Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

What’s Different When You Talk to a Hot Girl?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Do you need to do things different when talking to a hot girl?

One of the most ridiculous things I see in the comments section of this website sometimes is this:

“This is stupid. It only works on average looking girls... it would NEVER work on a hot girl / a beautiful girl / a real 10.”

talk to a hot girl

No qualification is given to the argument, or the experience level of the argument-maker.

There's no evidence to back the statement up.

There's no alternative solution offered.

It's just a random, unqualified wave-of-the-hand dismissal, hanging there in space, pooh-poohing 2,000+ words of case-making with what amounts to the esteemed argument of "Nope - you're wrong, I'm right, no proof necessary, I just know it! Case closed."

I see it on all kinds of articles. Everything from how to flirt with women, to how to hold a conversation with a girl, to how to handle logistics. It's indiscriminate... to believe these commenters is to believe that beautiful women live lives of celibacy, never interacting with those base creatures called "men," immune as they are to the charms of "men."

It's silliness.

But I understand where it comes from.

To the average man, hot and beautiful women really ARE like strange creatures from another world.

Mr. Regular Guy never interacts with them.

He never gets to know them.

To them, he does not exist, and to him, they exist merely as dreams... fantasies.

Is it really no different when you talk to a hot girl?

Or could it be there's something I'm not telling you?

No Going Backwards

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

no going backwardsOne of our members on the discussion boards recently wrote about a girl he'd been out on a date with, who was very attracted to him, and with whom he'd made it all the way back to his place.

They reached his home, only for her to refuse coming upstairs with him. He persisted; she refused. He persisted; she refused. She then counter offered that he accompany her to a bar - he relented, then accepted. Once at the bar, they shared a few rounds of passionate kisses, then parted ways.

A few days later this girl who'd been previously very attracted to him - enough to accompany him all the way back to his home and to kiss him passionately at the bar texted him something very kind and considerate that concluded with her having realized they "didn't really have all that much in common after all." She was no longer interested in seeing him anymore.

He was surprised; she'd clearly been so attracted to him before. Why the sudden switch?

The reason why, I responded, was that he'd allowed her to take things backwards in the seduction; instead of moving ahead, things deescalated and retreated.

Going backwards in a seduction, as we will see in this article, does all kinds of bad things for you with precedent and attraction that you'll want to not have anything to do with... it's the seduction equivalent of the shady part of town you're better off steering clear of at all costs.

Time Efficiency Done Right

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I'm going to take a bit of a tangent from the usual here to discuss the topic of time efficiency and ways that you can make your social life (and the rest of your life) much more efficient.

time efficiency

This article is in answer to K's comment here that asks:

“Hey Chase!

Thank you so much for this website. It is truthfully the only comprehensive "how to live life" site that takes a logical approach to everything. I especially enjoyed the "Are you smart post". The difference between hard working and smart is truly all important. It would be amazing if you could get a post up here about how to be incredibly time efficient, so that we can learn how to really maximize the effectiveness of our work.

Thanks again,

K”

K's referencing the article "Are You Smart? It Doesn't Much Matter Either Way," in which we examined some research done on children praised as "smart" compared to children praised as "hard working" from an early age. The findings were that the children praised as "smart" early on shied away from hard problems later in life out of fear of failing and proving themselves "not smart," while children praised as "hard working" early on dove into hard problems later in life in with zest to show how "hard working" they really were.

In this article, I want to turn the spotlight onto the topics of hard limits, autopilot, and also revisit some of what we discussed in the article on ego depletion - so we can talk about how one becomes truly time efficient.

How to Stop a Cockblock (Without Breaking a Sweat)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Over on the discussion boards, Landlord (a knowledgeable guy who's been having plenty of success and taking a bunch of girls to bed recently) asked about strategies on how to stop a cockblock:

cockblock

“This girl was really into me, we had a great conversation, I went in for a kiss, she protested, I insisted, she gave me a strong, aggressive kiss/....she even 'apologized' for being so aggressive. Within 20 seconds, obstacle grabs her hand and drags her away.

HB9 immediately changes tone...says "you had your chance" and gives me her back walking away. I wait, go to the bathroom, then pursue. Ask for the number, she says "I would rather take yours, I want to be in control." I make a joke about that, put my number in her phone, then ring myself. She gives me shit about that. Will try to follow up, but not expecting any response.

A great interaction with a girl which included a kiss close and a number close was spoiled because I didn't handle the friend right....”

The good news is, Landlord heard from the girl in his example here later on, and they made plans to meet up. So not all was lost (the full thread on the boards is here).

If you're out and about and actively meeting new women in social venues, though (picking up girls in bars, nightclubs, parties, lounges, networking events, happy hours, get-togethers), you're sure to run into the problem of cockblocks sooner or later, and you'll often end up going half-mad when you do. How can someone else just come up and interrupt you and this girl when you're talking to one another and simply drag her away?

In this article, we'll be aiming to help you remedy these situations, by examining the two approaches to neutralizing the cockblock: prevention of the thing, and cure.

Lower Your Standards (and Date Hotter Girls)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In "How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?," Balla asks whether to lower your standards in pursuit of getting the best results with women achievable:

“Hey Chase, I can agree with everything you wrote to a T. What I want to ask about is this.

