Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Why Cool Guys Are So Unflappable with Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

what makes cool guys unflappable with girlsWhat makes cool guys unflappable with girls… when so many other guys blow their lids? Why do girls have such hard times ‘getting’ to truly cool dudes?

Over the years, I have been noticing men taking women more and more seriously. The result of this is that men and women alike are both becoming angrier and lonelier.

It might seem counterintuitive that women would get angrier and lonelier from men taking them more seriously when women themselves are the ones demanding to be taken seriously. At least, it would seem counterintuitive – IF you were taking women seriously.

I’ll explain. When a woman says, “You need to take me seriously!” if you react to that in a serious way and say, “Wow, I guess I’d better take her seriously,” you are already taking her seriously, and she is only going to get angrier, and lonelier, and so are you.

The right way to respond to a woman doing something emotional is to interpret it as her being perturbed in some emotional way, possibly related to what her actual words are saying, but most likely not. Any relation that does exist is likely to be tangential or superficial, with the true motivator for her emotion left unvoiced.

Often this is not your problem to solve, but hers. Though you can help her. But NOT by taking her seriously!

Guys who take women seriously take on this huge burden of trying to figure out exactly what women are so exasperated about, then adapt themselves to whatever they think women need, so that they can do the male thing and ‘solve the problem’, based on what the women are saying, as well as whatever they can guess about what the women might actually possibly want, which usually doesn’t actually get them to the real root problem at all, frustrating both the women and themselves.

Cool guys do none of this, though.

Cool guys do something different:

They let a woman’s emotionalism roll right down their backs, with the result being that women are much happier around them, much more at peace, feel much more secure, and do not feel the frustrating isolation they do around men who are taking them seriously.

Tactics Tuesdays: Waving Girls Over

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

open new girls by waving them overWhen you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

There's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:
-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio
-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded
-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)
-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult
-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection

I'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper game approach - minimal effort, maximum effect. I'm good with women in general, but in this venue I feel blocked.

The tap & beckon sound good for chicks that walk very close to me, are there any tactics for chicks moving outside of my reach? Should I run after them? What should I say to spark enough interest, but make it look low-effort? Or maybe I should wait for her to join her group and open them (yikes)?

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

  • You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.

  • You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.

  • You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

Important Variables of Post-Field Diagnostics

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

key variables in post-field diagnosticsAfter a night (or day) out in the field, you need to review your outing to see what worked – and didn’t. Focus on these key variables for the biggest improvements.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week, I discussed post-field diagnostics, the assessment you conduct after an outing to pinpoint mistakes and highlight positive moves that help your interaction.

Why should you invest your time in post-field diagnostics? The answer is simple-it's a surefire way to maximize learning from each outing and boost your success rate. As you become better at post-field diagnostics, your progress will soar. You'll develop a profound understanding of pickup and seduction, women, and social dynamics over time. This knowledge will empower you to calibrate, leading to better performance in-field: you intuitively know what to do and when. You'll become adept at strategic calibration, macro-calibration, meso-calibration, and micro-calibration.

In a nutshell, you will become a better seducer.

Last time, we went through the purposes and perspectives of post-field assessment. We ended with a checklist:

  1. What happened? Re-visualize the outing and specific interactions.

  1. What did you do? Think about each interaction phase and what you did.

  1. How did she react? Good or bad? Did it work or not?

  1. What worked? And what didn't? What caused her to react poorly? What made her respond well?

  1. Why did it work, or why not? Why did she react positively or negatively to what you did?

  1. How could you have damage-controlled a poor reaction? How could you have made a good reaction better? Are there other moves you should have made?

  1. Is there anything you could have done differently?

  1. Were there external factors that may have affected the outcome? (More on this next week).

Today, I will expand this list. I will provide three dimensions to consider when using this assessment.

Coaching w/ Hector: Price Hike in 3 Days…

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

get coached & get good coaching with Hector CastilloDozens of men have transformed their results with women via coaching with Hector Castillo. If you’d like to join their ranks, the time is now.

How would you like to become a day game pro?

Hector’s latest client – a guy with some decent experience meeting girls at bars, who signed up with Hector after he decided to learn to meet girls by day – has since he started with Hector 3 months ago:

  • Brought 8 girls home.

  • Fingered one of them… and slept with 3 more.

  • Made out with a grand total of 10 girls.

Not too shabby stats for a day game novice!

Of course, Hector teaches more than day game, too: he’s a college game expert (having racked up 46 lays in his time partying at university) and the pioneer of the no-holds-barred ‘sexual direct’ chat-her-up style.

