Create Comfort with Her, and Sexual Tension Comes Easy

You can build comfort to better help maintain sexual tension. When comfort’s too low, tension dissipates. But with comfort? It lasts.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

As you may know, I am currently writing a series on sexual tension. This is the 4th post so far, and I really recommend you check out the previous posts before reading this one. But even if you don’t, you’ll still find this post very useful on its own.

Previously we have discussed:

• The theoretical groundwork of what sexual tension is (part 1)
  

• How to generate sexual tension (part 2)
  

• How to maintain sexual tension by increasing the actual tension (part 3)
  

In this post, we will discuss maintaining the tension by focusing on building comfort with the girl you are experiencing sexual tension with. Previously we discussed how women tend to release sexual tension because of a low level of comfort compared to the level of tension. The solution proposed was to increase the tension so high that she lets go of her discomfort.

Today we will focus on increasing the comfort level. If you can manage both the tension parameter and the comfort parameter, you are technically in full control!

Creating Comfort

What we will do next is cover three (3) cool techniques for creating comfort in case it is required. Now, keep in mind that it is always preferable to focus on increasing the level of sexual tension (so the level of tension rises so high that she disregards her discomfort). We covered this subject in depth in my previous post.

Using a bit of comfort creation can be useful... but remember that making things too comfortable will kill the tension, especially when the tension is still low. So using comfort techniques in the early phases when the tension is low can actually fail to work, and in the worst case scenario, kill the tension. With that in mind, here are the techniques.

Moving Her Around

A very simple technique that has been a staple for years is to move the girl around in the venue (or the area). In other words, grab her hand and just change location – and it doesn’t need to be far. A few meters (sorry Americans, I am European) away. The more compliance you have (i.e., the more she is into you) the more (and the further away) you can move her around.

The reason this works is because the surroundings affect her mind – her state. By allowing her to experience a change of state while in your presence, rapport gets created. Whenever rapport is created, comfort follows. It is really that simple.

Think of someone you have experienced many things with... but also in many different places. Have you noticed how much stronger your rapport is with that person when you add a variety of locations to your activities with them?

Moving her around can have other benefits (in addition to building comfort), such as:

• Isolation (which is key for many reasons)

• “Hiding” her from her friends (friends can break the tension – which sucks)

Overall, this technique works just fine. It can be easy to pull off; however, it’s not the one that I personally prefer. The two other techniques that I am about to share are more powerful than this. Anyhow, the more techniques you know, the better off you are.

Caress and Comfort

A very simple technique to create comfort non-verbally is to use what one might call “caress and comfort.” Contrary to normal physical escalation, this technique serves as a comfort increaser rather than a horniness generator.

So, instead of touching her in explicit and sexual ways, you touch her in more caressing ways. For example, you could use the back of your hand for a softer and more caring touch, and gently caress her body: her shoulder, her hand, her back.

A soft caress (once she’s ready for it) ramps her comfort right up.

If the vibe is right, you can caress her face – this is very powerful but risky. She needs to be comfortable with it, and not all girls are. Do not attempt this unless you have 1) high compliance and 2) she seems to be comfortable with intimate touching.

The cool thing with this technique is that it is simple and it doesn’t kill the tension. Yes, it gives a slight release, but it doesn’t break the bubble. Sometimes a small release is what is needed. If the release allows you to create the necessary comfort, then it is worth it. You can always amplify the sexual tension bubble after more comfort has been induced. However, remember to be careful and not overdo it – if things get too comfortable, the tension dies.

IOM: It’s On Moments

This is overall a more powerful technique than the previous ones. That being said, one does not exclude the other.

The “it’s on moment” – or IOM – is another of 60’s techniques (here referring to my friend 60 Years of Challenge from the previous posts) that I have discussed with him in the past. This technique is really powerful. Before I get to actually explain what it is, allow me to share some background info.

Let us assume you walk up to a girl. You do your magic and at some point she may get a feeling you are into her... and hopefully you get a feeling she is into you. But like 60 would ask, does it really matter in the long run? His answer would be NO. Truth is, according to him, men hit on women, they are interested in them, they get some cool vibes back, then they leave and feel great about themselves and the interaction they had with this amazing girl.

But 60 would call this “mental masturbation” because you haven’t actually achieved something. In my opinion, he is taking this a bit too far, but he is right in that, in order to get somewhere with her, things between you two must become “official” – i.e., you create that moment when you both show a form of mutual connection that implies there is SOMETHING going on between you two, where you both know there is mutual sexual interest – an “it’s on moment” – where things between you two becomes “official.”

Do not get too carried away with the word “official.” I am not implying that you make it obvious to the public or post a new relationship status on social media. I am merely referring to a mutual qualification where you simultaneously communicate interest to each other. Things need to become official between you two, and nobody else (keep the social world away).

Now, why is this so important? Here are a few reasons:

1. You totally avoid auto-rejection – she knows there is potential in the interaction.

2. Due to the fact that it is official that there is something going on between you two, she will become more motivated to pursue you. You are not just that flirty guy anymore, you are a guy she has something going on with – this is key.

