Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Flirt with a Girl

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

The other day I got told I was a very good flirt. And, I suppose, I am. Of course, I wasn't always a good flirt... well, perhaps I was always at least a little bit of a flirt.

What's it matter if you know how to flirt with a girl or not? In fact, it matters a good deal. Flirting is how you arouse a girl's interest and make her start imagining the two of you getting together. And once you've gotten her thinking about it – and gotten her thinking about it in a fun, suggestive way – you're a lot closer to taking it out of her and your imagination and into the real world.

In this post, we're going to focus on what most men do wrong when it comes to flirting with women, what the right mindsets are for a man who's a successful flirt, and what talented flirts do. So purse your lips and lower your eyelids a smidge; we're going to get flirty.

Just Friends: A Man's Worst Nightmare

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

My girl was over and we were talking earlier about how difficult a time it is for a woman to find a quality guy she likes a lot. She spooled off a quick list of men she'd been on dates with who hadn't made the cut: there was the older doctor who lied about his age, and the guy she went to the movies with who had touched her arm and creeped her out. But the one who stood out the most to me was the one she described as her "good friend."

This was a guy who took her out to walk on the ice over a lake in town that had frozen over. There, the guy professed to her that he would satisfy all her needs. At the moment when he said that, she briefly asked herself, "Huh. Could I have sex with this guy?" Her answer was no, it'd be weird. He was her friend.

And then she said something that really stood out:

"I like him as a friend. We can talk about anything. I'm like his guy friend. And he's like my girlfriend."

Play to Win

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I was just playing a computer game, this combination zombie / Sim City style game called Rebuild, where you try to expand your city while at the same time keep your defenses up to guard against sporadic zombie attacks that you can't predict and don't know when will strike. I am pretty swamped with work at the moment, and don't allow myself much leisure time aside from socializing or seeing friends or spending time with girls... playing that game an hour or two a day is one of the few things I do to unwind these days.

Anyway, at one point in the game I was faced with a decision: I'd taken some heavy losses, and I had a chance to make a critical expansion, but to take that chance, I was going to have to leave myself vulnerable to attack. I might be attacked and lose the game if I took that chance, or I might not be attacked and I'd make a much-needed step forward. At first I thought, "No, it's too dangerous – maybe I should just play it safe and progress slowly." But then I realized, at the rate I was going, with the losses I'd already suffered, playing it safe probably wasn't going to pan out in the end. It was either play to win, and maybe win, or maybe lose on the spot, or play it safe, and probably die a slow death instead.

Baiting vs. Trading Information

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Most men who've been studying the social arts a little while come to realize, either consciously or instinctually, that coming out and telling women things about themselves unasked is an inferior means of conversing than first being asked for things before telling them. People start to come to understand the laws of effort and investment intuitively, and they recognize that another person putting in effort to learn something about them is better than another person putting in no effort and learning something about them regardless.

Even then, though, this rule – a very important social rule – often flies under the radar of most men, and they continue seeking to build rapport with women (or even attempting to force rapport, you might say) by sharing as much free, unasked for information about themselves as they can.

I call this "trading information," and view it as one of the vilest, most heinous social crimes you can commit. It does two things that are positively detrimental to your efforts to be charming and engaging and delightful and seductive with women, and, after an example of what many guys do and you ought not to do, I'll explain both of those below. Then, I'm going to introduce a concept some of you may be familiar with but many are not: baiting, and how you as a conversationalist can use it to get women vastly more invested in you and your conversations with them.

Sex and Alcohol

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A good, if somewhat disreputable, buddy of mine in Southern California who'd bedded a significant number of women he'd met primarily at dive bars once summed up his philosophy of getting girls to me like this: "Just get 'em drunk, bring 'em home, get 'em more drunk, and have sex!" Ah, the age-old combination of sex and alcohol.

People've been doing it that way since the Ancient Greeks were sporting togas and spears. Sex and alcohol have gone hand-in-hand in human society for a long, long time. Stands to good reason there ought to be some good reasons for it, then, too.

Everyone knows why the two make such good bedfellows: alcohol lowers inhibitions, and sex is something we tend to have a lot more when our inhibitions are in said lowered condition. Alcohol also serves as a social lubricant – liquid courage, if you will – making men more bold and women more willing. But it goes deeper than that – and if you truly want to master the seductive arts, you're going to need to be willing to loosen your grip on the bottle, too.

Dating on Your Terms

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Ever meet a girl, and get her contact information, and then start chatting with her via phone or text message, and then go to set up a date with her – maybe to get some food, maybe a drink, maybe to just chill and hang out and watch a movie at your place – only to have her offer a counterproposal that suited you far less? Perhaps she suggested going shopping, or that you join her out with a group of her friends, or come to some party she was attending.

