Passing Women’s Tests: Congruence & Compliance Tests

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I’ll discuss my go-to methods for handling tests. I will cover my three favorite methods and share examples.

Last week, we went over common reasons women test:

• For congruence – if you are who you say you are.

• For compliance – to see how compliant you are to them. If you are too compliant, it signifies they have the full power of the interaction and may use you at will. It can also mean that you are a sucker, not a “real” man.

• As a challenge – to place you in a challenging situation and see how you react. This test screens for attractive traits.

• For limits – linked to testing for compliance. They will use rude behavior to see how you respond. Women seeking very dominant males may screen for this character trait.

We will cover these techniques today:

1. Congruence
2. Compliance

These techniques can be useful for other tests, too. However, from my experience, they are best suited for the two types listed above. However, there are other situations when they may work. I will give examples later.

 

Key Rules for Handling Tests

First, two rules to follow when dealing with a test:

• Stay calm and relaxed! She is testing you and will observe how you react emotionally. Staying calm and relaxed displays confidence and control. No matter how you respond, you always have better odds when staying calm and composed.

• Stay positive! Tests are annoying, but they are not always malicious. Even when they are, avoid being negative and confrontational. Handle all tests with a smile. Being affected negatively and getting angry will not only ruin the vibe but will make you come off as reactive and overly affected, and you will fail at passing the test. She controls the frame since she triggers a reaction.

Now that you know the test types you may face and how to react, let’s get into the techniques.

 

Easy Frame Control Techniques

I will start with the two easiest ways to handle tests. They can be deadly efficient but less tricky to calibrate. They are not too complex, and with some experience, you can get them to work correctly.

 

Ignoring

Simply ignore the test and act like it didn’t happen. This is a valid way to deal with tests. It works and gets the job done.

For example, if she tests your congruence:

Her: Are you saying this to every girl you meet?

Alek: and…so my friend told me the other day that there was something truly crazy about Croatia…

Or:

Her: Are you saying this to impress me?

Alek: I want to get a drink; wanna come?

An example of testing your compliance:

Her: Can you ask that guy over there to get me a cigarette? (This is why you should always carry cigarettes with you.)

Alek: And…there was this girl who told me that her ex always kept messaging her, and she told me she was annoyed by it, but I also think she kind of liked it…

Another solution: take out your phone to text and act like nothing happened. Or if someone is nearby, you can start talking with them. Both are more viable options.

These solutions work occasionally. But there are some problems:

• They may come off as a bit rude.

• She can bring up the test again, and you may have to handle it.

• Last week I said that passing tests help you score extra points. Well, they don’t here since you never truly “pass it,” you only dodge it.

Some benefits:

• These techniques are easy to understand

• They are good to use when you have no better response at hand. It happens less as you gain experience.

These work best when you have an excuse to ignore her (“I didn’t hear you”), such as noise or multiple people talking to you. So it may be better for night game.

 

Mirroring

All you do here is mirror the test back to her. These examples clarify this.

Her: Do you say this to every woman you meet?

Alek: Do you ask this of every man you meet?

It’s as simple as that.

Her: Do you always meet new girls when you are going out?

Alek: Do you always meet men when going out?

Here’s a compliance test:

Her: Can you buy a drink?

Alek: Why don’t you buy ME a drink?

Some benefits:

• It’s easy to pull off.

• You are confronting the test. You now have a good chance to pass it and score some attractiveness points.

Some cons:

• It can appear a bit cheesy if delivered wrong. Mirroring should be delivered with a tongue-in-cheek attitude and a smile.

• It may seem a bit confrontational and could generate bad vibes.

Let’s elaborate on the last point:

I’ve noticed that when a girl tests for compliance, she asks for favors, so using these responses may seem confrontational to her. Women are smart and use (outdated) pre-feminist social codes to test men by asking them for drinks, favors, and using “be a gentleman” behavior to force you to do things for them via social codes. By denying her (which you do by mirroring her test back), you also appear not to respect social codes.

The problem is that these social codes are less valid than they were years ago. Before women received their own salaries and worked outside the home, it would make sense that women get these social privileges, more so than now.

The idea of “chivalry” is often misunderstood. A man is not chivalrous because he does what he is told by a female stranger, nor is he chivalrous for accepting her request. A chivalrous man may offer a drink or offer a helping hand without her asking.

Chivalrous actions are not responses to requests. Complying unconditionally to a stranger’s requests just makes you a sucker. There is a huge difference in frames here. You offer her a drink and offer to help her versus doing so because she requests it. In the second situation, you react to her frame, whereas in the first, you do not. And this is where the problem lies.

This method is deadly efficient for congruency tests as you won’t have misunderstood social codes (or the perverted use of social codes) she is using against you. Also, the test does not involve her receiving anything from you, but it is purely about you. So it cannot come off as rude. Using such a technique against congruence testing helps you appear bold, confident, and even slightly cocky. This is key.

Let’s go over some advanced techniques.

 

More Complex Techniques

Now for some fancier techniques. They are not necessarily harder to pull off, just more complex to build.

But they are easier to calibrate, have fewer pitfalls, and, in most settings, do a better job than the previous ones.

 

Diffusing a Test

Here’s a technique I love. There are many ways to diffuse a test, but one of my favorite ways is instead of responding directly to the test, you create a story from it.