3. It creates comfort – a mutual feeling of sexual attraction surely makes her feel that something magical is going on.

4. Socially speaking, it creates a form of “acceptance” when it comes down to escalating things more sexually. Since there is actually something going on between you, sexualization becomes more normalized. This can be related to comfort.

Have you ever experienced how motivated you become to pursue a girl after she kisses you? This is because a kiss is an “it’s on moment.” When she kisses you, you know there is something going on between you (disregard the quick, random makeouts that are worth nothing).

Now, I personally dislike using kisses as IOMs because they over validate her, and they are too much of a tension release. We do not want to release too much tension, we just want to create comfort. The kiss can be a good final release when the tension is so high that you can seal the deal and get down to business. Before that point, it is merely a waste (unless you need to kiss to create a spike for logistical reasons – see my post on kissing).

So, what we want to use are “it’s on moment techniques” that generate the required comfort without killing the tension by releasing too much tension. Here are two techniques that I like to use:

1. Mutual Escalation – this is my personal technique. You amplify the mutual touching (you should always try to make the touching mutual), and at some point, it becomes pretty obvious to her (and you) that there is something going on between you.

2. Hand-grabbing – this is 60’s technique. It is simple to pull off (pretty innocent move), and it works like a charm. Once there is some tension going on and you feel the effect of the tension on her body, grab her hand. The cool thing is that this is also a compliance test. If you grab her hand and she grabs back, you know you are in. When you hold her hand, an “it’s on moment” is created. This is much better than a makeout.

The idea here is that once you get some tension going, sooner or later, when you feel that she is being affected by it, and you feel the tension going, you should create an it’s on moment, because it will:

1. Comfort her – increase a little bit of her comfort

2. Create room for further escalation

3. Increase compliance – which is useful if you want to pull (if the tension is high enough) or if you just want to isolate her a little further

Important Notice:

1. The “it’s on moment” is very useful, especially when you sense discomfort. It is a great tool to use whenever you feel she is overly uncomfortable. However, the IOM requires some degree of compliance and it is recommended to try to increase the tension a bit before using an IOM. Put it this way: there is no reason to make something that is not there in the first place official.

Timing is everything, amigo.

2. We just mentioned that IOMs can be used to create comfort, but let us make it clear that even though you may not need them to escalate sexual tension, sooner or later you must have or create an IOM, because the feeling of “officialness” is key in order to take things to the next level, to make her feel that there is something real in that trance-like state of sexual tension. You may go for a full release, such as a kiss or even sex (if you are in the right location and the timing is right), i.e., if you have milked the interaction fully of sexual tension, but I wouldn’t recommend you do that if there is room for building more sexual tension. In such case, perhaps make a lighter IOM (with less release) by enforcing the mutual escalation or grabbing her hand.

Now, keep in mind that in my next post we will discuss more in depth the concepts of “breaking” and “releasing” in terms of sexual tension, and we will discuss how to seal the deal in an interaction fueled by sexual tension.

Recap

In this post, we have mostly discussed how to build comfort whenever a girl tries to release (or even break) the tension. The idea here is that these techniques will make her more comfortable with the existing tension between you and her, lowering the chances of her releasing or even breaking it.

Here is what we covered in this post:

• Moving her around to create comfort

• Caress & Comfort – a physical touch that generates comfort

• “It’s on Moments” (IOMs) – a physical move that creates a feeling of “officialness” that there is something going on between you two

In my next post, I will cover how you can control the sexual tension – i.e., how to manage the tension when the environment works in your favor and how you can use fractionation to not only amplify it (very powerful stuff) but also be in full control of it.

Here is my promise: after I am done with this series (and there are a few posts remaining), there is literally nothing (for now) that I know about sexual tension that I will not have presented to you guys. And if I make new discoveries, I will absolutely share them.

I know there is a good chunk of advanced material to digest in these posts regarding sexual tension. Lots of the material can seem a bit vague and maybe overly complicated. I would like to make 2 things clear for now:

• You do not absolutely need sexual tension to get laid; however, it makes the seduction very pleasurable for both of you, and you increase your chances of pushing her to the point of no return – guaranteeing you a lay without any resistance. The sex that occurs will be more passionate in nature. So, is it required that you focus on sexual tension? No. However, is it worth it? In my opinion: hell yes!

• This is advanced material. Again, do not panic, as it will all look easier once you get to experience it. Read my posts and try out a few things that you learned from them. See how it goes and reread to amplify your understanding. You are not dumb if you don’t get everything after the first read.

Everything mentioned here is actually easier to pull off than to explain. I am also allowing myself to share more advanced stuff. I hope this material feels fresh to many of you.

This is a subject that I am personally very interested in, so please do not hesitate to comment and ask questions.

Stay tuned...

Alek

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READ NEXT: “Part V: How to Recover from a Sexual Tension Break”