Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Sex Talk Gambit: Women's Sexual Subjectification

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sexual subjectification gambitWhat if you could take the hot topic of sexual objectification… and turn it into an arousing subject for romantic exploration? With this gambit, you can.

Hey guys and welcome back. It has been a while since we’ve discussed sex talk gambits, and I decided to share one today to add another gambit to my compilation:

STICKIED: Sex Talk Gambits Compilation (And more).

Today’s gambit is ideal to use in early game, as it truly works as chick crack: an attention grab that gets girls talking, ideally what you want in early game since it helps generate a hook and solidify it.

But that does not mean you cannot use this gambit later. You can because you acquire other benefits such as sexual prizing. And sexual prizing is invaluable—conveying that you are a good lover through communicating traits that are usually attributed to great lovers: experience, skills, understanding, plus knowledge about sex, women, and relationships, as well as comfort building and pacing.

I’ll review the mechanisms at play and how to use the gambit.

So here is “the sexual subjectification” gambit. It’s about discussing objectification.

First, I’ll give my definition of objectification. If that bores you and you want to get straight to the gambit and the practical element, you can skip the section below.

Showing Interest in Girls via Statements of Interest (SOIs)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

statements of interestA statement of interest (SOI) lets you directly state interest in a girl you like. There are pros and cons to this – yet if short on time it can be ideal.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have shared a few posts on qualification recently. Today, I’ll discuss another way of qualifying girls that is more direct, depending on the context. Qualifying a girl creates that dynamic so she matches your standards and you match hers, usually due to her qualifying to you first. You want to do this to develop the mutual attraction between you two and create an “it’s on” (or a “click” ) moment.

One usually starts the qualification process after a girl shows significant interest to solidify the bond and reinforce the vibe between you two. After all, you want to generate compliance (attraction) AND get something out of the interaction. Your goal is to escalate the vibe and create that bond— a “you two are meant to be” type of vibe. The latter will facilitate the escalation process.

Sometimes, generating compliance may be enough; however, the process is easier when you qualify the girl. It reduces resistance; she feels more comfortable and allowed—“he and I are meant to be.” As she thinks that, she will backward-rationalize that escalating the vibe with you is positive and natural. It is okay and normal to escalate the vibe with men she feels that connection with, right?

What does qualification look like? Here is a template:

  1. Use a qualifier. You want to trigger a qualification by using a qualifier: challenge her on something, ask if she is X (that you find attractive), or ask for an opinion.

  2. If she qualifies and meets your expectations and standards, she is qualifying to you.

  3. Qualify to her. As she qualifies to you, consider it good behavior on her end. Now reward her by qualifying back. This is the moment you show interest back.

The idea is to show interest without appearing needy while reconciling her attraction with yours. I have discussed the ins and outs of this in my previous post.

Here is an example:

Me: [talking about a subject that involves adventure]…and by the way, are you adventurous? (Qualifying her)

Her: Yes! I am! Blahblahblah (her qualifying to you)

Me: Oh! I love adventurous people! (Qualifying to her)

You’ll find plenty of examples in my previous articles.

Tactics Tuesdays: High Authority Direct Openers

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

high authority direct openersMany guys open girls direct in an ‘equal’ or even supplicating way. Yet open from a place of authority and your direct openers get a LOT more potent.

There are a few varying angles to use to start a conversation with a girl.

You have your indirect openers (which include things like opinion openers and situationally relevant openers). You have direct openers (including compliment openers and opening with a statement of interest). Then you’ve got your playful/nonverbal openers, and things like indirect direct, which fall somewhere in between.

Today we’re going to talk about direct openers, but we’re going to speak about a certain strain of direct opener: the high authority variant.

Because when you can mix authority in with a direct opener, you get a direct open of a very different and altogether more commanding, compelling, and attractive variety.

The Way a Man Dresses Should Showcase Who He Is

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

man dress attractive sideThe way a man dresses is like a megaphone to the world: it says much about him. It’s key the message a man’s clothes convey is both attractive – & accurate.

On the forum, we have a member who’s become fascinated with the idea of dressing like a bad boy. He got the idea from a few of us guys talking about dramatic results we’ve seen with attraction from women simply from upgrading our wardrobes.

