Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How Victim Mentality Can Stifle Your Life – and Luck with Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

victim mentalityWhen I first began working in the self-help industry in earnest, I was, as most new to the industry are, overcome with a desire to help others. The pride I got when hearing I'd helped someone turn around his station in life with women, or turn around his life in general, was great. It's still wonderful to hear, but back then it was amazing.

It took me a while to recognize it, but there was another side of the coin to self-help too; it's the side I mentioned in "How to Master Anything" when talking about the "complainers" (as contrasted to the "fixers"), and it was the people you'd run into that you couldn't help. These were the ones who seemed like they wanted help, and they were there asking for it, but you just couldn't break through.

Eventually I did some research on it, and found out there was a distinct psychological term for this: it's called "victim mentality."

And it isn't the people you think who have it. It isn't some poor pathetic schmuck sitting around in his room moping about why life has to be so hard. Sure, that guy's got it too, but there are a lot of other people who have it:

  • Parents
  • Teachers
  • Bosses
  • Colleagues
  • Models and actresses
  • Jocks and playboys

... I've met people in almost every walk of life with victim mentalities. It's surprising when you encounter it, and you see it to different degrees... but it's there.

For me, recognizing my own victim mentality a long time ago was key to getting my life moving again in the right direction. And at the same time, I spent a decade in "neutral" because of my own refusal to see it and fight it, and I've met scores of people along the way similarly bogged down by this.

If you want to break free of it - if you really want the kind of life you want, with the kinds of things you want in it - this is another one of those situations where you'll find that the answer doesn't lie in the world changing to suit you... but rather, this answer lies within.

Gym Pickup: Dos, Don'ts, and How to Meet Girls at a Gym

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

gym pickupIn the comment section of the article on how to have a sexy walk, Matt remarked:

“Excellent article, my brother! Would love to see a post about direct/indirect pick ups specifically at the gym. Seems like a great place for day game, girls at the gym are obviously some of the hottest you'll see out in the day cause they're fit and healthy... but it's a challenging proposition. Many are listening to iPods, plugged into their music and workout. Whenever I talk to a girl at the gym I feel like I'm "disrupting" her workout.

Matt”

One of the very first places I picked up from when I was brand new to cold approach was the gym. In that case, it was a girl who worked at the gym who I sort of knew from class (I was in university at the time), but hadn't spoken to before, and I took the gym as my opportunity to do so - and then to have her drive me to get some food, and set up a proper date.

You might think gym pickup is inordinately hard simply because there are so many big muscular guys there, or because the women look so good (and there are so few of them), or because it's so brightly lit and obvious, or because since everyone else is focused on putting weights in the air and treadmill tread behind them, and that you're really going to stick out when you approach.

But in fact, there are certain advantages to meeting girls in the gym for a socially savvy man, not the least of which is the fact that most of those guys who are working out so hard there are doing so because they have no idea how to get women.

So there's not actually as much competition as you think. And in certain ways, even the environment itself can work to your benefit.

In this post, we'll take a close look at the dos and don'ts of gym pickup, along with the how-tos for opening and game at the gym.

Want to Be the First to Join the New Forum? Here's How...

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

forum launchI'm thrilled to announce that the new forum is up and ready, and we're going open it up to the first 35 new members. A little later in this post, I'll tell you what we're looking for in the initial group of people we let through the doors, and how you can be among them.

First though, what can you expect to find in the new forum?

The basic layout of the new Girls Chase forum is similar to that of the now-defunct Fast Seduction forum that the original pickup and seduction community formed out of; first alt.seduction.fast, then mASF. If you don't know what any of that means, don't worry - but for the fellas who've been around a while, that's the history.

