Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Not Give a Fuck What People Think About You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to not give a fuckThere’s nobody cooler than the guy who just does not give a fuck what anyone thinks. Yet to become Mr. IDGAF, the road is long, and the journey arduous.

Responding to my article about girls giving dirty looks, Omar, a Middle Eastern man living in a Nordic country struggling with self-consciousness when he goes out to meet girls, asks this:

am a foregienr in a nordic country and i like going out [solo] without a wing besides am not like a buff dude am a bit skinny. Anyways without going on paychopath i want to not give a fuck or atleast not too much fucks about what others think

Well, the first thing to say is nobody actually doesn’t give a fuck what others think. Everybody cares. The people who seem to care the least typically care the MOST. Since junior high I have sought to cultivate an aura of ‘coolness’, and I’ve had many, many people from high school on proclaim that “Chase is so cool; he doesn’t give a fuck what ANYONE thinks of him!”

The truth is that in cultivating that IDGAF aura I have been probably more intensely focused on how other people reacted to me than anyone else I know.

I have had a number of extremely cool people in my life, who seemed most of the time to not give a fuck what anyone thought of them. But I have seen them all in moments of vulnerability, when that IDGAF veneer fell off, and I witnessed just how deeply they cared about what some person or the other thought about them. There is no one who actually DGAF.

But beyond that: you can indeed ‘thicken your skin’.

You can get to the point where it becomes much, much harder to hurt you or intimidate you.

Yet the road is long and arduous, it is filled with trials, and it is not for the faint of heart.

I’m going to use nightlife as the basis of my examples of ‘not giving a fuck’ here, but the general takeaways apply to everything. Nightlife is just a more extreme environment, and it’s what our commenter Omar asks about; I think it works here, and I’ll use it.

Tactics Tuesdays: Prefacing Your Ask Out with a Soft Close

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

using the soft closeRaise your rate of girls saying “yes” to dates with you by asking them out with a soft close. Be smoother, get more dates, & experience fewer rejections!

If you listened to my lengthy interview with legendary playboy Skills, you may recall a section of the interview (near the end) where we spent time discussing the use of a soft close.

(the gist of what we discussed was Skills’s approach to texting soft closes girls after he takes their numbers, while my approach to texting soft closes girls before taking their numbers; either one, by the way, works – it’s more a matter of stylistic/game preference)

A soft close is a way to create a short yes-ladder that eases girls into a date with you.

Rather than smack her in the face with a high pressure date request out of the blue, you baby step her into agreeing to a date – raising her comfort, your smoothness, and the odds you turn this girl you’re having a conversation with into, first, your date, and then, your lover.

Today we’ll look at how to use soft closes.

How to Stop Missing Girls' (Obvious!) Signs of Interest

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

stop missing women's subtle signsWomen constantly signal the desire to meet (or not meet) men. But what do you do if you don’t see girls’ signals? Follow this guide & that’ll soon change…

We’ve been talking about guys missing women’s signals for ages on Girls Chase.

Time to finally get a guide up on learning how to read these.

Whether you believe it or not, women all around you are signaling their interest (as well as their lack thereof) constantly.

Most men are somewhat aware of these signals. The majority of men however miss a lot of the nuances. Some men struggle to notice women’s signals at all.

This article will teach you a process for learning to recognize subtle feminine signals – that way you can then respond to them… both to stop missing out on girls who are highly interested in you, and to better avoid the girls who just want to be left alone.

Bad Nights Out: Fixing a Bad Mood from Rejection or Being Unsocial

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

fixing a bad nightSome nights you go out and the night just goes bad. Maybe you got too many rejections. Maybe you’re just being unsocial. Here’s how to get back on track.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about state control and share valuable tips whenever things are not going how you want. These suggestions can help shift the momentum and get your outing back on track.

This post is primarily for night gamers who frequent bars and clubs, but you may apply these tips to any situation. I emphasize night game because it often relies more on your state, mood, and momentum. However, momentum influences all types of social interactions, with a particular emphasis on night game, especially your micro momentum. This refers to the momentum you experience during a specific outing.

Night game is more of a performance act. You require a great mood to convey better energy and guarantee hooks while benefiting from different strategic openings and options and tackling all the potential wildcards in chaotic environments. Past interactions affect subsequent interactions.

When we consider social proof—when women see you interact with other women, you will realize how this affects future interactions. The opposite is true—when you are not seen with other women and are a lonely wallflower, or worse, viewed when repeatedly rejected, it will sink your future interactions. It kills your good mood and overall vibe and erodes the perception others have of you.

Night interactions are interconnected, though they often include episodic elements that vary depending on the venue and strategy used. Day game tends to be more focused and contained, which presents advantages and disadvantages. It’s easier to change locations and start anew if you face massive rejections. It’s more challenging because you won’t have the benefit of social proof.

Of course, past interactions can affect future interactions in day game, but mostly internally. Your overall mood and state can determine your vibe and, in turn, your overall delivery and success of your interactions. In my experience, these effects are less pronounced than in night game.

When you are at a club, and things start to go downhill, you likely have noticed that interactions usually worsen. You may begin with a poor baseline. After forcing yourself to make a few approaches, things just don’t go your way. Courageous as you are, you move on but notice future interactions do not seem any better—they get worse. You may lose all motivation and stop approaching. The night ends with wandering around and, at best, some half-hearted interactions.

Men get inconsistent results in night game because they slip into the downward spiral of a negative loop as they struggle. Now that you know some mechanisms behind your poor night, we can discuss the solutions.

