Hi there and welcome back.
Today I will be continuing my infield series, where I share my own personal real life experiences going out seducing women. I will cover the events and add my personal notes. Each post will cover one particular event in a way that you can learn something from it.
I’ve recently been talking about fundamentals that help you get your foot into the club scenes, whether it be having the right light-hearted approach, or introducing your personality in a way that embraces the challenges brought on by the club scene.
Here I want to talk about how you really should be merging your persona with your activities when out in public.
First off, let me say, yes, there is a certain stigma and social pressure put on ANYBODY who is active socially in public. People might view you outrageous, unfairly privileged, amoral, or even shame you for being outgoing.
Sometimes, just for waving at a person, someone else may see you as arrogant; or for having a sex life, people can think you “unrealistic” or “irresponsible”; and for being proud of your growth you will face snickers from people that think a man who self improves is “weak” for admitting he is not already perfect.
It is easy to feel uncertain about yourself when any of these judgements are circling you. It can feel like if you make a mistake people are going to make it worse and it will destroy your image.
You will FEEL a resistance to becoming part of any scene because of this feeling of doubt and indecision. And it is natural to close up and think “Well, IF I act conservative enough, then I’ll slip through undetected”. However, for most people, even though they TRY to not get caught out, the fact is, sometimes you just are.
My solution?
Personal integrity.
Note from Chase: this is our first post from Philip Etemesi, joining us from Africa for a four-article trial run. Philip’s been a follower of and practitioner of Girls Chase material for some time, with his own twists. Please let us know in the comments section of Philip’s next few articles if you enjoy his writing and would like to see more from him in the future. His first article is about meeting girls on buses. Here’s Philip.
I am a new writer at Girls Chase and I am more than thrilled to be part of a site that has influenced my game so much. For a start, I’ve been tasked with reviving a blog post series called Tactics Tuesday. Through it, I shall focus on seduction techniques that you can use in situations that might appear tricky at first.
If you don’t own a car, you probably ride the bus a number of times a week. Even if you do own a car, you’ll find yourself having to take the bus from time to time because you’re either saving on gas or you’re tired of pressing your foot to the pedal. Buses are designed to transport plenty of people, and any location where lots of people converge will consequently have lots of women too. Buses can offer a great atmosphere for seduction.
So in my first piece, I’ll be your tutor on the all-too-tricky issue of how to approach a girl in a bus.
One of the biggest obstacles for a lot of men when it comes to improving with women is fixating on the wrong thing.
Much of this seems to come from improper understanding of some of the raw basics of attraction.
When you see guys get hung up on one specific characteristic and blame that as the cause of all their woes with women, like the ones I discussed in “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”:
... it’s because they misunderstand attraction.
And when you see guys become (overly) obsessive about improving in one specific area, like muscles or wealth, it’s because they misunderstand attraction.
So how does attraction work?
Because surely, all these things have some impact on attraction... right?
But then, so do fundamentals.
And game.
So if all of them have some impact, then just how do these things all play together to affect a woman’s ultimate degree of attraction for you?
A lot of guys new to game view clubbing as a natural and easy first step. We think that immediately jumping into the deep-end and trying to swim is “obviously” the biggest and best move we have at our disposal to get more success meeting girls. But what if jumping into clubbing too fast reduces opportunities and causes early plateaus?
When it comes to clubbing, if you don’t hit the right notes, it is very easy to slip into the background of the club, ignored and unsuccessful, and being in that background encourages all kinds of bad habits and mistakes to form or grow out of control.
If I was to sum this central message of this article intro one sound-byte, it would be: make sure you are going in with a good chance of coming out ahead. Doing so obviously comes down to solid foundations, but it also comes down to some very specific foundations that are needed in clubs specifically.
The guys at Girls Chase have covered some of the big ones, like moving fast, selection, and mindsets, but there is another layer of preparation that exists just below this advice that ensures you optimize your clubbing, whether or not you can pull the aforementioned off.
These pre-club foundations act like a bridge between a naturally attractive attitude outside of the club, and a naturally ACTIVE attitude inside the club.
And they’re what we’ll be talking about today.
Recently had a discussion with one of our forum members about some odd behavior he was seeing from a former girlfriend who works in his office.
They’d had a friends with benefits relationship for about half a year, before she broke things off with him to enter a committed relationship with another man.
What confused him the most, however, was that this girl had seemed to like him more, yet she still went off to date the wrong guy anyway. Her new guy has some pretty big downsides, too: he’s jealous and controlling. He’s forbid his girlfriend from having any contact with her ex from our forum, and monitors her phone calls and texting.
