4 Qualities Every "Devil May Care" Man Has

Knight-

Yes, that's a great one. You'll find you can use that to calm yourself in all manner of situations.

I've been on airplanes that have hit bad turbulence a few times while crossing one ocean or another, and have felt the plane go into what seemed like free fall in a couple of instances. When that happens, and my amygdala wants to panic, I remind myself, "Worst case scenario? The plane plunges into the ocean and you die on impact and you won't even notice or care." The fear goes away. The worst thing that can happen is you die - and then it's all fine anyway.

On less life-and-death type situations, a nice way of doing this is asking yourself how important this seems from 30,000 feet. If you were flying on an airplane 30,000 feet over where you are right now, and looking down, how important would all this seem to you? Sometimes you'll do this, and just end up laughing... this thing that seems like such a huge deal is, really, nothing.

Chase

You're most certainly welcome, Anon - glad you liked.

Chase

Tanbul-

Absolutely. All these things your emotions are pushing you so hard to get... much of the time, you wait a while, and the emotion fades, replaced by something else.

It's a transient world we live in.

Chase

Damian-

Duly noted. A few commenters have requested "Sexy Man 2.0" type article - I might role this concept in with that and include more video examples where relevant / available.

Chase

Yes, great point. The emotions dull for the known, but they're still there for the unexplored and the unfamiliar.

As you become more skilled, if you want to continue to feel, all you need to do is keep pushing the boundaries. Excitement and liveliness and joy live always right at the frontier of what you think is achievable.

Chase

Funman-

On this attitude with humbleness and vulnerability: a man who's devil may care will tend to have a sense of self-deprecation about him as a means of making himself more approachable and not overly high and mighty; he'll also have vulnerabilities that he will show glimmers of in passing, more intimate moments, which he'll then quickly "cover up" again or move on from - leaving the woman wanting to peel back the mask and find out more, to discover this hidden pain beneath the nonchalant façade.

When trying to couple devil may care with direct, you need to adopt a more tongue-in-cheek style - e.g., you might say, "Do you always dress this well, or only when you anticipate meeting scintillating new men?"

Chase frames - yes, sexy but unmoved, like Bond. You don't want to seem to be growing obviously aroused / excited, or else it's too much (and looks too reactive). You instead want the appearance of a man who is himself sexual, and who's simply projecting his emotions onto her and causing her to feel the same (which, actually, is what you're doing).

Chase

Gal-

I can understand the fear of being "exposed" by not being a good kisser. In reality, you don't have much to worry about there - there are plenty of people in their 20s and 30s who still are awful at kissing too. If you never learn anything else about kissing, you'll still be fine. Same with sex - if you don't tell her you're a virgin, and you don't act overly nervous or shy, she'll just assume you're bad at sex or too drunk (if you were drinking before), rather than a virgin, your first time.

Aside from the different kissing techniques in the how to kiss a girl article, at its most basic kissing is:

• Put your face in front of hers
• Close your eyes as you go in
• Turn your face slightly to one side (e.g., your nose should be on the right or left of her nose)
• Kiss one of her lips and hold (one of her lips between your lips)
• Make kissing motions
• Open your eyes slowly as you pull back

Optional are things like stroking the back of her head while kissing, etc.

You'll figure it out pretty quickly as soon as you're doing it!

Chase

Next Time-

I used the two interchangeably sometimes, but they are actually slightly different.

Nonchalant connotes a sort of, "Okay, whatever," attitude about everything. Meanwhile, devil may care is more a knowing shrugging of the shoulders about something, with a hint of playfulness.

To see the difference, imagine two men playing roulette and making a huge bet. A woman excitedly points out to each man that he may lose everything if the wheel doesn't turn in his favor.

The nonchalant man looks completely bored and says, "Well, if it happens, it happens," as if he couldn't care less what the outcome is - he could win, he could lose; it wouldn't make an iota of difference to him emotionally.

Meanwhile, the devil may care man looks her square in the eyes, smiles his impish smile, and says, "I know."

Chase

Anon-

See the article on being judgmental:

Stop Being So Judgmental: It's All Actor-Observer Bias

... and maybe the one on depression too, where I talk about judgment being a negative thought cycle that doesn't actually change anything about the world but does succeed in making you feel pretty miserable as you do it:

How to Overcome Depression

Chase

Wes-

Awesome to hear you're making progress. I saw you have a "kissing buddy" now - nice going ;)

Yeah, I can do an article on the whole girls-begging-for-sex thing. I'll ask my pal if he wants to write it up or, failing that, I'm familiar enough with the general technique / have used it myself enough times that I should be able to do a pretty competent article on it. I'll throw it in the queue.

Chase

Tom-

Probably the best solution for this is either approaching her with a group of your friends too, or approaching her and inviting her to a party or party-type situation where you'll have other people there who can occupy her friends and give her some time to get her one-on-one.

If you can't do that, there's always the ballsy approach - just walk up to her, friends and all, and say, "Pardon me for interrupting," to her friends, then, "Hey - I always see you and I've been meaning to come and talk to you, but you're always with friends. Would you grab an ice cream or a coffee with me sometime, and we can find out if we enjoy each other's company?"

Then ask her when's good for this, and grab her phone number. Say "cool" once you have it, and then, to the friends, "I'll let you guys get back to socializing."

Chase

Anon-

Check out my comment on the "sexy body language" article about younger role models here.

Unless you can grow stubble, you can't perfectly replicate the benefits of having facial hair while you're still young, but you can assume a sexier attitude / stance / fashion - there's a lot you can do to be more attractive aside from facial hair.

Chase

Anon-

Right now, the most popular sexy / fashion hairstyle is the swept over bangs look, like these:

I have an upcoming article on hairstyles for whenever your next trim is - stay tuned!

Chase