But in just 3 days, the cost to work with Hector will be going UP… by a whopping 67%.

So if you think you MIGHT want to work with him, NOW is the time to book a spot to talk to him, before his rates lift off!

Why Men Are MORE Romantic (Than Women Are!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

TEXTStudies show men are the more romantic sex. Why is this so? What’s the reason? And is there anything you can do to avoid falling head over heels?

Commenting on a recent article, a reader asks:

Why are men the romantic sex Chase?

I wasn’t going to ask this, but sometimes I actually think of a few girls that I used to like, then have to snap myself out of it and tell myself that they aren't even thinking about you and we didn’t even get together.

Pathetic.

Anyway, why are men like that, and better yet, how do you become unromantic?

I’ve noticed that girls that I liked a lot I could never get for some reason.

I would get all these stupid fantasies in my head and it never worked out.

So, I’d really like to not do that ever again and control my mind and emotions at all times.

Thanks

Scientific research has shown that men are more romantic. In particular, men are more likely to subscribe more strongly and more universally to the following beliefs than women are:

  • One chooses a partner based on love.
  • Love conquers all.
  • True love lasts forever.

Men are also more likely to idealize their female partners than their female partners are them. How big is the difference? Well, it’s actually not massive. On average, the study found men to be 6% more romantic than women are.

Before you think we’re making mountains out of molehills though, there’s more research that finds discrepancies between male and female romanticism. A 2013 survey of 100,000 individuals found men were 71% more likely than women were to report having experienced love at first sight. A 2010 study found that men are more prone to falling in love “if they tended to overestimate women’s sexual interest and highly valued physical attractiveness in potential partners.” Translation: horny guys who prioritize women’s looks and assume attraction tend to be more likely to fall in love.

Finally, anyone who’s gone through a rough breakup can tell you how common it is for women to seemingly shut off their emotions toward a man at breakup time. If she truly loved you, how could she do that to you – to the connection you had, you wonder?

This article examines why men tend toward being more romantic, falling in love faster, pining away unrequitedly, and hanging onto women long after they’ve moved on. We’ll ask whether this is a good or a bad thing – and whether (if bad) there’s anything you can do about it.

Dealing with Aggressive Cockblocks (What NOT to Do!)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dealing with aggressive cockblocksWhen you’re face-to-face with someone cockblocking you aggressively, your first response may be to get territorial. But this usually won’t do the trick!

Commenting on my article about girls saying you’re too old for them, reader Aiming Higher asks:

Hey Chase,

Appreciate a little advice on adroitly navigating cold approach scenarios where she's out with a friend or group and she or her mates remarks on the age discrepancy.

I'm guessing respond in the same way you outlined according to objection type, but address the person remarking as well as the woman and reversing the frame, if possible.

In particular, I'm wondering about this line: "You seem like a great friend and you also look incredible btw (not sure about a compliment here but maybe to defuse any tension?) though are you also her agent(s) who police who she can date or something? What next...you instruct her on what time she has to be home by and if she's done her homework (obviously appropriate facial expressions required and if she's clearly not school age).

Cheers,
Aiming Higher

What do we do here? Is it wise to compliment, then set the friend straight?

Or… is there a better strategy?

How I'm *Now* Getting Consistent 1st Date Lays

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

getting consistent first date laysThis step-by-step guide lays out a process for consistent first date lays. Want to stop having to wait for the 2nd (or 3rd) date? Just follow the steps…

This post, written by forum member DoWhatWorks, first appeared on our forum here.

Been in more of a taking vs giving trend (for my own standards) recently so thought I'd just give value in this post by going into my 1st date lay process.

As many of you know I'm a numbers guy so I'll say this to build credibility not brag - this month (April) I've slept with 5/6 girls first time from dates.

(x4 from online dating, x1 night game where I number closed then followed up)

In my past posts I was a big proponent of the Date 2 method & I think it's a useful a tool in your toolkit but after a certain level it makes more sense to go for 1st date lays.

It's more efficient, girls hook better & it just sets all the right frames from the start.

Before I dive in, Chase's post >here< is a must-read and covers the fundamentals. I'm going to add details that have levelled up my consistency.

Some are very obvious, but when you simply do the basics well and avoid mistakes you're halfway there.

When Girls Love Bomb You But Lie

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

When Girls Love Bomb You But LieYou’re seeing a girl who acts SO into you, so DEVOTED… but then you find out she lied. Why would a girl so into you she BOMBED you with LOVE be lying?