What this forum member asked me was, “Why would she date this guy when she already had me?”
The answer, of course, was that he wasn’t available for the kind of relationship this girl needed – so even if he would’ve been her first choice for that role, he simply wasn’t an option she could choose from on the shelf.
I was doing some work at my favorite coffee shop when I saw an attractive girl sit down wearing a t-shirt with a university crest.
Pointing at her t-shirt I asked, “What school did you go to?”
She said, “Harvard Business School.”
I smiled to myself. “Did you have to choose between HBS and the GSB?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
I said, “What made you say no to Stanford?”
She replied, “The fact that it would have been more difficult to say no to Harvard.”
I invited her over to sit with me. I said the right things and we set up a date on the spot. On my way home I thought about how far I had come in my seduction journey. There was a time when hearing “Harvard Business School” would have intimidated me, but over the years I have learned a system for better relating with professional women. Knowing what to say to make them feel comfortable and makes you keep a good mindset so you don’t feel intimidated.
After dating doctors, lawyers, consultants, and investment bankers, I have noticed that even though their careers may look very different, their personalities are actually quite similar.
Recently I wrote an article called “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” where we discussed the strategy of using “projects” to improve different areas of our lives.
That article looked at our lives from a macro level, but the fascinating thing about this approach is that we can apply it to specific areas of our life too. For example, appearance (the article “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” should be your first prerequisite read for context on this piece.).
If you’ve been following my articles, you probably know that for the last six or so months I’ve been focusing heavily on improving my own appearance with the goal of seeing how much one can improve his looks during such a short time given enough focus on effort BUT still while living a normal life (which of course means going out, meeting women, and an occasional drunken debauch).
During this time I focused on the following:
Movements and posture
Physique
Skin care
Grooming
Style
And even though I haven’t managed to reach my goal just yet (to become, on average, a 9+ in terms of appearance, which of course is a very lofty goal) the strides in the right direction were significant enough that I feel I can consider it a success and share it with you.
But before we begin…
Welcome back. Today I will continue where I last ended it. Just to recap my previous post where I discussed going out and meeting women when you social momentum was low (or “negative” – as in “not feeling like it”), I discussed a few things and I used one of my nights out in Bulgaria where I went out even though I had caught a serious throat infection (I was on strong antibiotics) and also had a lack of sleep in addition to being tired from travelling.
This post is from the same night and is a continuation of that night out. In my previous post I covered the few event that took place before what I am about to cover in this post. I went out and talked to 2 groups of girls, but the emphasis of the previous post was on how I dealt with my bad mood.
This post covers the event of my third approach of the night. I will cover the interaction step by step. I will add as many details as possible and share my personal notes on the interaction and explain everything I do: why I do what I do and why and how it works. In addition to that, I will share many different techniques; so this post will work partly as a lay report and partly as a guide – a hybrid.
This post will give you an idea on how a seduction works – how it all works together. The main theme of the post will be around “leading” – i.e., leading the interaction from you being just a stranger in her eyes into you being her lover for the night. I will use the actual story of the report to exemplify my points.
Take a big breath...
Because this post is long, full of content, and VERY action packed...
In addition to the main theme “leading”, here are some other topics covered in this post:
Let’s get right into it...
Ever feel like everyone out there wants to take advantage of you and use you for their own ends?
It isn’t the case that everyone
does... unfortunately, if you have a certain kind of history, sometimes
you may not be able to tell the people who will be good influences in
your life with good intentions for you from the people who will be bad
influences and only want to take things from you it will not benefit
you to give them.
In life, you start off at a disadvantage. You are dependent on others to rear you into adulthood, and usually that goes “okay”; but sometimes it goes in some messed up directions, and sometimes it’s the world’s doing, while other times it is your own ignorance that’s responsible.
This dual possibility leaves a lot of people playing it so safe, or so close to the chest that whether they are harming themselves in the line of fire from forces beyond them, or are getting by “okay”, and so they choose the same path they’ve always been on to get them into adulthood.
Those suffering abuse often take a lot more of it before they see that the source isn’t them and it’s some other weirdo deceiving them and gas-lighting them. Those suffering under their own ignorance cocoon themselves in paranoia and take up vindictive mindsets. Those who get reared “okay” are usually roped into their parent’s troubled relationships or attempts to appear like an unquestionable authority to their child.
No matter which way you spin it, you always end up to some degree dazed and confused, wondering how the hell you got here, and why you couldn’t have just had a no strings attached rearing into adulthood, and a nice introduction into the world upfront.