There’s just one problem: the forum member in question is very clearly not a bad boy… in fact, he doesn’t even seem to grasp what “being a bad boy” is, or how to act like one.

Even if he succeeds in dressing like a super sexy modern day bad boy, he’s going to run into a huge issue with the women he talks to. The issue will be this:

  • The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to attract women who are really, really looking for a guy who’s a bad boy, and the more disappointed women are going to be when they start talking to this really bad boy-looking man only to discover he’s not a bad boy at all. Plus

  • The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to repel women who are not looking for bad boys, which (if he’s not actually a bad boy, which he isn’t) is likely going to include the girls he likes best.

This is the trick with how a man dresses himself: he has to dress in a way that attracts the women he wants, and he needs to be able to dress in a way that showcases his most attractive sides – not a way that conflicts with them.

Showing Interest in Girls: Direct Game vs. Indirect Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

show interest direct vs. indirect gameThe way you show interest in a girl – and the time you do it at – differs by your approach. Will you go direct on her, or do things in a more indirect way?

Hey guys and welcome back.

I receive many emails and messages on the forums, about indirect game. My students also express concern about this.

Men often read my posts or hear about indirect game through other sources and usually dislike it, as they see it as too passive, slow, and complicated. There’s a misconception that you do not show any interest with indirect game, so you do not get to escalate the vibe nor screen for receptive girls. You waste tons of time with random girls, just chatting.

But this is not true.

You do show interest with indirect game; at least when done correctly. There are some extreme versions of indirect game, where you do not display any interest, hoping she will come running for you as she sees you as the prize. Some women like men who reject them. However, this only works if the girl is really into you and has a codependent personality. If not, the odds of it working are low. So it’s not a good strategy in my book.

In general, I advise that you show interest when using indirect game.

When compared to direct game and especially neo-direct game, it’s true that you will typically show less interest using indirect game. However, many direct gamers show too much interest, and I think they are just being uncalibrated. Uncalibrated pickup is not a style of pickup; it’s simply BAD pickup.

The real difference between indirect and direct game is when and how you show interest.

Before describing the indirect game mindset, I will discuss when and how to show interest and how it conveys you as “the prize.”

3 Jedi-Level Mind Hacks to Level Up Your Dating Life in 2023

Guest Contributor's picture

By: Guest Contributor

dating life level upsMen get into seduction to fix a need. Yet getting past this initial neediness is what’s required to reap the greatest dividends with women.

Getting girls to chase you; that’s the dream.

Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. I was shy, socially anxious, and couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life. Truly.

But a lot has changed since then, and now I’m a confident guy who can talk to any girl, anywhere. I have girls chasing me, and I am even married to my beautiful wife who I met on the street. I specialize in helping men make this same transformation—regardless of their current situation.

It’s funny. My coach John Cooper and I recorded REVERSE Pickup! How to Get Girls to Approach You! where we use a simple trick to get girls literally chasing and approaching us on the streets of Barcelona.

This is one way to do it.

But in this post, I will share three sustainable ideas that can help you level up your dating life and become the guy every girl wants to be with, without tricks. You won’t see these ideas often discussed in the dating community, but they took me from being good with women to being amazing with women.

So I hope they help you as much as they did me.

3 Ways of Directing a Woman's Behavior

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

directing a woman's behaviorHow can a man direct a woman’s behavior? Nice guys offer stuff… controlling guys smother. Confident guys set rules and women follow. But which works best?

When it comes to getting a woman to do something, men fall into three classes:

  1. Guys who hope if they’re nice women will just do what they want.

Approach Defense Among Women You Want to Meet

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women's approach defenseWhen you approach a new woman, she’ll normally have certain defenses in place. Understanding this romantic defense is vital for the savvy romantic pursuer.

Quick caveat: this article is one on seduction theory / underlying principles, rather than more tactical material. I’ll cover some tactics in it toward the end as well, but just a heads up that in this piece we’re looking more at the overarching nature of the dynamic in seduction. We’ll return to more typical stuff in the next article. On with the piece…

Today, we’ll be talking about the receptive/pursued party in a seduction as the ‘defender’. The ‘defense’ mentioned here is defense against pursuit and seduction by the pursuer. This does not mean the ‘defender’ doesn’t want the seduction to happen (the defender may!). We’ll discuss what that means as we get into it.

