Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Showing Interest in Girls: Direct Game vs. Indirect Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

show interest direct vs. indirect gameThe way you show interest in a girl – and the time you do it at – differs by your approach. Will you go direct on her, or do things in a more indirect way?

Hey guys and welcome back.

I receive many emails and messages on the forums, about indirect game. My students also express concern about this.

Men often read my posts or hear about indirect game through other sources and usually dislike it, as they see it as too passive, slow, and complicated. There’s a misconception that you do not show any interest with indirect game, so you do not get to escalate the vibe nor screen for receptive girls. You waste tons of time with random girls, just chatting.

But this is not true.

You do show interest with indirect game; at least when done correctly. There are some extreme versions of indirect game, where you do not display any interest, hoping she will come running for you as she sees you as the prize. Some women like men who reject them. However, this only works if the girl is really into you and has a codependent personality. If not, the odds of it working are low. So it’s not a good strategy in my book.

In general, I advise that you show interest when using indirect game.

When compared to direct game and especially neo-direct game, it’s true that you will typically show less interest using indirect game. However, many direct gamers show too much interest, and I think they are just being uncalibrated. Uncalibrated pickup is not a style of pickup; it’s simply BAD pickup.

The real difference between indirect and direct game is when and how you show interest.

Before describing the indirect game mindset, I will discuss when and how to show interest and how it conveys you as “the prize.”

3 Jedi-Level Mind Hacks to Level Up Your Dating Life in 2023

Guest Contributor's picture

By: Guest Contributor

dating life level upsMen get into seduction to fix a need. Yet getting past this initial neediness is what’s required to reap the greatest dividends with women.

Getting girls to chase you; that’s the dream.

Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. I was shy, socially anxious, and couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life. Truly.

But a lot has changed since then, and now I’m a confident guy who can talk to any girl, anywhere. I have girls chasing me, and I am even married to my beautiful wife who I met on the street. I specialize in helping men make this same transformation—regardless of their current situation.

It’s funny. My coach John Cooper and I recorded REVERSE Pickup! How to Get Girls to Approach You! where we use a simple trick to get girls literally chasing and approaching us on the streets of Barcelona.

This is one way to do it.

But in this post, I will share three sustainable ideas that can help you level up your dating life and become the guy every girl wants to be with, without tricks. You won’t see these ideas often discussed in the dating community, but they took me from being good with women to being amazing with women.

So I hope they help you as much as they did me.

3 Ways of Directing a Woman's Behavior

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

directing a woman's behaviorHow can a man direct a woman’s behavior? Nice guys offer stuff… controlling guys smother. Confident guys set rules and women follow. But which works best?

When it comes to getting a woman to do something, men fall into three classes:

  1. Guys who hope if they’re nice women will just do what they want.

Approach Defense Among Women You Want to Meet

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women's approach defenseWhen you approach a new woman, she’ll normally have certain defenses in place. Understanding this romantic defense is vital for the savvy romantic pursuer.

Quick caveat: this article is one on seduction theory / underlying principles, rather than more tactical material. I’ll cover some tactics in it toward the end as well, but just a heads up that in this piece we’re looking more at the overarching nature of the dynamic in seduction. We’ll return to more typical stuff in the next article. On with the piece…

Today, we’ll be talking about the receptive/pursued party in a seduction as the ‘defender’. The ‘defense’ mentioned here is defense against pursuit and seduction by the pursuer. This does not mean the ‘defender’ doesn’t want the seduction to happen (the defender may!). We’ll discuss what that means as we get into it.

In every courtship you will have, there are only three possibilities:

  1. You are the pursuer, and the woman is the defender.

  1. The woman is the pursuer, and you are the defender.

  1. Both parties are equally interested and exactly on the same page.

#3 most men will experience most often with girls they meet who they want to ask out, where the girl also wants them to ask her out. These approaches seem so straightforward as to not be like the normal courtship process at all – and in fact, they aren’t (due to the complete lack of resistance). Less commonly, you may experience it with women who are as certain they want to hook up with you as you are with them, or equally as certain they want a relationship with you as you are them.

The rest of the time, one of the parties is going to be the pursuer, while the other party is the defender. Whichever party is taking more assertive, aggressive action is the pursuer. Whichever party stands back is the defender.

The defender decides if the pursuer can proceed forward; the pursuer is responsible for maintaining the forward movement of the seduction and figuring out ways to get the defender’s defenses lowered so the seduction can move forward.

If one of the parties is showing resistance, that party is the defender. If one of the parties is overcoming resistance, that party is the pursuer.

Normally it’s probably more helpful for the man’s psychology while in a seduction to frame seductions as mostly mutual, or a dance, etc. However, there are some concepts we can really only discuss with the framing of pursuit and defense.

For today’s article, we’ll temporarily set aside some of the more helpful mentalities, more conducive to a seductive mindset, to think about these aspects of seduction in a more revealing light.

When to Qualify a Girl You're Chatting Up

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

when to qualify a girlQualifying a girl is a vital courtship tool. Yet, is it better to do it early, before she’s gotten into it, or to wait until she’s more invested?

Hey guys. Welcome back. Last time, I discussed qualification, what it was, and how it works. It’s your to-the-point guide to qualification.

Here’s a recap.

Qualification shows interest:

  • Without appearing needy and supplicating
  • Without losing value and frame
  • By increasing her comfort level
  • By making her backward-rationalize her attraction to you
  • By creating a deeper connection between you two

How do you accomplish this?

  • Have her qualify naturally by bringing up an interesting subject she can relate to, agree with, or share an experience with.

  • Use a qualifier to trigger qualification: “are you X?” Her positive response means she is qualifying.

