Who Is Really the Chaser in a Good Seduction?

Hey guys and welcome back.

In the past few weeks, I have covered indirect game. This form of seduction is when one withholds interest in a girl until she warms up and shows interest (unless she is interested from the start). I discussed all dimensions of indirect game, including how one should display interest (yes, one still should show interest when running indirect game), how much disinterest to display, and how to do it. I also have many posts about calibration to assist with indirect game.

Today, I will discuss a commonly debated subject that many men ask themselves:

“If the goal is to make a woman chase, so I appear to be the prize, how does this make sense if I am the approacher and the one trying to get her to bed? Am I not, by default, the one chasing her?”

It’s a great question.

 

Some Clarification

Historically, the idea of being the prize and getting women to chase you (instead of you chasing them) has been a key element of the philosophy of seduction. This is in response to most men struggling due to appearing needy and chasing women.

When men chase women, they see them as having lower value since women are then the prize and hold higher value. The higher the value, the more attractive one is; the lower, the less attractive one comes across.

Considering that most men are chasing women, thus making women the prize and getting mostly dismal results (sure, one can get a girl by chasing he, but the odds are lower, and the dynamic tends not to favor the woman), the idea of “prizability” and “making women chase,” remedies this issue, by turning the tide.

Indeed, women are usually more compliant when they start chasing. The dynamic shifts and the man now has more power and a better starting point when she pursues him.

Seduction techniques accomplish this aim: appearing more appealing to women and displaying attractive traits such as higher value, to direct techniques that reframe the interaction from being the chaser to being chased. Techniques range from push-and-pull to showing mixed signals to using open loops—all make her invest in you.

These strategies go hand-in-hand with the rising trend of indirect game in the early 2000s. No more showing interest—now we need the girl to show some interest first. It’s coherent with the notion of being the prize and making her chase.

The concept of making her chase remained with the rising popularity of direct game in the 2010s.

All these concepts had the notion of being the prize: feeling confident and knowing your worth. You appear as a man worth chasing, who subcommunicate high confidence, desirability, and value to women.

This frame dictates the overall game plan of indirect game, taking over the direct game school of thought: “You are a confident, desirable man who assumes attraction and can allow oneself to go up to girls to see if they are interested, if not, move on because there’s no time to lose!”

The notion of being the prize and not chasing women still holds firm. You can open with compliments because part of direct game is assuming that you are an attractive man and that women will respond positively. So, there’s an idea of prizability at play.

If women respond poorly, the thought is: “Fine; then I will move to the next woman and respect my time.”

 

Who Is the Pursuer?

After all, you are the one walking up to the girl. You are the one trying to get her into bed.

The question is, are you really the prize then?

In some cases, women may open you. It’s more common in night game, but not usual. When they open you, it is often situational and not because they are super interested in you. If women open you and start chasing, you are clearly the prize, and things will be pretty easy for you. Of course, you must escalate the vibe, make it happen, and, more importantly, not mess up. It is shocking how many men screw up because they get too captivated when a girl chases them, and they try to play around with the meat, attempting to make her chase even more. After all, it feels great for the ego. Be advised: many men push things too far and ruin the interaction. Don’t let this be you.

If a girl opens you and seems overly interested and chases you, you can safely say you are the prize.

But in other settings, you may not be so sure.

Remember:

• You are the one trying to get her.

• You are studying material to get her.

• You are following the mindset of “being the prize” because you want to get her.

• You are running the material because you want to get her.

• You are opening so that you eventually get her.

You are not the prize. Sorry, buddy.

 

So, What Now?

Understanding these mindsets of “being the prize” or any form of affirmation like “I am the prize” is a descriptive tool for describing reality. If you believe this, you may face many challenges, as obviously, it does not match reality. As a result, one may face cognitive dissonance and skepticism.

Some experienced seducers conclude that they are the prize and behaving like the prize results in good outcomes. Such observations likely stem from one night when the girl was chasing him, and he got to act like the prize and saw how efficient it was.

And from there, he tried to replicate this.

This is where it all comes together. Prizability is not descriptive nor philosophical. It is a practical tool and a goal. I will describe both.

 

Prizability as a Tool

This is prizability viewed as an overall framework. The idea is to fool yourself into thinking you are the prize. You read it right—it is not a descriptive framework that says whether or not you are the prize. It is a tool to so you act in a certain way that, in turn, conveys attractive traits.

Acting like you are the prize, or even fooling yourself into thinking you are, will affect your behavior. You may act more confident and selective and maintain a better frame.

So, prizability is a means to an end and a practical tool.

It gives you an overall frame of mind or an instrumental framework. It is instrumental, not a descriptive framework. It does not say anything about how things are but how they should be and how this framework can help you accomplish that goal.

The overall frame guides you about the type of material, behavior, and other tools one should use. These are tools that help you set the frame as the prize. It gives you an overarching framework to set your course. You can get a glimpse of what good material looks like—material that frames you AS THE PRIZE – frames you as the prize in HER EYES.

This is key. It is not about whether you truly are or are not the prize. It comes down to how the interaction starts looking like in both your and her eyes—her perceiving you as the prize being the most important aspect.

Ask yourself. Are you:

• Conveying social proof? It sets you as the prize in her eyes.

• Displaying higher social value? Ditto.

• Showing mixed signals? Check.

• Acting aloof? Yes.

• Communicating sexual prizing? Indeed.

The list goes on. Notice how prizability, the frame of you being the prize, or rather, becoming the prize in her eyes falls under that frame.

On the one hand, the overarching frame helps you dictate what material helps you set that frame. Yet, the frame of mind helps your delivery and material appear congruent, and the effect becomes more powerful.

 

Becoming the Prize

You are still doing all these things to get your girl. As I said, it is not about what is true that matters.

Prizability is an instrumental tool.

This realization should answer the question in the introduction and help clarify potential cognitive dissonance.

But is it so that you are not really the prize? This is true in most cases. However, a normative or teleological (purpose-oriented) aspect is at play. It is not whether or not you are the prize that matters but what you can become.

The goal is, eventually, through good material, REFRAME the interaction from you being the pursuer (approaching, trying to hook, building compliance) to turning the tides and becoming the prize within the interaction.

It’s a down-to-earth and practical way to look at it.

Seduction, pick up, and the material that comes with it mean to turn the tide and make you become the prize within the interaction. Prizability is purpose and teleologically oriented. It’s not a fixed, factual statement about how things are but what they can become and what you, as a seducing man, should strive toward.

 

Parting Words

The interaction will become easier if you succeed and get a girl to chase you. But this is easier said than done. You won’t make it work all the time. But that’s okay because you can still get good results if you at least make her chase you somewhat or generate a power balance so that you are both chasing one another.

It also leads to the best interaction with more intimacy and trust. Think about it. What sounds better to you: a man chased by a woman or a man chased by a woman? Which sounds more intimate? Which interaction do you think will lead to the best sexual experience and loving relationship?

I think it is the latter. Having a girl chase will sometimes happen, and when it does, I enjoy the validation and benefits that come with it. But I will not over chase the idea of having a girl chase me. Instead, I strive for a power balance. It is more realistic and desirable in the long run.

But now, we are entering the realm of subjectivity. Some men differ and enjoy the ego trip. That’s fine. I am more practical, and my experience has shown me that a power balance (but with a slight edge on my end) is more desirable.

Hopefully, this post provides insight into the whole mindset and frame of “being the prize” and clarifies the notion of chasing versus being chased.

To sum up, I wouldn’t overthink it. The easy route is to “fake it until you make it,” focusing on setting the right frames, and you should do well.

Best,

Alek