In every courtship you will have, there are only three possibilities:

  1. You are the pursuer, and the woman is the defender.

  1. The woman is the pursuer, and you are the defender.

  1. Both parties are equally interested and exactly on the same page.

#3 most men will experience most often with girls they meet who they want to ask out, where the girl also wants them to ask her out. These approaches seem so straightforward as to not be like the normal courtship process at all – and in fact, they aren’t (due to the complete lack of resistance). Less commonly, you may experience it with women who are as certain they want to hook up with you as you are with them, or equally as certain they want a relationship with you as you are them.

The rest of the time, one of the parties is going to be the pursuer, while the other party is the defender. Whichever party is taking more assertive, aggressive action is the pursuer. Whichever party stands back is the defender.

The defender decides if the pursuer can proceed forward; the pursuer is responsible for maintaining the forward movement of the seduction and figuring out ways to get the defender’s defenses lowered so the seduction can move forward.

If one of the parties is showing resistance, that party is the defender. If one of the parties is overcoming resistance, that party is the pursuer.

Normally it’s probably more helpful for the man’s psychology while in a seduction to frame seductions as mostly mutual, or a dance, etc. However, there are some concepts we can really only discuss with the framing of pursuit and defense.

For today’s article, we’ll temporarily set aside some of the more helpful mentalities, more conducive to a seductive mindset, to think about these aspects of seduction in a more revealing light.

When to Qualify a Girl You're Chatting Up

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

when to qualify a girlQualifying a girl is a vital courtship tool. Yet, is it better to do it early, before she’s gotten into it, or to wait until she’s more invested?

Hey guys. Welcome back. Last time, I discussed qualification, what it was, and how it works. It’s your to-the-point guide to qualification.

Here’s a recap.

Qualification shows interest:

  • Without appearing needy and supplicating
  • Without losing value and frame
  • By increasing her comfort level
  • By making her backward-rationalize her attraction to you
  • By creating a deeper connection between you two

How do you accomplish this?

  • Have her qualify naturally by bringing up an interesting subject she can relate to, agree with, or share an experience with.

  • Use a qualifier to trigger qualification: “are you X?” Her positive response means she is qualifying.

  • Use an assumption: “you seem X.” If she agrees and it is a positive assumption (“you seem like a caring person”), she is qualifying. If you make a negative assumption (although playful, like “you are trouble”), and she says no, she is qualifying.

  • Use disqualification: “You are sadly not X, so it will not work between us.” If she disagrees, she is qualifying.

  • Non-verbally to qualify by mutual touch or hand holding.

You may qualify her, but you should also qualify back. This is the moment you show interest.

  • Express a positive attitude toward her qualification: “I love that you are X.” Or “I am happy you are not X.”

  • Spontaneously qualify by expressing an opinion, an experience, or a story that matches hers. Do not overdo it.

Qualification should go both ways. You are testing her compliance level while creating an excuse for why you like her. This is crucial.

Since qualification goes both ways, it creates mutuality and intimacy, which provides many benefits, including comfort, boosted compliance, and less resistance.

So today, let’s discuss when you should qualify. We will begin by reviewing early game and two different schools of thought.

Tactics Tuesdays: Responding to Women's Dominance Tests

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women dominance testsWomen will test your dominance and leadership abilities at several key points in a courtship. How you respond determines where things go from there.

Picture yourself on a date with a woman. You met her last week via cold approach. Now the two of you are out walking around outside, deciding where you want to go next. She’s in a breezy summer dress, looking quite nice, but she seems standoffish.

There’s a lake five minutes’ walk from where you are with a nice view. You figure that will be a nice spot to visit. “Let’s swing by the lake,” you say. “The flowers are in-bloom. The view will be gorgeous!”

“I don’t want to go to the lake,” she says, sounding a little snippy. “It just rained yesterday. It’s probably all muddy.”

You didn’t ask her to do it; you made a command. You said “Let’s do this.” Her response was to directly test that, objecting to the plan and saying she wanted to do something else.

How do you respond to resistance like this – to these sorts of direct tests to your dating dominance? That’s the subject of this article.