7 Key Steps to Achieving Online Dating Success

Hey guys, welcome back!

In this follow-up to my original article, I’ll discuss how to make online game work for you.

If:

• You’re practicing cold approach but can’t figure out how to fit online game into meeting women

• You’ve tried online but didn’t achieve much success

this article is for you.

 

Get Your Online Game Fundamentals Down First

I covered some online game myths and profile-building fundamentals in my last article. The bottom line: you will not have success with online dating without having great pictures and at least a decent bio.

A common problem is most men suck at determining whether their pictures are good. The way women look at men’s dating app pictures differs from how men view women’s pictures.

As a Girls Chase reader, you should already have a contact list full of women you’ve met from your cold approach efforts. Send your pictures to a handful of these women and ask for their feedback to help you choose the best ones.

So you’ve got a solid profile on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge, etc. Now what? I’ll clue you in on seven important keys to online dating success. Most rules apply to text game, too, so keep this advice handy when you’re texting the girls you meet from cold approach.

 

1. Start with a Simple Opening Message - Avoid Pickup Lines

Guys get too carried away with sending silly, overcomplicated pickup lines (just look at the Tinder subreddit). It leaves them looking way too invested in the conversation (read: lack of abundance).

The goal of your opener is really simple: to get her to reply. I came up with the easy yet effective “Hey, trouble.” Even though this and similar variations are now used by guys everywhere, it can still be effective.

For more ideas, we experimented to find the best Tinder openers.

 

2. Consider Your Message before You Hit Send

Guys often get caught up in the excitement and quickly text a reply to a girl.

Then, they think it over (or worse, overthink it) and decide the text they sent was suboptimal. They double text to correct their message or back off from what they said.

Girls subconsciously read demonstrations of lower value out of this double texting. 99% of the time, it’s better to have a single suboptimal message than double texting her. So, take a minute to think about your messages before you type them and hit send.

 

3. Say It in the Shortest, Simplest Way Possible

One beginner mistake: being too wordy in your response.

The more you say, the bigger the risk you’ll slip up and say something suboptimal.

When you’re planning your reply, think about the most efficient way to say it. Here’s a simple example of handling a challenge from a girl showing the difference:

You: [Explicit text explaining exactly what you’d do to her]

Her: “Well, I’m quite a brat. You sure you can handle me?”

You (suboptimal lengthy reply, subconsciously showing lack of confidence): “Of course. I’ve put lots of brats like you in their place in my time.”

You (short reply showing confidence): “Yes.”

 

4. Keep the Conversation Moving in the Direction of the Date

This is another huge beginner mistake: meandering conversations with absolutely no point. The girl eventually stops responding because she moved on, and the guy can’t figure out what he did wrong.

Every text you send must have a purpose. Think of it as a game of chess: you should be thinking not just about your next play but a few steps ahead. Ultimately, the final play is getting her to agree to a date.

Have a framework in mind about what the path from opener to date looks like. We’ve shared a simple framework on how to talk to girls on Tinder that’s a great starting place.

 

5. Take Advantage of Opportunities to Demonstrate Higher Value

Demonstrations of high value are crucial to success with online dating. I often see guys miss huge opportunities — or worse, demonstrate lower value — at obvious opportunities in conversations. Here’s an example:

Her: “How’s your day?”

You (missed opportunity): “Pretty good. You?”

You (demonstrating lower value): “Boring. I’ve just been playing my Xbox all day. You?”

You (demonstrating higher value): “Amazing! Just finished a workout, looking nice and jacked for our date.”

 

6. Show Intent

Again, this is just like cold approach. If you’ve learned how to incorporate intent into your game, you have seen the difference in your interactions with women when they’re platonic versus when they see you as a sexual threat.

Well, women are on dating apps to...surprise...DATE someone! By letting the conversation get too platonic and boring, you’ll end up in the friendzone, and the girl will move onto one of her other matches.

 

7. Phone Numbers Matter Less than You Think

Guys generally obsess way too much about getting numbers from women. Sorry to break it to you, but a number doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things.

Getting a number is valuable only in the sense that it’s a logistical step toward setting up a date, and it solicits more investment from her than just being a name in her dating app. That’s about it.

You should “number close,” but that shouldn’t be a focus; it should just be a natural step in your overall framework.

 

Add Online Game to Your Arsenal

Considering COVID-19’s continuing negative impact on normal socializing and meeting women; now more than ever online game can play an important part in your dating toolkit.

Even if you’re committed to cold approach as your main way of meeting women, online game can let you practice many of your cold approach techniques, such as:

• Demonstrating higher value

• Showing intent

• Having a framework for your conversation

If you follow these seven steps, you will be in a strong position to get the most out of Tinder and other apps. Whether you plan to use online game to supplement your existing cold approach and build momentum, or you want to make online game one of your key ways of meeting girls, the steps above provide important basics to start getting results.

Alex