  • Use an assumption: “you seem X.” If she agrees and it is a positive assumption (“you seem like a caring person”), she is qualifying. If you make a negative assumption (although playful, like “you are trouble”), and she says no, she is qualifying.

  • Use disqualification: “You are sadly not X, so it will not work between us.” If she disagrees, she is qualifying.

  • Non-verbally to qualify by mutual touch or hand holding.

You may qualify her, but you should also qualify back. This is the moment you show interest.

  • Express a positive attitude toward her qualification: “I love that you are X.” Or “I am happy you are not X.”

  • Spontaneously qualify by expressing an opinion, an experience, or a story that matches hers. Do not overdo it.

Qualification should go both ways. You are testing her compliance level while creating an excuse for why you like her. This is crucial.

Since qualification goes both ways, it creates mutuality and intimacy, which provides many benefits, including comfort, boosted compliance, and less resistance.

So today, let’s discuss when you should qualify. We will begin by reviewing early game and two different schools of thought.

Tactics Tuesdays: Responding to Women's Dominance Tests

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women dominance testsWomen will test your dominance and leadership abilities at several key points in a courtship. How you respond determines where things go from there.

Picture yourself on a date with a woman. You met her last week via cold approach. Now the two of you are out walking around outside, deciding where you want to go next. She’s in a breezy summer dress, looking quite nice, but she seems standoffish.

There’s a lake five minutes’ walk from where you are with a nice view. You figure that will be a nice spot to visit. “Let’s swing by the lake,” you say. “The flowers are in-bloom. The view will be gorgeous!”

“I don’t want to go to the lake,” she says, sounding a little snippy. “It just rained yesterday. It’s probably all muddy.”

You didn’t ask her to do it; you made a command. You said “Let’s do this.” Her response was to directly test that, objecting to the plan and saying she wanted to do something else.

How do you respond to resistance like this – to these sorts of direct tests to your dating dominance? That’s the subject of this article.

8 Tradeoffs in Girls Men MUST Choose Between in LTRs

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

LTR tradeoffsChoosing a partner for a long-term relationship presents tradeoffs. The more a girl is one thing, the less something else she may be. What will YOU choose?

I’m a “have your cake and eat it too” type of guy. I do not like the idea of tradeoff much. If you’re having to make tradeoffs, maybe you just didn’t do things as well as you could’ve!

While that is true some of the time, life has many places where we must accept tradeoffs. Very often, to have one thing, we must accept less of another; especially so when the two things conflict.

One of the many areas in life this is true is in the long-term relationship. That is because some of the things you might think you’d like in an LTR directly conflict with others.

For instance, wanting a passionate relationship that is low drama. Or wanting a vivacious, quick-minded woman who is also submissive and unwaveringly supportive. These traits directly conflict with each other – as do many other desirable qualities in LTRs.

Picking the right long-term relationship pertains as much to knowing what tradeoffs you’re okay with as it does to anything else.

5 Ways to Qualify a Girl You're Seducing

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

qualify a girlWhen you qualify a girl, you let her know what you like about her. Employ these five (5) different qualifiers to move your seductions forward more easily.

Hi there, and welcome back. Today I will discuss qualification. We’ve covered this topic in multiple posts, and all approach it from different angles. They are all fantastic reads, and mastering qualification will benefit you irrelevant of your skill level (I will recap why shortly). It may not fall under “fundamentals,” but consider it more of a fundamental technique.

So, I intend to provide a “straight to the point” and “cut the crap” post on qualification. Like my earlier fractionation post, I want this to be a “simply explained” post.

If you want to delve deeper into qualification, take a look at our other posts. I’ve shared links at the end of this article.

10 Rules for AWESOME Text Message Banter

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

text message banterExpert text message banter takes a bit of skill – & a good handle on the text bantering rules! Follow these 10 vital rules to make your text banter BETTER.

One of the guys on our forum is getting back into dating after a long hiatus in a relationship.

He posted a text message interaction of his he had with a girl who hinted at some availability to meet him… but after the last of his messages she left him on read.

There were a few key mistakes he made in his text message banter that stood out quite clearly (chalk it up to being rusty). I figured we ought to do an article on text message banter rules.

If you follow these rules, you’ll be able to avoid the most common pitfalls men face text message bantering with girls. You’ll get more of the girls you want out on dates, instead of your text messages left on read.

What Women Think About You Is ALWAYS Subject to Change

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

what women think about you changesWomen are changeable. They change what they think and feel about you, as well as what they want. As a man, how do you deal with this? Can it even… be GOOD?

Women and their constantly shifting emotions and opinions on men frustrate many a man:

  • You meet a girl and she’s friendly, even flirtatious toward you. You start thinking it might go somewhere with this girl. Perhaps she could be your lover or your girlfriend! Then the next time you try to talk to her she’s cold, acting like she doesn’t even know you, and it’s like that earlier interaction never even happened. Sometime later, you run into her again, and again, she is friendly and warm – and now she’s even flirtier than she was before! What the heck?!

  • Or you meet a girl who seems very enthusiastic to come out on a date with you. Three days later she flakes over text, telling you she doesn’t feel ready to come out, and then she never responds to your texts again.

  • Meanwhile, some girl you know for a fact was spreading nasty rumors about you in your social circle and who clearly considered you some kind of enemy of hers has suddenly begun acting really sweet and girly toward you – and then she approaches you to ask you when the two of you are going to hang out! Huh?

This kind of behavior from women completely discombobulates your average, ordinary guy, and can even flummox some experienced rakes when they encounter it in situations unfamiliar to them. The rule to understand it is that what women think about you ALWAYS changes… it changes within relationships and it changes without them.

It is simply how women operate. It is an OEM part of Woman OS.