Ever accept one of those counteroffers? If you did, you may very well have kicked yourself for going later, when you ended up getting slotted into the friend zone and never got together with the girl. Maybe, just maybe, a guy tooth-and-claws it, and fights off her other suitors, and eventually on Date #6 he gets her in the sack, but of course by that point she has him firmly pinned down into boyfriend territory. And maybe she even does end up becoming his girlfriend because by that point he's invested so much in her that he thinks she's better than the other women he has available.

This is what happens when you don't date on your terms. You don't get the girl most of the time. Actually, most of the time, you waste your time, and get slotted into the friend zone, or become a potential boyfriend at best.

Solution? Stop dating women on their terms, and start dating them on yours.

How to Make Girls Chase Out Now!

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

It was a long time coming, but How to Make Girls Chase is done, complete, and out-the-door. This is my masterpiece, for the moment -- originally intended as my farewell bid to the world of seduction, but since I might stick around a bit longer, at least I have it out so that no matter what happens, there's a record of what I've soaked up and figured out over the past six years of learning, practicing, and teaching pick up and seduction.

HTMGC is 406 pages of detailed, practicable information presented in step-by-step fashion to guide you to success and results with women. It's designed to be both manageable for beginners, and invaluable to long-time practitioners of the social and seductive arts, with cutting edge techniques presented in an easy-to-follow format that explains the rationale behind it all - so you know both what works, and why it works.

Click here to add a copy to your cart and get the download in your email right now, or go to the How to Make Girls Chase sales and information page to learn more about the book.

Thanks for reading!

Chase

Conversation Example

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

conversation exampleAn example conversation (and accompanying point-by-point breakdown) with a woman just met, from the bumpy beginning to a bit after reaching the conversation's "hook point."

A few weeks back one of the readers here requested I get up an example of how a typical conversation goes for me with a new woman, and how I engage her. I tried to put a few conversations to paper over the past few weeks, but each of them was less than a great example – either because the girl engaged me a little too aggressively herself to be all that useful to beginning and intermediate guys, or because I knew the girl already through social circle so it wasn't a completely fresh connection, or because there were multiple people involved and I was juggling other men competing for a woman while I built a connection with her.

So rather than post up one of those messy examples, which might be useful in some ways but less-than-useful in others, instead I'll put up a made-up example conversation to show how you can use conversation to engage a girl who's moderately interested. Note that this is all stuff I use with real women and I've structured the girl's response to reflect how women typically respond to these conversational topics.

How to Not be the Creepy Guy

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I've posted a few articles recently that deal with casual relations. "Do Women Only Want Sex?" cuts to the core of what, specifically, women want from men; "Sexiness is Critical to Casual Relations" discusses some research highlighting how important being sexy is to netting rapid intimacy with women.

A reader sent me an email the other day after reading some of the posts on rapid intimacy, asking if I can help identify what it is he might be doing wrong. An excerpt from his message:

“I just can't figure out how any guy can sleep around without misleading girls about his intentions. With a lot of girls, I feel like I'm in a weird zone where they think I only want casual sex, but that they aren't attracted to me enough, so they don't like me at all (and I don't know whether I'm not attractive enough for them or whether they just don't want casual sex.) In this zone, they don't really want me around cuz they see me just as a roving dick on the hunt. That's what honesty gets you... But maybe I need to be more honest about the side of me that wants to get to know them? How do I even do that? Currently I just try to have fun with people, which is how I got over the creepy vibe, but I still feel like I have this worthless-player vibe.”

creepy guy

Okay, so I have a pretty good feeling for where this gent is. He is, it seems to me, at the point where he's relying on being fun and entertaining to keep women's interest and get them to like him, but it isn't translating well to intimacy, and he feels that without being fun and entertaining, he doesn't have much else to offer and people dub him "creepy."

Kind of a Catch-22: being fun and entertaining means women don't see you as all that sexual, but dropping the fun and entertaining vibe means people don't want to hang around and that certainly isn't terribly conducive to bedding new girls either.

Now, there's a post on this site up about how to be a sexy man, and that's the first place I'll point anyone who wants to know how to start instilling the right kinds of emotions in a woman: interest, curiosity, intrigue, and arousal. And we talk a lot about the drawbacks of being the entertainer guy in "Reactions from Women, or Results with Women? So those are a couple of great places to start if you're looking to get out of the habit of being entertaining and into the habit of being sexy.

But if you drop the fun and entertaining slant, and you end up seeming creepy… what causes that? That's the main thing I'd like to address in this post; basically, how not to be the creepy guy.

Women and Drama

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A couple times over the past week, my girlfriend came to my apartment and brought some drama along with her. If you know me, you know I'm a pretty Zen kind of guy, and part of the reason I'm able to keep my calm is because I do my best not to be directly involved in others' drama. Help them out, give them a hand and some insight, by all means, but do not get involved in the swirling maelstrom that is the drama of other people. I have my own life to tend to.

Well, Saturday afternoon and Tuesday evening each ended up being among those rare occasions these days where the drama was pointed squarely at me. Where it came from, and how I handled it, and how you can do the same, is what I aim to address in this post.