We can address two key dimensions with solutions: the mental and the social dimensions.

How to Get Dates as a Guy (WITHOUT Using Apps): 9 Steps

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to get dates as a guy (without using an app)We’re all sick of dating apps. But how are you supposed to get a date WITHOUT one? By re-entering the world and following these nine (9) simple steps.

If you’re a man who wants more dates, there’s a good chance you’re tired of dating apps.

You have good reason to be:

  • Apps heavily down-rank average guys’ profiles

  • They force you to compete solely on pictures

  • And let’s not forget: they’re 75% men! (sausage fest)

Just one problem though: without dating apps, how are you supposed to get dates as a guy?

How to get dates is something every guy knew pre-dating apps, but has become increasingly ‘forgotten knowledge’.

Well, let’s bring it back into the light.

This guide takes you through nine (9) date-getting steps that will fill your calendar with winsome dames.

Let’s begin.

How to Pick Up Single Moms

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how to pick up single momsWomen’s standards are getting higher and higher. But you know whose standards aren’t? Single moms. Follow this guide to pick up a single mom today.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from guys nowadays is that women’s standards have gone out of control. Every woman says she wants a man who’s 6’8”, with male model looks, a jacked physique, who owns 10 houses, famous on Instagram, making $3 million a year. It’s crazy.

Guys don’t believe me when I tell them women’s standards are an opening bid, that these so-called ‘standards’ women profess to have really have nothing to do whatsoever with the guys they actually go for and are instead designed to try to make the woman seem more valuable to prospective mates.

Guys keep asking me where all these low standards-having women are.

Well, I’ll tell you:

If you want the easiest women you can imagine – women with rock bottom standards, willing to take just about anybody – women so burned out, exhausted, and hungry for male attention they’ll gobble down whatever guy finally manages to make them feel like women again – there’s one kind of woman in particular you ought to go for:

That’s single moms.

Today we’re going to look at just how to pick them up.

Dealing with Social Friction, Part 2: Reevaluation w/ the 3 Rs

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

reevaluating in the face of frictionWhen you encounter heavy friction socially, don’t just keep plowing. Instead, stop and reevaluate with the 3 Rs so you’ll know just what to do next.

In Part One of this series, I introduced the concept of social friction; that is, anything and everything that emerges to impede or block your social objectives (such as, for instance, bedding down some cute new girl).

To recap, social friction includes:

In an ideal world, we’d be able to construct seductions (and other social endeavors) free from friction. But friction-less seductions only occur on paper and in the imagination. The real world is messy, imperfect, unpredictable, and filled with often unexpected sources of friction.

Thus, rather than hope for perfection and count on Lady Luck (who sadly will not always be on our side) to see us through, it’s prudent to allow for friction.

While we can’t always know precisely what forms friction will take, what we can do is fall back on an approach to dealing with friction that gives us the best odds of ending up in a situation where success lies within reach.

Skilled Seducer of the Month, March 2025: Skills

Skilled Seducer's picture

By: Skilled Seducer

This month, Chase Amante interviews Skills, the natural turned pickup artist and a long-time pillar of the modern seduction community. Listen as Skills discusses how he developed his game, overcame language barriers, and made his home in seduction.

Listen here:

15 Years of Approaching, Pt. 2: Risk-Free vs. High-Risk Approaches

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

high-risk approaches vs. risk-free approachesWhen you approach a woman, should you opt for a risk-free approach that lets you avoid rejection? Or is it better to go for the bold, high-risk, high reward approach instead?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I shared my thoughts on opening and hooking in the early game phase. I compared scripted openings to natural ones and examined whether it’s better to dive in immediately, following the classic three-second rule, or take some time to plan your approach. I discussed when to choose each method and explained why it’s crucial to consider factors likeapproach anxiety, low state, and no social momentum.

Today, I will continue this discussion by sharing details about safer and riskier openers and how to benefit from riskier openers, including direct and sexualized openers, without incurring all the associated risks. We will also consider approach anxiety and calibration with these techniques. Let's get started.

Women Who Give You Dirty Looks

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

why girls give discouraging looksSometimes you’ll lock eyes with a girl and she’ll flash you a dirty look. What’s it mean when girls do this? Is it ‘preemptive rejection’?

Walking back from dinner tonight, I passed in front of a restaurant and locked eyes with a girl eating with a group of people. She looked at me; I looked at her; and in an instant, a look of discouragement – perhaps we might say a wave of mild disgust – swept across her face. This girl was not attractive. I laughed when I saw this ugly girl flashing me this dirty look. Her being ugly made it funnier; but I get a chuckle from these even when the girl is hot.

Women will give you dirty looks sometimes, you see. It’s impossible to totally avoid; these looks just happen.

I’m a guy who has no problem with women. I’ve had enough beautiful women that I do not take these looks personally. Even if the girl flashing me a look like this is very hot… well, I’ve had girls as hot as her before. Or hotter. It doesn’t matter to me that she’s giving me that look.

The thing is:

  • It doesn’t matter how cool, attractive, or charming you are; you’ll still get dirty looks from girls from time to time anyway.

  • It doesn’t matter how successful or not you are with girls; you’ll still get dirty looks from girls from time to time.

  • In fact, the more women you make eye contact with, the more dirty looks you’ll receive.

You can’t take these looks personal (as I don’t); they don’t mean what a lot of guys assume they mean (i.e., that the girl is personally rejecting you). Rather, girls’ looks of discouragement mean something a little different from what most men normally presume.