Should Guys Still Worry About Anti-Slut Defense?

Times have changed in regards to sexual liberalism among women. Particularly, anti-slut defense is becoming less prevalent. But should we stop using ASD-busters?

I initially planned to keep up with my COVID-19 related posts. However, I received a fascinating response from a reader about my first article on dating apps (where I share my perspective that I do not like them).

The question was posed by user doncgiovanni:

“Hey,

In this article, you said anti-slut defense is ALMOST a thing of the past. I read a couple of your articles on sex talk and gambits. The crucial part of them always seems to be framing women as not sluts, rather expressing their sexuality.

Do you find this not so necessary anymore? I’m finding more and more girls in alternative circles just owning their “slutness” and not giving a damn... which is great :)

Do you think it’s cool to just skip this part with some girls/most girls? How do you go about it?

By the way, love your articles, contributions to this scene.”

DG

Women often resist sexual approaches so they are not perceived as sluts or “easy” in their peers' and friends’ eyes, and the eyes of potential lovers. And many men dislike “easy women” for various reasons. So a defense mechanism occurs that makes women turn down sexual moves, and act more asexual than they really are. It’s as if they were “hiding” their sexuality.

Society has traditionally controlled and suppressed female sexuality for centuries. To understand why, review my earlier article on anti-slut defense (ASD).

In today’s Western world (this may be different in non-Western countries), women seem looser around sexuality because of cultural changes. Pop music, political discourse, and youth culture all motivate sexual behavior.

Dealing with ASD (removing her barriers about being sexual with a guy) and making her comfortable being sexual with you is a major part of the game. It’s usually done by:

• Reframing sex as natural and not a big deal

• Framing sex as positive rather than something that should be judged negatively

• Framing sexual liberalism as good and healthy

• Framing yourself as a sexual guy who is nonjudgmental

• Pointing out how unfair and detrimental it is to judge women for their sexuality

• Communicating low-keyness

Our reader is asking a good, straightforward question. If ASD is diminishing — if not disappearing from Western female minds — then why still worry about it? Why would I still advocate using ASD-busting techniques, like communicating sexually liberal ideals and low-keyness?

There are multiple reasons.