You say naturals are better to learn from right? What I want to know is what your teaching us is natural stuff or pick up stuff? I ask because I know you learned on your own but I know that you also did learn how to pick up from naturals and puas.

I actually want to be natural, how do I become natural? I want to be the best I can be and know I can be better than a pua. Please don't tell me it's too late to become a natural seducer. Should I just sleep with all types of girls no matter how they look?
Thanks Chase!”

lower your standards

My answer was "it depends," and while I went into a bit more detail in my response in the comment section, this question's rather a nuanced one... and it depends very much on what you want, how you want to or can afford to go about getting it, and, ultimately, how far you're willing to go in order to get there.

In this article, we'll take a closer look at what things the answer "depends" upon - and what the different options are for you.

But ultimately, I want to discuss how lowering your standards can actually lead you to higher quality, more beautiful women over the long haul.

4 Qualities Every "Devil May Care" Man Has

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

devil may careIn the article that poses (and answers) the question "how much do looks matter?," a commenter asked the following about having a devil may care attitude:

“I don't know if you've heard the quote:

“The attitude dictates that you don’t care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin’. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.”

But I'm aiming for a Devil May Care attitude. And I would appreciate some insight on your attitude as far as badboy/alpha/dominant.. Etc.

Since mindset effects your outlook which effects your actions I think it's something to definitely touch on.”

 

I referred him first to the relevant articles on this site for adopting the actions and behavior patterns of the cool, indomitable outsider that women adore:

... but what his question really seemed to be about was not actions, but mindsets; what does it feel like to be that devil-may-care guy... how do you think about things when you are this way... and how do you get to be this way in the first place?

This article's about that. It's about what it feels like to get an injection of attitude straight into the artery, and it's about how you go about getting that injection in the first place.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 22nd Edition

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

May I present to you the Carnival of Dating Advice, 22nd Edition, here to bring you some of the best reads on dating, relationships, psychology, and more from across the web.

The article selection this time makes for an interesting mix of breezy reading, including a top 25 list on date ideas and a quick article on the psychology of attachment (in this case, to food), with some articles designed to make you stop and think, including those on mother issues, emotional unavailability, and treating relationship building as a problem-solving exercise.

Let's dive in...

Sexy Body Language for Men (Learned from Hot Girls)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I thought this would be a fun article to write.

If you haven't spent much time learning body language and expressions from the very sexy and attractive women you meet, you've been missing out on a valuable source of highly applicable lessons in being sexy, seductive, and downright charming. Pretty women might seem like an odd place to learn about men's body language, but they are, in fact, one of your most invaluable sources of preciously good information.

body language for men

In "How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?" I mentioned learning how to do well with girls mostly from guys who were seemingly naturally good with women. One of the biggest differences between these guys and other guys, I feel like, is that these guys usually have game that mimics that of women.

They get good by essentially taking what women do with them, and doing it right back toward women.

Many of the things on this site that constitute some of my bigger contributions to "game tech" (e.g., deep diving, pre-opening, Law of Least Effort, etc.) are partly or wholly drawn from adapting things I've watched women do with me and others.

I won't review the larger items here I've already covered in detail in other articles on the site - instead, this article will be focused on small little things you can do, that you might not have been aware of, that women do to you all the time and that are just as effective when you do them back. I've broken them down here into two classes: the physical, and facial expressions.

How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

do looks matterLately, a friend of mine has been bringing up a recently acquired belief that looks are everything, and everything else is nothing, when it comes to meeting and picking up women. I've avoided being drawn into the debate as best I can, but any time I mention anything women-related, I've been hearing it from him: “Oh, I don't even listen to that, because the only thing that matters is looks.”

Disagreeing with him gets one told one is in denial, and he cites a few examples of very good looking friends of his who get better results with women than anybody else he knows as evidence that only good looking guys can get good looking girls.

I've refrained from weighing in too much on this until now, because I understand why he's thinking this way and why he's trying to convince everyone that looks are all that matters. But I felt like the topic is a good one, and that it'd make for good article fodder and be something worth addressing here. The topic being:

Do looks matter to women, and if so how much?

And the answer I've got for you here will almost certainly surprise you, no matter which side of the fence you fell on prior to reading this.

What to Do When You Meet Awkward Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

awkward womenA reader named Tomas asks the following about interacting with awkward women in "Spell Broken: Big Mistakes That Shred Conversation":

“Just have a question. Some women do exactly one or more of those. They don't keep things light and/or stuck at topics and/or hold on to opposite opinions provoking debates and/or criticize... it might be even done unconsciously.

Sometimes she breaks the spell almost systematically and you cannot do anything. Those women may be attracted at first, but they literally undermine their own attraction to you. And I mean, not by your fault.

How should such situations be handled? If you persist, she loses all attraction. If you address the elephant in the room, she will be offended and sent into auto-rejection. In both cases, she will blame you for the result, not herself. Another option is just to disqualify her and run... Or is a better way?”

I remember running into girls like this when I was still figuring out my approach with women exactly. It sort of feels like these girls have antibodies against connection formation. It's like they simply don't want to get to know people on an intimate basis.

Eventually I realized that they were doing the same thing I used to do back in high school - using humor and debate and topic-jumping to protect themselves from getting into any real, meaningful conversation... or any conversation that ventures too close to the personal.

Realizing this, I set about trying to get to the bottom of it - and to see if I could find a way around it.