The actual functionality you'll encounter is a handful of forums and sub-forums that we've designed to be clear enough to keep things organized, but not so overwhelming that you won't know where to start:

  • there's a Beginners Board with a newbie start guide and common questions
  • a Tactics Board for specific techniques and strategies
  • a Field Reports Board for sharing your experiences and getting feedback
  • a Relationships Board for hashing out relationship questions and advice
  • an Advanced Board for sharing and learning advanced observations and techniques

... and a few more. Each board is broken down into between 1 and 3 sub-boards on various related topics: opening, journals, long term relationships, online dating, and the like.

Why are we only letting in 35 people right now?

How to Be Edgy (and Turn Women On)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to be edgyMost of the time, you walk about the world meeting ordinary people living ordinary lives who leave little of an impression on you. That's life.

But, every now and again, you see someone, or run into someone, who strikes you a certain way. You can't quite put your finger on what exactly that something is - the individual has a certain degree of intensity about him, you think; or a piercing gaze. He might not be charismatic; and he might not be sexy or sensual. But he's definitely got something.

This is a post about that "something;" about how to be edgy. Edge is a particularly difficult thing to learn, and teach, because it entails a specific rawness about oneself that most people simply lack. And that rawness is difficult to emulate when you don't have it... perhaps more difficult than being sexual, more than being charismatic, more difficult than almost anything else.

And while it is necessary for you to transcend into the higher levels of success with women, it isn't a magic bullet; you'll meet plenty of men with edges who still struggle with girls, too. It's a component, and a vital one, but it isn't all that good on its own.

Adrian commented the following recently over on the post about indirect game:

“Chase,

Great to hear from you! Cultivating an "edge" is something you often talk about. That said, my understanding of what exactly constitute this "edge" is still rather spotty. To me, cultivating an "edge" is a movement along the "disarming and friendly" model towards the "bad-boy/don't-give-a-shit" model. Considering being warm and welcoming an integral factor in your process, how does cultivating an "edge" fit into it? Furthermore, during your journey in developing "edge" to your character, what are some specific areas/mindsets you worked on?

Many thanks,
A”

All right Adrian, let's talk about it. We've talked about being a sexy man plenty on here, and the vibes and nuances that go along with that.

Now let's talk about being edgy itself, and how that's different from sexy... and just how combining edginess with sexiness turns you into a very compelling character, to everyone you encounter.

How Long to Wait Before Calling (or Texting) Her

Ricardus Domino's picture

By: Ricardus Domino

how long to wait before callingOne question that confuses the hell out of a lot of guys (and also confused the hell out of me when I first learned all this sexual Jedi mind power stuff) is how long to wait before calling (or texting) a girl… and how to move things forward towards a date and beyond once you do call her.

You may have heard that you should not be too eager, and you may even have heard about the three day rule… get in touch with her after three days.

Then again, that one is so common now that a text or call after three days doesn’t really surprise anyone anymore…

What’s a man to do?

And what about dates… how can you really sweep a woman off her feet anymore, or should you even be concerned with that question?

What if you don’t want to drink alcohol… and even if you do, can’t “drinks” be too stiff or formal?

What’s the right way to go?

10 Ways to Have a Girl Take You Seriously – and LOVE It

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

ways to have a girl take you seriouslyWhen you start tackling women and dating as a skill set, once you get past the initial hump of overcoming the approach anxiety you feel and getting yourself into a routine of getting out to meet new women regularly and build up experiences and test out new things, it becomes one of the more addictive things you'll do.

For most people, meeting attractive members of the opposite sex that they like is one of the most rewarding things out there, and when you start learning how to pick up a girl you realize more power and flexibility in that arena than most ever will. It's... intoxicating.

And then you hit a plateau.

You stop improving.

Things get hard... frustrating... you hit a barrier it starts to feel like you'll never get through.

Last week on the post about indirect game, Balla made a comment about one of these barriers he'd hit, and it was one I recognized myself, because it plagued me for a long time. Here's his comment:

“Hey chase, just want to say i like how you stay so apart of this website and help us guys out but can you please tell me what I'm doing wrong. I come straight out with my interest to females, I move fast, i dont stick around them very long or do any of that friend zone crap because my time is important, they give me so much attention, they flirt with me, they hug up all over me and hold hands, they buy me things and drive me around. I get treated like a star with all the compliance I get but when it comes to them coming over my pad it never happens. What's going on?”

