3 Ways to Use Social Proof to Be Scaldingly Attractive to Women

Social proof is one of the most reliable ways to make yourself a total girl magnet. Best of all, there are 3 different ways to get it.

Hey, guys. Today, for the sake of variation, I will take a step back from the predominantly tactical posts (don’t worry, more tactical stuff is coming) and discuss a more theoretical aspect of seduction. Theoretical posts can be useful, as they can help you “make sense” of things and expand your understanding, which can have a practical impact. So, despite this post being mostly theoretical, you will discover there is an underlying practical touch to it.

Either way, today’s subject will be social proof. This subject has been discussed many times here (and sometimes also called ‘preselection’), so I will not include an introduction. But overall, social proof in the context of pickup and seduction is one of the many elements that causes women to preselect men by observing them around other women and seeing they are desired by other women. We are more likely to like what others also like, right? In many cases this is true. And women, who are more prone to submit to group pressure and follow the pack, are much more affected by this mechanism than us guys.

The overall idea here is simple: you create attraction by being seen with other women.

Social proof is nothing new to the world of dating, pickup, and seduction. The effects have been discussed to death. How to generate social proof has also been discussed, although there is more to be said about this, I am sure. In this post, I want to present a new framework that can help us expand the notion of social proof in pickup and seduction. I think our current view and definition of social proof is oversimplified. I here present 3 categories of social proof, each with unique aspects that unfold differently and can be driven by different means.

I will discuss each category and how it is achieved. Ultimately, this framework should broaden your understanding of the concept, how it works, and how you can use it. I’ll also provide guidelines on how you can achieve social proof in the way you find most exciting and comfortable.

The three categories we will discuss:

• Explicit Social Proof

• Implicit Social Proof

• Tacit Social Proof

Explicit Social Proof

I will start with the most obvious one – the one most of you would naturally associate with social proof – namely, the explicit version. When something is explicit, it is usually easy to identify; the effects are “in your face” and very tangible.

In our case, this would be the form of social proof where other women literally see you with other women. The effects here will differ according to:

• The level of attraction those women show for you

• The hotness of those women

• How easily other women can perceive you with those women

You have women around you, and as a result, women become attracted to you. This is the form of social proof that has been the most discussed. Other girls see you are being desired by other women, and in return, they may start desiring you, or at least grow a little bit curious and start wondering “who is that guy?” It is usually this form of social proof we attribute to high-status males in clubs; if a guy is surrounded by girls, we easily assume “this guy is a player” or “this guy has game.”

However, this form of social proof can also be expressed through reputation, particularly in social circles when one is known to be desired by women. Women spend a lot of time talking to each other about men, and if they are talking positively about you, the concept of social proof kicks in and you may get preselected. Additionally, if you are simply known as the guy who gets a lot of women, you can also gain social proof that way.

There are numerous ways this explicit form of social proof is generated.

• First and foremost, you can build up social proof on the spot. I discussed this recently in a post about how you can use a good lead in order to create momentum that could snowball into lots of social proof. You basically kick start things with a good lead, then you use the good vibe from that lead to enhance another approach and hopefully trigger more good vibes before moving to the next one, and so on. This strategy can be hard to kick start, but it eventually becomes easier and easier the more social proof you get (the snowball effect). This is a good strategy to pull off in certain clubs (this is also covered in the post I just mentioned), but it requires some level of seduction skills.

• Social circles are also a way to get social proof. You basically climb your way from the bottom to the top of the hierarchy. As a result of this, you will generate many warm approaches with (hopefully) hot girls. By becoming popular from climbing the hierarchy within your circles, you may end up getting more and more women desiring you, which also provides social proof. This is a more passive strategy that requires more time and careful planning, and less actual then-and-there “performance” (the total opposite of cold approach seduction). This particular strategy is not my specialty, so I will let others address it in more detail (Chase and Hector are good candidates).

• Entourage Game (or “extended social circle”). This is an old one that actually works. It is situated somewhere between cold approach and social circle seduction. You basically use your social circle to create social proof with strangers (women). You come to the venue with lots of women who think you are at least decently cool, and social proof is created as a result of being seen with them. Due to the preselection caused by being seen with these women, other girls in the club may notice you and perhaps become attracted to you. This will make your cold approaches “warmer.”

  The downside is that, as with social circle game, this can require a bit of maintenance and can also have detrimental effects, such as having the group dictate your night out (when you finally get some social proof at a venue, they want to change venues). Or a member of your own group may even end up cockblocking you; if one of the girls from your circle sees you talking to other women, her attraction may rise, and she may end up being a pain in the ass – unless you want to (and are able to) take her to bed.

Implicit Social Proof

This is one I use a lot. You can use actions or words to imply information, which is then treated by the receiver as tangible on some level. If explicit social proof is “directly” communicated, implicit social proof is “indirectly” communicated. The communicated social proof is hidden within your words and actions.

This does not mean telling someone you have a lot of women chasing you – that’s just bragging and try-hard (try hard, die hard!). Rather, you need to imply in a subtle way that you know a lot of women, that you are desired by women, and that you are with many women. That last one is a double-edged sword, because if communicated explicitly, it can trigger resistance as a result of her desires being incongruent with her social frame: “I don’t do players, they are bad.” However, when communicated indirectly, it doesn’t become obvious enough for her to rationalize to herself that you are a player guy, because it is not obvious. Done correctly, the social proof will still hit her instincts. Being a player can be sexy, but it needs to implied, not explicitly communicated.