Over on the forum, we had a member who settled into a relationship with a girl who won him over with love bombs. She seemed like such a good girlfriend candidate! Among other things, she:

  • Constantly FaceTImed him any day she wasn’t with him.
  • Would even fall asleep at night talking to him on the phone.
  • Rushed to his place every chance she got to sleep with / talk to him.
  • Pledged never to talk to other guys romantically.
  • Went out of her way to make sure he wouldn’t “wander off.”

At last, he asked this loving girl to be his girlfriend – and she agreed.

Happily ever after, right?

Except, one day our hero felt a “strong urge” to check his girlfriend’s phone – just to see if all she’d been telling him was true.

Well, spoiler, but it wasn’t. During the time she’d claimed to have cut off contact with all other suitors, she:

  1. Was in fact flirting with guys – not just random guys, but guys she “used to sleep with.”
  1. In addition to flirting with these men, she was also (during this time she claimed not to be talking to other guys romantically) sending these guys naked pictures of herself!

When our forum member, after discovering this, probed her for more details (without letting on that he knew), asking her if she was in contact with any of her old hookups, she gave him a firm denial. Our forum member, reeling at her deception, then said

And now all my anxieties about being monogamous are coming back and it’s making me feel so shitty. I can tell it’s bad because I couldn’t get hard much last night as we fucked and I just blamed it on being sick. I constantly feel nauseous and can’t get the thoughts out of my mind. I’m constantly scared that the relationship will end now that I know that all these guys were around and I can’t confront her about it due to how I found out and honestly, I don’t even want to because it’s just gonna make me come off as controlling. I wouldn’t have been as bothered if she was honest about it because we were obviously not official. With the relationship being this fresh, I don’t even want to cause much drama already and idk I have a feeling that maybe they’ll all just fall off down the line as the relationship progresses. Maybe I took too long to make it official. It would have been a different case if I made her my girlfriend last year and she had this communication with them.

It’s not helping that lately she’s hinted a few times that our relationship feels a bit too easy like we are so in sync. I try to sprinkle in some uncertainty and do new stuff with her so that boredom doesn’t creep in too early but knowing what I know now kinda makes that “it’s a bit too easy” comment worsen my anxiety.

Why did this girl feel compelled to keep texting – and sexting – her prior flings, even as she love bombed our hero, and at the same time flat-out lied to our hero’s face by claiming she’d cut contact with all other suitors? Is he right to think that this will just “fall off down the line as the relationship progresses”? Did he, indeed, “take too long to make it official”? Perhaps he should have acceded to her love bombs earlier and all this could’ve been avoided. Why does his girlfriend keep hinting that the relationship feels “too easy” though (especially if it’s the case that it “took too long”)?

What does it mean when women love bomb you, and lie?

Learn from Your Outings: Doing a Post-Field Diagnostic

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

post-field diagnosticsWhen you go out to pick up girls, sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you fail. How do you extract the lessons from that? One way is via post-field diagnostics.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week, I discussed calibration and provided key questions you should ask in-field so that you understand how you are doing. Many of my students don't lack material, or an understanding of their material but they struggle with delivery, how to calibrate it, and, more importantly, how those pieces fit together.

Knowing what to do, why, and how to proceed after delivering your material will help you understand why she is reacting the way she is, and you'll know how to respond. You'll know which questions to ask next. This should be your priority if you are a beginner and truly want to learn pickup. Ditto for intermediate guys, who may already know what they are doing. Pros likely know the answers to these questions and understand what they are doing, but if you are a pro reading this blog, you already know that you are always looking for more tips to increase your skills.

It's wise to ask yourself how and what you are doing. The answers allow you to delve into pickup and seduction holistically.

And the way to do it is by post-field diagnostics.

What are post-field diagnostics? You go out, do your best, then think back and analyze what happened when you return home. Try to understand and decipher your interactions to further your understanding of the events you experienced and learn lessons from your outing.

We know that pickup and seduction are skills that require practice. And the more you practice, the better you become.

However, you can practice smart and practice unsmart. Practicing smart involves diagnosing and fine-tuning as you progress. Use each outing to your fullest potential as you learn and grow your skills by calibrating. This is what we will discuss today.

Before I begin, let me state that what I am about to share is not meant for beginners only. Beginners will benefit the most from this information, but all can gain something, including and especially intermediate guys facing a playboy plateau. Experienced guys all perform post-field diagnostics. They may have a different template, and that's fine. They can still find inspiration in the details I share below.