaks up with her bf, if not I am just some tool right now. she has been texting me all day I have been ignoring her or replying in a cold manner. what should I do now?

I have a question. This girl i have known for 11 years, has been with a guy for 7 years not married tells me she should be with me instead but she loves him. She also comes over to hang out with me and my roommate almost every Friday since she told me. It has been nearly 10 months since. What should i do?

Chase Nails it 1000%, and quite diplomatically too. Don't listen to the nay-sayers Chase, you and I both know they haven't been where we both have..
It took a few hundred women to figure everything you've said in your essay, points I learned from:
A) A natural ability
B) Good looks
C) Experience

Women are essentially children in adult bodies ruled by emotions who want what they can't have. That sums it up there. This logic is proved by their opposite approach to men (we are direct in general) - as they select who they will sleep with by:
A) How hard he is to get
B) How mysterious and exciting he is
C) Money (of course)
D) How he's into his own things and not a follower.

When examined closely the above (excluding C) is based on mindgames, or what I consider total insanity.

Nature has shown us 9/10 women marry for reasons of safety and security, especially during child bearing years.
The women & men who disagree with this article live in small narrow worlds and haven't experienced what you and I have. They either get it, or are too embarrassed to admit its the truth.

Dear Chase,
I am confused as to the motivations for seducing all these girls with boyfriends. I can understand if this is the girl of your dreams and you want to be in a relationship with her yourself. However when it's some girl who is in love with her current boyfriend and you need to "move quick" to get in her pants briefly before she remembers she's actually in love this seems like a great way to hurt her and her boyfriend whilst doing nothing more for you than using it to try and console your insecurities. Is it just so you can say "I'm great because this girl had a boyfriend and she still fucked me", because if so that is pathetic. This sounds harsh but I can't see why else you wouldn't just have fun with single girls and save everyone a lot of heartache.
Jack

I'm a girl who happened to stumble upon this article during one of those sleepless early mornings. I was the girl who was very in love with her boyfriend. Honestly, he was a long time fiancé of many many years. I met this other guy who just happen to be pretty much the opposite of my then boyfriend (exciting). Well long story short; roller coaster of back and forth emotional heart break for all. The guilt and love I have for my ex still lingers and probably will stay with me for god knows how much longer since we were best friends before and the ex is overall, one of the best guys on the planet. And do I regret what happened? Yes. Would I do it again, if I could? No.

Overall, I think this article is great and very right on point with what I believe to be true among women. Especially, #1 and I'm a total tease and I agree, it's fun and girls know they are doing it.

Last bit of warning, don't even try to tear apart the love of two people-- even if you win her she will possibly blame you and the guilt of her past will always haunt the both of you. Instead I suggest that you get a girl that's free of emotional baggage. Try a late bloomer or just recently worked out to the point of losing enough weight/unexperienced with men. These girls I've known a few and they are just great catches for marriage. Or at least I've noticed they get married within a year of being on the market. :)