She doesn’t need to see you with other women if she picks up on it from your conversation.

So how is social proof communicated implicitly?

• Talking about another woman in particular

• Talking about other women in general

• Talking about scenarios that imply you are doing something more than just friendly stuff with a girl (having sex is the most powerful of those activities, but dancing classes, yoga classes, and so on are also worthy candidates, although the effect is much lower and barely present – but the amount of risk in using those subjects makes up for it)

So here are some strategies I like to use for communicating social proof the implicit way.

• Sharing a story about a female friend. This can be done by sharing a stimulating story that implies you have an exciting life, which is a good old seduction tool to convey status while also stimulating her mentally if the story is fun, exciting, and intriguing. You can also use a story to inject commands and induce desired states (more advanced). You can do all this, but you can also add social proof to the equation to turn the story into a serious seduction cocktail! You can either share a fun story that involves amazing women from your life, or you can quote a story from a female friend of yours. For example, “My friend Jeanette had this crazy thing happening to her recently….”

• Talking about women in general communicates that you are often with women, especially if it is in a positive way (a butt-hurt man rarely sees many women, and he may even be the angry, butt-hurt guy because he doesn’t see many women – guess it goes both ways!). You can use lines such as:

• “Oh my god, I love when women do this” or “Damn, don’t be like every other girl; I thought you were the most unique girl in the world; this is not you!” (good forced qualification in there). Or you can make statements about women, and if they are true, it becomes even more powerful because it communicates that you are socially adept (which is always hot).

• “I think women really like meeting a new guy, but only if he is a smooth guy who she actually wants, else I think she actually hates men.” (This is best said tongue in cheek.)

• “Women are sexual beings, but only around guys they can allow themselves to be sexual with – guys she feels she can connect with, related to, who also excite her, intrigue her, and drag her into an ongoing, never-ending adventure.” This last example has a lot of juice in it (commands, weasel words). Also, you can point at yourself while delivering this line, then sit back and enjoy the fireworks.

• Talking about sex can communicate social proof. But there is caveat here, because on its own, talking about sex does not mean you are actually seeing a lot of women. For all she knows, you may just be talking about sex because you are so desperate and obsessed – from not getting any! Talking about sex the correct way involves not directly getting over-excited about her or communicating too much interest in her – especially not right away. You may show interest through physical escalation and even verbal statements of interest if she shows compliance.

  The more receptive she is, the more interest she will show, as it is always key to reward good behavior. This is calibration 101. Another element here is that you talk about sex in a way that communicates you know what you are doing in bed – that you are sexually experienced and a good lover. If this reminds you of my concept of sexual prizing, you’ve been paying attention. I believe there is an element of social proof lying within sexual prizing; conveying that you are a good, experienced lover implies that you’ve been with many women.

Tacit Social Proof

This one is more abstract. Tacit knowledge is generally knowledge that is very hard to convey in a tangible way. In other words, the knowledge is communicated very indirectly, in a very subtle way.

In this case, we will be discussing social proof that is communicated VERY indirectly. It is neither said directly nor is it directly implied – it is indirectly implied.

Okay, this may seem hard to grasp, but with the help of my examples, you may actually figure this one out.

Think of a guy who dresses like a stereotypical player (like a typical badboy, a rockstar, a flamboyant artistic guy, or a classy and well-dressed smooth talker). Add to the equation that he is well-groomed and has good body language that communicates not only confidence, but edge. His vibe is seductive, intriguing, and slightly mysterious. He is sociable.

You quickly assume this guy is someone who gets laid, right? Well, so do girls! In other words, tacit social proof is the social proof generated as a result of the following:

• Having sexy body language

• Having a sexy, attractive vibe

• Being well-dressed (more specifically, dressed like a womanizer; there are many different styles to go for)

• Being sociable and seductive (outer game) – having good game and being a smooth talker can communicate social proof

If she can tell you’re confident and sexy, no further social proof will often be required.

In the past, this concept has taken different forms, such as advocating a “rockstar attitude” (being alone in order to seem super confident, and acting like a guy who bangs 10 new hot girls a month). The project was ambitious, and it surely worked very well for those who “got it.” But this kind of thing is very difficult to teach; I think it presents itself as a free attraction switch that results from being a long-time practitioner of seduction.

The more experienced you become, the more of this vibe you will get, and the more likely you will be seen as a ladies’ man by girls without having to be seen with other girls or even implying it through your communication. That said, this “tool” is not 100% guaranteed; sometimes it kicks in like a hidden ability, and sometimes it doesn’t. It is slightly unreliable. However, when it switches on, you get to enjoy the fruits of it. If you are in a good mood – in a good state – the odds of this “tacit social proof” activating are increased. And your odds decrease if you have a low sex drive, are tired, or have had a shitty day.

Anyway, let us now sum up this article.

Recap

In this article, we covered how social proof can be conveyed and perceived via different forms. We discussed those forms while also getting a bit practical on how they can be applied.

Those forms are:

• Explicit Social Proof: the social proof that is directly gained by being seen with other women

• Implicit Social Proof: the social proof that is implied through your communication

• Tacit Social Proof: the social proof that is indirectly implied in your sub communication

I hope this post gave you a better understanding of social proof and the frameworks in which to operate. I also hope I’ve provided you with some working ideas for your future interactions.

Questions and comments are welcome, as always.

Best.

Alek