Examples illustrate this well. Let’s start with congruence tests.

Her: Did you get this line from a book?

Alek: A friend told me she would get her most clever lines from books. She would read so much and learn so much, and everything coming out of her mouth would always be so clever.

Another example:

Her: Are you trying to impress me?

Alek: It is always interesting how people deep down want to be impressed. It is like the human ego wants to feel validated. But I do not judge; we are, after all…all human…that goes for you as well...

An example of responding to a compliance request:

Her: Can you buy me a drink?

Alek: It is funny how free drinks always taste better than drinks that one has paid for, don’t you think?

Another one:

Her: Do you think I am hot?

Alek: It is funny how people always need to know what other thinks of them. I believe the new social media culture causes this…

What are the cons of this technique?

• Similar to the ignoring technique, it does not fully tackle the test but ignores it. She may bring up the test again.

• It may be annoying for the other person if you overuse this technique (so don’t).

• As it does not directly tackle the test, you do not win extra “attractiveness points” you would get by handling it.

Here are the benefits:

• Unlike ignoring, it is a safer technique because you are not fully ignoring what she is saying, just interpreting it differently. Hence you avoid being viewed as rude.

• By diffusing the test, you may get to talk about interesting topics that hook her in, depending on how you diffuse.

 

Pacing and Leading

Now for my favorite technique. I’ve discussed pacing and leading in the past, so if you like this technique, I suggest you read more.

When you pace and lead, you accept part of her frame SLIGHTLY (pacing) to lower her guard. Then, you set your frame on top of hers (leading).

You might think that by accepting her frame, you lose, right? Well, you are technically not accepting her frame fully since she also accepts yours. So you will be passing her test.

The definition of passing a test is:

1. Getting her to accept your frame
2. Not falling for her frame

You cannot fully fall for her frame if she has accepted yours, too.

Some examples, starting with congruence-oriented tests:

Her: Do you say this to every girl?

Alek: Sometimes I do (accepting her frame, just slightly, so you pace her), but it depends if the girl is intriguing to me, has an adventurous vibe, and has a certain degree of openness. (Now it’s your frame; you are leading.)

Another:

Her: Do you usually approach girls like this on the street during the daytime?

Alek: Sometimes I do, but only if they catch my interest (accepting her frame slightly). After all, you are an interesting girl, are you not? (Challenging her, which is within the realm of your frame. This is leading.)

Some compliance frame examples:

Her: Can you wait here and watch over my stuff?

Alek: Sure. (accepting her frame) But while you are inside, can you fetch me some water? (leading, setting your frame).

Another:

Her: Do you think I am pretty?

Alek: Yes, you are a pretty girl (accepting her frame), but beauty is very common, and I hope you have more than mere looks (leading).

If this seems like push and pull, you are not mistaken. Push and pull are closely related to pacing and leading. It derives from the same principles (and is also inspired by fractionation).

What are the cons?

• None!
• It is more intricate than other techniques.

How about the benefits?

• You avoid breaking rapport and creating a hostile, confrontational frame.

• You do not ignore her test; you pass it!

• You may even end up on top by setting a more beneficial frame.

It’s by far the best technique, although there are settings when other techniques are better. This technique may not be ideal in loud environments where you cannot talk smoothly. Also, mirroring can be more efficient for congruence tests.

You may run into malicious and hostile tests. With those, you need a more confrontational approach. Using pacing and leading may make you appear too weak. Some girls like bold and strong men, and coming off as a smooth pacifist will not help you. But worry not; I’ll cover how to handle such tests in two weeks. You’ll learn when you should use more confrontational styles over calmer approaches, like pacing and leading.

Pacing and leading is the safest technique and very efficient. This is why it is my go-to method.

 

Pacing and Leading for Other Tests

Then there are tests when she generates a form of a catch-22 or some other tricky situation. We did not cover those today. However, you can use pacing and leading for those tests, especially the verbal ones, when no matter your response, it will lead to your doom—unless you use pacing and leading.

For example, If she asks you:

“Do you think my friend is hot?”

Or:

“Do you think that guy is hot?”

Or:

“Should I hook you up with this guy?”

No matter how you answer, you are screwed. Say yes, and you may lose her; say no, and you may lose her. If you say yes, she will auto-reject or pimp you up with a girl you don’t want. If you say no, you may come off as rude. If you say yes to the second and third questions, you come off as a bit of a cuck. If you say no, she may think you are jealous.

So how can pacing and leading help you? It allows you to simultaneously say yes and no and nullifies the test—you pass it.

Some examples:

Her: Do you think my friend is hot?

Alek: She is cute (pacing), but hotness is more than just looks, and I haven’t talked with her enough to know if she has a “hot personality” (leading – setting your frame).

And:

Her: Do you think that guy is hot?

Alek: He does have his charm (pacing), but I am a terrible judge with men; hopefully, I am a better judge when it comes to women (leading).

One more:

Her: Should I hook up with this guy?

Alek: You do as you please (pacing), but I wonder why you are asking me for an opinion; I am very bad at screening for good male lovers (leading).

Pretty cool, huh?

I hope you enjoyed this example-filled post.

As a reminder, I have three open seats for my seduction fine-tuning coaching. If you’d like to be good at this and a whole lot more in the great art of seduction, make sure to head over to my page and sign up for a quick call to reserve your spot.

Best,
Alek