What's happening to Balla - and what happened to me, and what happens to most guys who learn game - is all about one big, and very annoying when you're going through it, problem: women not taking you seriously.

And to get you over that hump, I've put together this article, on entirely that topic; to teach you once and for all the ways to have a girl take you seriously.

Sexual Tension: 7 Ways to Make Women Excited and Randy

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sexual tensionSometime back ago, when I was still new to learning about seduction, I shared with a friend the tale of a girl I'd gone out with and the sexual dialogue I'd tried using to get her mind going the right way... and how disappointed I was it hadn't seemed to have had the desired effect.

“My man,” I remember him saying to me at the time, “I notice you keep trying to use words to get women excited and turned on. But words aren't very good at this. You need to use sexual tension.”

And I heard this, and I thought it sounded like a great idea... except I had no idea how to create sexual tension, how to use it, or where to even start with it. And my friend, for all his wisdom, was at a loss to explain it.

So, I did what any real student of anything does who is unable to find the answer by simpler means, and I embarked on a quest to discover the mechanisms of this phenomenon and to find the key to unlock its power for myself.

Recently, years later, I found myself in the opposite position, recommending to readers that they use sexual tension, this time in the “How to Kiss a Girl” article from last week, and having the very first commenter on the post, a guy named Josh, remark:

“I would like to see a post on sexual tension. How and when to create it and sustain it. I see you mention touching and proximity to create this and maybe some eye contact that last just a little to long. Those along with some playful banter maybe as well? It's amazing how much of flirting and seduction are non-verbal.”

Well Josh, the fortunate thing is, unlike my friend from that conversation past, this is one I had to put together over time and figure out the puzzle pieces for, and I can both tell you how to create it, and tell you how to use it.

Now let me show you how you can build and direct sexual tension to drive the women you meet lusty, horny, and randy, in minutes or less.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 10th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

It's time for the 10th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! Bringing you a selection of the best articles on dating, relationships, sex, psychology, and more from across the web.

We've got eight articles for you in total this week, with an unusual number of pieces offering more or less profound looks into human psychology. In addition to these, we have for your sampling some hard hitting advice against blaming others, some unconventional advice on how long to wait before you start dating again after a breakup, some unexpected advice on the most powerful tool in the bedroom, and a couple of tips for women on knowing if that shy guy friend is into them and a rather humorous way to go about knowing if that man they're seeing is "The One."

On with the carnival...

Social Skills 101: Reading and Using Body Language

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

This is the first official installment in my new series on social interactions. In case you're just tuning in, the series kicked off last week with "Social Skills 101: Pushing Past Your Comfort Zone." Now it’s time for us to really get into some solid, practical tips and tidbits you can start using as soon as you finish this article... this time on body language.

using body language

Chase just had a great post on putting together a sexy walk that went into detail on a very specific area of your body language (how you move through the world); and now I’m following it up with a broader-stroke post on general body language.

On this site, we often reference reading body language and using body language, and while it may not seem all that important, it in fact can make or break a pick up or general social interaction.

It can also get pretty complicated, so I wanted to get you an article on reading and using body language, and why it matters.

Here it is.

New Forum Launching Soon; What "Join Bonus" Would Tempt You the Most?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Hey gents,

Girls Chase ForumWe're preparing to launch a new forum here for everyone interested in talking shop, sharing techniques and strategies, keeping field reports to track their interactions and get feedback from others on how they're doing and how they can improve, and a whole lot more.

This way, once there are enough users online, you can get instantaneous feedback, even if you're in the middle of a date like that guy on the right.

The plan is to open the doors first to a select group of initial members (post upcoming on how to get included in this first group, probably later this week) before opening the doors to a wider audience.

But what I'd like to know right now is: what free information product would offer you the most incentive to try the forum out?